Best way to deal with bad manners...

Savvy_Sue

pimento wrote: »

I overheard a woman speaking on her mobile to someone the other night on the way home from work on the train. The gist of the conversation she was having was that her daughter had inadvertently changed the screen on her PC so that everything was upside down and she didn't know how to change it back. She was speaking to someone and asking if they knew how to remedy it. It didn't sound like they did.

However, I did know the remedy and caught her eye and told her (a couple of quick key strokes). She thanked me. I don't think I was being bad mannered.

I've done that, it's hysterical and damned difficult to work out how to remedy it!

I'd (politely) interrupt in similar circumstances. One day I heard a couple of students talking about money saving meal ideas and told them to get onto the MSE forum.

But then, I haven't had the benefit of money's upbringing so I was probably very rude to do so. Or patronising. I've been accused of that before now. I'm only trying to be helpful!

Indie_Kid

pimento wrote: »

I overheard a woman speaking on her mobile to someone the other night on the way home from work on the train. The gist of the conversation she was having was that her daughter had inadvertently changed the screen on her PC so that everything was upside down and she didn't know how to change it back. She was speaking to someone and asking if they knew how to remedy it. It didn't sound like they did.

However, I did know the remedy and caught her eye and told her (a couple of quick key strokes). She thanked me. I don't think I was being bad mannered.

To me, this is fine. You've done it with good intentions, rather than just being plain rude.

carefullycautious

summerspring wrote: »

You need to look up the word libel :rotfl:

I stand corrected


defamation/slander

duchy

Indie_Kid wrote: »

To me, this is fine. You've done it with good intentions, rather than just being plain rude.

If someone was slagging off someone I knew unfairly within my hearing -I'd think they were rude and would have no hesitation in telling them their conversation was unacceptable.

Person_one

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I've clearly been brought up in a different generation to everyone else. I was taught not earwig. (sometimes, overhearing a conversation is impossible to avoid) I know that sometimes that when waiting to talk to others, it's impossible to not overhear the conversation they're having with someone else. I do remember a while ago, I was talking to a friend about something and another friend was within earshot of us. I then got dropped back to the station with the other friend where he mentioned something vaguely related to that conversation.

I do remember a few weeks ago, I was sat a few meters away from someone and overheard a few friends talk and I knew they were talking about me and I went bright red. Oh dear. And before anyone asks, no I've not said anything to them about that!

If somebody is talking about you loudly enough that you can hear them without trying to, that's not you 'earwigging' that's them being rude and ignorant!

Its rude to try to listen in on private conversations just to be nosey, but there's nothing rude about speaking up if you happen to overhear something grossly offensive/untrue/b*tchy etc.

Newly_retired

I do find interruptions rude, especially when I feel I am being ignored or talked over.
On the other hand, if I need to speak with somebody eg during the break at my choir rehearsal, I go and stand near them and hope they will notice me and pause to acknowledge me. But if they don't, I am unwillingly eavesdropping on their conversation. I don't know how to get round this one.

Indie_Kid

Person_one wrote: »

If somebody is talking about you loudly enough that you can hear them without trying to, that's not you 'earwigging' that's them being rude and ignorant!

Its rude to try to listen in on private conversations just to be nosey, but there's nothing rude about speaking up if you happen to overhear something grossly offensive/untrue/b*tchy etc.

My hearing is rather sensitive; so it's a bit hard to not hear other peoples conversations, even if they whisper.:o

They for some bizarre reason, were trying to work out whether I have Autism.

meritaten

maman wrote: »

Does the sarcasm and exaggeration extend to the last sentence? because it doesn't sound like much of a 'welcome in the hillsides'. My brother lives in a small, Welsh village. He's been accepted and made many friends although he's from the city (and Welsh) as has his English neighbour. I think it's something to do with being nice people.


Yesterday knickers and twist came to mind. Further posts from OP suggest molehills and mountains!

I am from the Valleys - we are used to other nationals coming here. we have Italian, Irish, Polish, Czech, French, African, Jamaican, and many others and its been so since I was a small child - before that even, as south wales became one big industrial site with work for all.
I was being sarcastic as nobody here ever refers to 'outsiders or incomers' - we ALL are! the Valleys didn't exist before the mines or the copperworks or the steelworks!
perhaps in the more 'insular' villages in Mid Wales this could be a problem?
but even so - nobody likes people moving here and then criticising the lifestyle or the people. and here, if you speak loudly enough to be overheard its an open invitation to join the conversation.

jaylee3

summerspring wrote: »

When do Welsh people speak in Welsh?
When there's an English person in the room

:rotfl:


Poor OP, it looks like she's moved to an area where the attitude is "you're not one of us"..

pollypenny wrote: »

So arrogant!

Even where I live in the Clwydian Range about a third have Welsh as the first language.

I do get tired of this 'Welsh speak Welsh as soon as English come into the shop' myth. I live a hour from Wales and have relatives there (English who moved to Wales.) Me and hubby go there about 10 times a year. Sometimes for the day to the beach, sometimes for 2-3 hours to visit family.

I went on holiday every year from about 5 to mid teens with my family (late 1970s & 1980s.) And lots of daytrips too.

Let's face it, I have been to Wales a lot. (Clywd is lovely Pollypenny!)

I have never ever experienced people talking in English and then switching to Welsh when I walk in the shop or whatever. In fact, they are often speaking Welsh, and switch to English when they hear me!

Nobody in Wales is any more rude than anyone anywhere else. There are certain villages in certain counties (In England) where people get funny with you if you are not from that village!!! Same goes for Scotland, and many other places. Rude people are rude, and it's nothing to do with anyone's nationality! Most Welsh people I know - and have known are friendly and courteous, and our family who have moved there have been welcomed.

So this Welsh bashing is just so old now. And unfair.

pimento wrote: »

I overheard a woman speaking on her mobile to someone the other night on the way home from work on the train. The gist of the conversation she was having was that her daughter had inadvertently changed the screen on her PC so that everything was upside down and she didn't know how to change it back. She was speaking to someone and asking if they knew how to remedy it. It didn't sound like they did.

However, I did know the remedy and caught her eye and told her (a couple of quick key strokes). She thanked me. I don't think I was being bad mannered.

That's cool. I have done similar. I have heard someone saying 'I dunno where such and such a place is,' and I have butted in and told them ... It's OK to do that I think, if you're helping someone.

But I agree with what some had said that it's rude to talk over someone, and act like they're not there, and it's rude to be late.... well without letting the person know anyway!

But I guess if someone is being very nasty or racist or something, then it would be hard not to comment!

moneyistooshorttomention

I can see the points made there jaylee
- and can confirm I definitely wasn't being either nasty or racist. The comments were re the bad way someone else was treating me.