Does everyone have this amount of clothes?

Person_one

splitinfinity wrote: »

Maybe it is the way I write, but I'm not sure how many times I can add words like 'mutual' and 'consensual' into my posts and still sound like the sole decision maker. Like I said in a post above, its a question of how you bring about a subject with your OH - if you point out some advantages, it usually works; mine seems pretty happy to join me in some of my completely mad endeavors like giving some of our unused/duplicated clothing away to the charity shop.

The bolded words are very odd ones to be using when you're talking about somebody else's property that only they choose and use, even if that person us your wife!

Unless there is an issue (debt/shopping addiction/hoarding/lack of space) that makes her clothing your problem, why are you trying to have so much influence on her? After all, if your way of doing things really is so much better, then surely she'll realise that herself and come round to your way of thinking anyway?

lostinrates

splitinfinity wrote: »

Yup, mostly, but we are still in the phasing out part for her. She would rather wear things out, than to chuck them out.

For the most part, we have reduced ill-fitting clothes and multiples. i.e. 3 black jeans; 2 sent to charity etc

Ah, another female issue. Many women DO need more than one pair of same colour jeans. Trousers may fit us significantly differently at different times of month with no real / lasting weight change. Same can go for tops and certainly bras. snug fitting trousers or very slim fitting skirts or dresses of natural, non stretch material are victim to this, other clothes not.

splitinfinity

Person_one wrote: »

The bolded words are very odd ones to be using when you're talking about somebody else's property that only they choose and use, even if that person us your wife!

Unless there is an issue (debt/shopping addiction/hoarding/lack of space) that makes her clothing your problem, why are you trying to have so much influence on her? After all, if your way of doing things really is so much better, then surely she'll realise that herself and come round to your way of thinking anyway?

Because we live together!? Honestly, your telling me you and your OH do not talk about how much stuff you have? What furniture to buy? What sized home you need? The only time you bring these things up is if you were in debt/addiction/lack of space? Sounds like a very superficial relationship to me. Sorry to sound so abrupt, but the wife and I like to talk about our lives when we are sitting alone. We like to discuss where to place the new dining table or whether to get rid of an old sofa or wardrobe, whether to buy new running shoes, whether to go on holiday, or to buy a new TV, or whether to reduce our wardrobe, whether we look good in our clothes, whether the new sunglasses look good on my face etc... I always thought living together meant discussing these things. I think both me and my OH agree that we have a very happy relationship.

And just like she influences me in some ways and passes on her ideas to me - i.e. like how best to use a slow cooker or try some funky new recipe or restaurant, to upgrade her phone etc or when gets me join her whilst she watches her favourite TV shows or add her favourite music CD's to my car. I too discuss and share my ideas with her. i.e. what do you think of this song, shall we watch the new avengers movie, do you like this colour for a shirt, what do you think of this mobile phone etc

Person_one wrote: »

After all, if your way of doing things really is so much better, then surely she'll realise that herself and come round to your way of thinking anyway?

Are you suggesting I silently get rid of my clothes and expect her to read my mind and do the same? I take a different tack to you my friend. I sit with her and say, "hey I'm going to get rid of my old grey trousers and the old fishtank - I'll drive up to the charity shop on saturday, is there anything you want to get rid of?"

response: "Yeah, my denim shirt is a bit tight fitting now, can you take that too".

Sounds mutual to me. What other word would you use if you wanted to show that both you and your OH agreed to something?

missbiggles1

splitinfinity wrote: »

Because we live together!? Honestly, your telling me you and your OH do not talk about how much stuff you have? What furniture to buy? What sized home you need? The only time you bring these things up is if you were in debt/addiction/lack of space? Sounds like a very superficial relationship to me. Sorry to sound so abrupt, but the wife and I like to talk about our lives when we are sitting alone. We like to discuss where to place the new dining table or whether to get rid of an old sofa or wardrobe, whether to buy new running shoes, whether to go on holiday, or to buy a new TV, or whether to reduce our wardrobe, whether we look good in our clothes, whether the new sunglasses look good on my face etc.. I always thought living together meant discussing these things. I think both me and my OH agree that we have a very happy relationship.

And just like she influences me in some ways and passes on her ideas to me - i.e. like how best to use a slow cooker or try some funky new recipe or restaurant, to upgrade her phone etc or when gets me join her whilst she watches her favourite TV shows or add her favourite music CD's to my car. I too discuss and share my ideas with her. i.e. what do you think of this song, shall we watch the new avengers movie, do you like this colour for a shirt, what do you think of this mobile phone etc

Those long winter evenings must just fly by.;):D

splitinfinity

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Those long winter evenings must just fly by.;):D

Time flies past when your with a loved one. Between watching some mind numbing episode of "big brother" and discussing and searching for a potential property and dreaming what we could do with it - I know which I would choose.

