Husband doesn't find me attractive!

Birdie85

Well done on the weightloss, despite the attempts to sabotage it! :T

I agree with everyone else, it's nothing to do with you and all to do with him. I'll bet you *do* look loads better and he's scared that other people will notice you and he's worried that the thinner you are, the faster you can run away from him!

Don't let him put you down and don't put weight back on to keep his self esteem happy. There's no reason to drag yourself back down to his level.

Good luck with getting even fitter!

bush2102

Get rid of 12 st of ugly fat....divorce him!!

his_missus

I agree with all the posters who say this is his issue and his insecurities rearing their ugly heads.


I'm not sure what action to recommend though or whether his behaviour will alter.


You have to do what makes you feel happy, and if losing weight is what you want to do, continue and don't let him "win"!


Oh. and if my Hubby ever said "I'd run out of my uses" I'd certainly be going on strike around the house - no cooking, cleaning, shopping, loving...

Marieboo2

his_missus wrote: »

I agree with all the posters who say this is his issue and his insecurities rearing their ugly heads.


I'm not sure what action to recommend though or whether his behaviour will alter.


You have to do what makes you feel happy, and if losing weight is what you want to do, continue and don't let him "win"!


Oh. and if my Hubby ever said "I'd run out of my uses" I'd certainly be going on strike around the house - no cooking, cleaning, shopping, loving...

I'd doubt that would've bother him, he would happily live in a dump, hates my cooking and as for the bedroom department well hes had better there too.

My worry is, if I don't put the weight back on, and I have done in the past, although this is the thinnest I have been for a decade., we will end up divorcing.
Our communication is now a series of sniping and insults. I don't particulary want to be in his company any more than he wants to be in mine.
Maybe the weight loss issue is just a symptom of the general rot that has set in.
I'm going to continue to lose the weight. As others have said, he knows where the door is. As awful as that sounds.
I'm going to have to block him out and ignore his petty nasty remarks.

Thanks for all your opinions

Pollycat

LilElvis wrote: »

Perhaps it's all about his own lack of self confidence? He might worry that as you lose weight, become more confident and look better that you will attract attention from other men.

^^^^ This.

Marieboo2

Pollycat wrote: »

^^^^ This.

But he obviously wasn't happy with me when I was larger, he moaned to his friends about my size they laughed behind my back and he constantly checks out women. On Facebook and in my presence. Always thin ones. So surely having a nicer looking wife would be a good thing? That's what confuses me.

Tlg1991

i am going to post another story mainly for you to keep on track with your weight loss.

when i was 17 my mum passed away, she was a larger lady. a lot of home cooking mmm lol but luckily she never fed me and my brother to get fat, i got a bit chubby from time to time but she fixed it straight away.

Recently i got a lot of photo album, nearly all i think from my brother to show my girlfriend who has not seen any pics of my mum apart from one. anyway, as i was flicking through i started to notice there was hardly any. we went through about 6-7 albums full of pics and only a handful had my mum in them. i know she was very self concious about her weight although she did a good job at hiding it from us kids but looking back and having no memories all because of a weight issue that could have been fixed is very sad. Don't end up like that, give your kid memories to be able to look back on and share with his kids.

fairy_lights

Marieboo2 wrote: »

I'd doubt that would've bother him, he would happily live in a dump, hates my cooking and as for the bedroom department well hes had better there too.

Does he have any redeeming features? Nothing you've said about him and the way he treats you makes it sound like your marriage is worth saving, and certainly not if the only way you can save it is to regain the weight.

Marieboo2

Tlg1991 wrote: »

i am going to post another story mainly for you to keep on track with your weight loss.

when i was 17 my mum passed away, she was a larger lady. a lot of home cooking mmm lol but luckily she never fed me and my brother to get fat, i got a bit chubby from time to time but she fixed it straight away.

Recently i got a lot of photo album, nearly all i think from my brother to show my girlfriend who has not seen any pics of my mum apart from one. anyway, as i was flicking through i started to notice there was hardly any. we went through about 6-7 albums full of pics and only a handful had my mum in them. i know she was very self concious about her weight although she did a good job at hiding it from us kids but looking back and having no memories all because of a weight issue that could have been fixed is very sad. Don't end up like that, give your kid memories to be able to look back on and share with his kids.

That's a good point. I have one picture of me with my son and I hate it, I look so awful! So maybe I will focus on him and the benefits this will have for him

Marieboo2

fairy_lights wrote: »

Does he have any redeeming features? Nothing you've said about him and the way he treats you makes it sound like your marriage is worth saving, and certainly not if the only way you can save it is to regain the weight.

He's a good father. Very good. And funny too when things a re going his way.
But otherwise I'm not sure we are very compatible. He likes to be the life and soul, center of attention. I'm much more reserved and shy. This bothers him too. I think we could keep a marriage counsellor in a job for months!