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Men and women being friends

Whenever I tell someone that I have gone or am going out with 'a friend', they do automatically assume the friend will be female.

When I correct them that it's a male, the next question tends to be something along the lines of 'could he be a potential boyfriend/partner?'.

When I respond by saying 'no', I then get asked 'why not?'

Is it really odd to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? I don't understand why I get all these questions and it gets annoying as though I have to justify the friendship.

Most of my friends are female and I don't get the same questions. My male friends are not my type (for a partner) and they know it.
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Comments

  • Indie_Kid
    Indie_Kid Posts: 23,097 Forumite
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    Of course it's not odd. I find it even more odd that people assume it's someone of the same sex / a potential partner. I'm female and most of my friends are male.
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  • Tlg1991
    Tlg1991 Posts: 178 Forumite
    edited 10 August 2015 at 3:05PM
    I would say it is rare for men and women to be just friends and both feel the same, i have never come across it through every one i know.

    My GF when we got together she had a male friend she had known for a long time she said they are just friends they have known each other since they where kids and started being good friends when they ended up in the same class at college. i was fine with it, but then after a little while she noticed he wasn't talking to her any more and when we saw him when we was out together he would completely blank me or turn his back and talk to her. every time they talked over text once she mentioned me and her doing something he would stop replying. eventually she realised he was jealous or bitter or whatever i don't know but he wasn't happy that he didn't get to be with her even though she just thought they where friends.

    I am not saying this is always the case at all, multisex friends in a group is more likely but a one on one friendship i would say is rare, i would always say there is more that just friendship on one side even if the other person doesn't realise.
    :j
  • fairy_lights
    fairy_lights Posts: 9,220 Forumite
    It's not odd to be friends with a member of the opposite sex at all, but often if two people are both single, and straight, one of them will develop feelings for the other. I'm sure we all know of situations where one friend falls in lust/love with the other, who just wants to remain friends.
    Obviously this doesn't always happen but is a common enough scenario that people wonder if it's going to happen.
  • AubreyMac wrote: »
    Is it really odd to be friends with someone of the opposite sex?
    No. What is odd is the people that don't understand it. But then, two of my closest friends are women (I'm not). I've known both through different social circles for over a decade and there has never been any romantic involvement with either.
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  • *~Zephyr~*
    *~Zephyr~* Posts: 612 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    I've always had more male friends than female friends. Maybe I've just been unlucky, but most women I've met through life are just nasty and want to b*tch and talk about other women behind their backs. As a result, of my 10 closest friends, three are female, the rest are male.

    There has never been anything between me and any of the guys, even when we've been single. They are just friends. And I adore them all the more for it.
  • nonnatus
    nonnatus Posts: 1,458 Forumite
    Of course men and women CAN be friends.

    But if both individuals are "straight" then various hormones will be floating about at some point. It's nature Vs nurture. There will always be an "Hmm, I wonder...?" moment. Maybe not for 10 years, but one day, one of you will think "Hmm, what if...?"

    Chances are, your friendship will survive such thoughts and platonic happiness will be yours forever,

    but...
  • Alikay
    Alikay Posts: 5,147 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    AubreyMac wrote: »
    Is it really odd to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? I don't understand why I get all these questions and it gets annoying as though I have to justify the friendship.

    Most of my friends are female and I don't get the same questions. My male friends are not my type (for a partner) and they know it.

    Maybe it's the way you give the information that makes people probe deeper. For example if you usually say " I'm going shopping with Mandy from Salsa class" or "for a drink with my mate Debbie", then when it's a male you're seeing it's just "I'm meeting a friend", it'll come across as you being all mysterious and questions will be asked:).

    Of course it's not odd to have friends of the opposite sex, but it's also pretty common for people to pair up with a significant other at some point, so if you're single, I imagine your friends will be interested to see if someone you're meeting up with could be that person: Humans are very nosy by nature....it's down to our high intelligence!
  • amistupid
    amistupid Posts: 55,997 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic I've been Money Tipped!
    nonnatus wrote: »
    Of course men and women CAN be friends.

    Agreed. but they can also be what is now referred to as 'Sex or !!!! buddies'
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  • I'm thinking the men are viewing you as a potential partner
  • Rambosmum
    Rambosmum Posts: 2,447 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    I have equal numbers of male and female friends. I don't find it odd. One was a 'bridesman' at my wedding. All my male friends are straight. There's never been anything between any of us.
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