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Some of us grew up in the days when hand washing was the only way of washing clothes.:o

I remember hearing stories off my Grans. I also remember my Mam having a twin tub and that looked like hard work. Although, when I worked in electrical retail, we had a lot of customers come in and ask for them.

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I remember hearing stories off my Grans. I also remember my Mam having a twin tub and that looked like hard work. Although, when I worked in electrical retail, we had a lot of customers come in and ask for them.

My mother did all the washing by hand (with the aid of only a mangle) until a launderette opened locally in the 60s and revolutionised her life.

splitinfinity

Person_one wrote: »

The bolded words are very odd ones to be using when you're talking about somebody else's property that only they choose and use, even if that person us your wife!

Unless there is an issue (debt/shopping addiction/hoarding/lack of space) that makes her clothing your problem, why are you trying to have so much influence on her? After all, if your way of doing things really is so much better, then surely she'll realise that herself and come round to your way of thinking anyway?

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Those long winter evenings must just fly by.;):D

Now if I was the suspicious type, I could say both Person_one and missbiggles1 sound a little jealous of the chemistry between me and my wife - we do get on awfully well compared to other people. Perhaps there is some misunderstanding (I'm not sure how many ways the word mutual could be translated, but it seems like it means more than one thing from the repsonses I've seen so far).

In any case, I will not jump to conclusions and question anyone's home life or relationship status or what they discuss with their OH. I'm just stating what works for me and my wife.

Just a gentle reminder, that my relationship is not the question of debate here, it is whether the OP has too much clothes.

(No offence intended at anyone in this post)

Georgiegirl256

splitinfinity wrote: »

or when gets me join her whilst she watches her favourite TV shows or add her favourite music CD's to my car.

Are you suggesting I silently get rid of my clothes and expect her to read my mind and do the same?

People have used the word spooky to describe your posts, personally the word strange pops into my mind when I read them.

The two paragraphs I've quoted above particularly puzzle me. Why would you have to join her whilst she watches her favourite tv show? My favourite tv shows and my husbands couldn't be more different, and neither of us would make the other one watch a tv show that they didn't want to.

What business is it of hers (or vice versa) if you want to get rid of some of your clothes to the charity shop or wherever? I've just took another big bag of stuff to the CS today. My husband had no idea, and really couldn't care less what I get rid of or what I buy. They're my clothes to do with as I please. So like I say....puzzled?!

I'd have put you at a lot older than 30 going off your posts. But I do agree on one thing, you can easily build up a staple wardrobe with a few good interchangeable pieces.

splitinfinity

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

People have used the word spooky to describe your posts, personally the word strange pops into my mind when I read them.

The two paragraphs I've quoted above particularly puzzle me. Why would you have to join her whilst she watches her favourite tv show? My favourite tv shows and my husbands couldn't be more different, and neither of us would make the other one watch a tv show that they didn't want to.

What business is it of hers (or vice versa) if you want to get rid of some of your clothes to the charity shop or wherever? I've just took another big bag of stuff to the CS today. My husband had no idea, and really couldn't care less what I get rid of or what I buy. They're my clothes to do with as I please. So like I say....puzzled?!

I'd have put you at a lot older than 30 going off your posts. But I do agree on one thing, you can easily build up a staple wardrobe with a few good interchangeable pieces.

Thank you for the agreement on the wardrobe.

Strange relationship you say, to each their own I say. So what if my OH tries to entice me to get into her type of TV content and so what if I try to get her to watch action flicks with me. If it doesnt work for us, we can just walk away and do something else. If the film/tv show is enjoyable we will both continue to watch it till the end. If its boring, I will say so. Cant hurt to try it, can it?

What I find strange is how some of the commentors on here seem to find it strange that they do not share experiences or likes with their OH. Have you never said, I really like pizza from this place because they do cheesy stuffed crusts or whatever else, would you like to try? Whats the fun in living life without asking your OH to try the things you enjoy? I find that really strange that you find it strange that we try and share the things that we like.

And with regards to clothing, neither of us dictate what can and cannot be worn, but it does make sense to a certain degree to keep an eye on if money is being wasted. "Hey, I just bought 2 floral print tops on offer" vs "Hey I have 15 floral print tops and want to get 6 more". The latter would certainly get a raised eyebrow.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

They're my clothes to do with as I please.

And again, I understand the "They're my clothes to do with as I please" point of view, and I would be puzzled if my wife tried to dress me in baggy jeans, tshirt and a baseball cap. But I cannot be puzzled if she asks why I need 3 navy shirts, I too would ask myself why I need so many in the same colour.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

My husband had no idea, and really couldn't care less what I get rid of or what I buy.

Like I said every relationship seems to work different and me and my OH are quite content with what we share with each other.