Husband doesn't find me attractive!

Tlg1991

Marieboo2 wrote: »

No he said nothing when his friends made fun, just mens banter apparently. It was so bad it made me cry ( I never do that) and he told me I was pathetic and needed help.

As for Facebook, he doesn't know I can see what he looks at, he constantly checks out woman's profiles, going through their pics etc, always when I'm out of the room or in bed. But if I were to confront him it would be in some way my fault he does that too.

What the hell are you with? im sorry but for starters no matter what you decide to do he should support you no matter what if he loved you. whether that is putting weight on or losing it, there is no 2 ways about it.

And i am sick of hearing people think its acceptable to offend or upset someone with comments just because they say it is "banter" making it sound like its your problem because you got upset by it.

and then after he doesn't support you, lets his mate make fun of you he then put you down for trying to better yourself and making i change to your life that is making you feel better. im sorry i know its easier said than done but i know what i would be doing. he sounds like an absolute tool! you carry on doing what your doing, its your life at the end of the day if he isn't happy he knows where the door is.

fairy_lights

Marieboo2 wrote: »

I
Then he told me I look so awful that I have "run out of my uses" it's depressing.

Um, what!!! You're his wife not an old pair of shoes :eek:

ecgirl07

Marieboo2 wrote: »

Making time for him? Losing weight has simply meant reducing the food I eat, it hasn't involved me going anywhere. He kicked up a fuss when I tried to join a gym so I gave up on that. So he has as much time with me as always.
He spends all his free time online. In my mind lookin at other women, so if anyhting I thought my losing weight might make him look at me more, if anyhting it's made him worse. So I can't win.

Go to the gym, he is being an eijit about this anyway so you might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb as it were.

Marieboo2

ecgirl07 wrote: »

You are moving on without him and he wants to hold you back. Maybe try an approach you both need to get healthier for your son, plan some meals together and see if he can get involved without feeling he is on a diet?

Congratulations on your progress:T

Thanks

He has no interest in dieting. Or meal planning. Anything I do regarding healthy meals is undone when I'm asleep and he raids the fridge. I appreciate however, he has to want to lose weight, I can't make him, nor would I try. I always think you have to have your moment of omg I need to do something, otherwise nothing works.

ecgirl07

Marieboo2 wrote: »

Thanks

He has no interest in dieting. Or meal planning. Anything I do regarding healthy meals is undone when I'm asleep and he raids the fridge. I appreciate however, he has to want to lose weight, I can't make him, nor would I try. I always think you have to have your moment of omg I need to do something, otherwise nothing works.

You just gotta do what you gotta do but bare in mind weight comes and goes, him being mean, showing a lack of care and consideration for you will linger long in your mind and put you off him quicker than physical attributes.

Guest101

Marieboo2 wrote: »

Making time for him? Losing weight has simply meant reducing the food I eat, it hasn't involved me going anywhere. He kicked up a fuss when I tried to join a gym so I gave up on that. So he has as much time with me as always.
He spends all his free time online. In my mind lookin at other women, so if anyhting I thought my losing weight might make him look at me more, if anyhting it's made him worse. So I can't win.

Fair enough.

But what i meant was actual couple's time

(not that he deserves it, if all you say is accurate!! :eek::eek:)

But on principal / in theory - change is good, but can be scary. Perhaps he needs some reassurance (but again, he sounds like a bit of a ____)

calleyw

Well done the weight loss you are doing fab. Not matter what anyone says. Its hard and I know. I have at least 3 stone to loose and over the last 3 and bit years I have lost 2 and half and sort of kept it off :rotfl:

I am not defending your husband of condoning his actions. But he is feeling insecure. You are loosing weight so in his mind that either means you already have another man or are thinking of leaving him.

I know you are not but that his way of dealing with it is to tell you, you should not loose more weight etc. he either has to grow up and come to terms with it, of what he fears most will happen you will leave him.

Maybe you need to tell him that to his face and say you are loosing for yourself and that if does not support you the thing he fears most will happen you will leave him.

I wish you all the best no matter what happens. And keep it up girl.

Yours

Calley

Caroline_a

If he is edging towards 30 stone he's on his way to a wooden overcoat. Maybe he knows this? and is unwilling to accept it, so he has a go at you instead?

pinkshoes

Marieboo2 wrote: »

He's at least 9 stones heavier than when we first met, and a lot lighter in the hair department.
But again, I love him for him. If he is happy so am I. If he wanted to lose weight though I would back him 100%

Your husband is behaving like a tw*t, but he is clearly doing this due to his own lack of self esteem, so rather than sort himself out, he just makes you feel bad instead.

Instead of letting it bother you, you need to IGNORE him and keep up the great work.

If he puts you down, then you reply with "thanks your opinion, but I feel great".

He will have to learn that his constant putdowns are not going to get him anywhere and will not bother you.

If he keeps buying takeaways, then this is your chance to show portion constraints. Have a really small portion then stop and prove to yourself you can do it.

WELL DONE with the weight loss!! Keep it up! X

Tlg1991

If he keeps bringing takeaways home i would do what my dad did with me in principle.

If he put my dinner on the table and i moaned and said i didn't like it (as kids do) i said it once, he picked the plate up and put it in the bin. i didn't get anything else that was it. like i said i moaned once i learnt after that eat what ever is put in front of me.

Same thing applies if you tell him stop buying takeaway say it once if he still does it take it and drop it in the bin. he won't waste his money again.