Men and women being friends

engineer_amy

without counting exactly, I would say I have more close male friends. Some straight, some gay. I studied engineering (hence the name) and there were 5 females in a class of 100. At times when we split off into smaller classes, I was the only female. These guys were my drinking buddies and study partners, once or twice it became something more, but we are all still good friends. I was even invited on two of their stag do's.


Then the second time round at uni, doing accountancy there were more females than males, but one guy and I just seemed to hit it off straight away. he was married, I was with a partner, but there was no attraction anyway. We just seemed to bond over our similarities and the stupidity of some of our classmates.


its definitely possible for males and females to be friends without going any further, but in a lot of cases there will be an attraction on one side, or if there is drink involved things can happen.

DSmiffy

Have you watched the film "When Harry Met Sally" ?
Pretty much the same question

Grenage

It's completely down to the people.

As a bloke, I've always had male friends, and seen woman as potential partners, or people I'd be friendly with at work. I generally avoid active friendships with women, because it seems like a sh$%storm waiting to happen.

That said, I have one close female friend, but I also know her husband, and they live about 4k miles away.

There are plenty of people out there who do it all the time without a problem - I've just never met any; gay people excluded, obviously.

onlyroz

Grenage wrote: »

It's completely down to the people.

As a bloke, I've always had male friends, and seen woman as potential partners, or people I'd be friendly with at work. I generally avoid active friendships with women, because it seems like a sh$%storm waiting to happen.

That said, I have one close female friend, but I also know her husband, and they live about 4k miles away.

There are plenty of people out there who do it all the time without a problem - I've just never met any; gay people excluded, obviously.

You must be a barrel of laughs to work with if you view every female coworker as a potential partner.

I am the only female in my team (of 5 people) and in the wider team of 20 or so people there are only two females. It is essential that I can work effectively with my male colleagues and I would be most unimpressed if they were unable to behave professionally and to only think of me as a potential partner.

I am very good friends with a number of my colleagues - and if I was unable to maintain platonic friendships with them I would be utterly miserable and very lonely.

Gavin83

onlyroz wrote: »

You must be a barrel of laughs to work with if you view every female coworker as a potential partner.

I am the only female in my team (of 5 people) and in the wider team of 20 or so people there are only two females. It is essential that I can work effectively with my male colleagues and I would be most unimpressed if they were unable to behave professionally and to only think of me as a potential partner.

I am very good friends with a number of my colleagues - and if I was unable to maintain platonic friendships with them I would be utterly miserable and very lonely.

I think you've misread the post.

Loz01

I love football so Ive had plenty of males friends that I have viewed 100% as friends and have had zero attraction to in any way and Im pretty sure they felt the same way about me! But I do think people view boy/girl friendships with suspicion. They ask if you want to go out with the person, if you say no then they're almost puzzled as to why not!

milliemonster

I find it odd that if you say you're going out with a friend for lunch or whatever, you're even asked if its male or female? That's just bizarre, I'm married, have male and female friends who I'll meet up with from time to time and even my husband wouldn't even question whether the friend I'm meeting is male or female. Why would you even need to comment that it's a male friend you're meeting?

Indie_Kid

milliemonster wrote: »

I find it odd that if you say you're going out with a friend for lunch or whatever, you're even asked if its male or female? That's just bizarre, I'm married, have male and female friends who I'll meet up with from time to time and even my husband wouldn't even question whether the friend I'm meeting is male or female. Why would you even need to comment that it's a male friend you're meeting?

I have a male friend who I used to meet up with a lot for lunch before he moved away. I had no interest in dating him and was aware that he had a girlfriend. She was aware that we were meeting up.

I think if you question whether it's male or female, it says more about you than the other person.

As a bloke, I've always had male friends, and seen woman as potential partners, or people I'd be friendly with at work. I generally avoid active friendships with women, because it seems like a sh$%storm waiting to happen.

I don't understand people like this. It's only a shitstorm waiting to happen if you make it one. I've met at least person who seems to view a lot of women (including me) as potential partners. It, when you have no interest in dating them at all, is frustarting as hell.

Delree

I believe that men and women can be friends but sooner or later the sex question will need to be answered. Usually one person has ulterior motives.

I used to have a more idealistic viewpoint and scoffed at my friend who told me this pointing to a long standing friendship I had with a former work colleague. Years we'd been friends, then one night we were having a drink she took my hand and asked me back to hers.

No matter how long you're friends and no matter how platonic your are, my bet is that one member of a duo harbours feelings, or will.

onlyroz

Delree wrote: »

No matter how long you're friends and no matter how platonic your are, my bet is that one member of a duo harbours feelings, or will.

Even if you are both happily married to other people?