Starting Again at Zero

Flyonthewall

ACG wrote: »

(1) - Totally agree, its best to get it out there so you can try to resolve it or improve it. But I am not so sure a job interview is the place to do it.

As I said before, best to be honest but keep it brief. They may well ask why there is such a gap/no previous work history. You can't lie at interview and then come out with it all afterwards. If they want to know more later on then fair enough, but there's a chance you'll need to say something in the interview.

(2) You might want to double check that. As a sweeping generalisation you are actually more likely to be off work with the same thing than someone who does not have a history of mental illness. There are exceptions, for instance if a family member has passed away or you were in a particularly bad position/job etc. That can be resolved with a change or time.

I think it depends on the person. Either they fight to avoid that low or they fall again. I'd say for most if they've hit that low they'll fight more to avoid it again. The same may not always be the case for those who have never had the low that's forced them to want to change things. However, not having a history doesn't mean you're less likely to be off.

Anyone could suddenly feel stressed and be off work, they could injure themselves or fall ill.

You could have someone with anxiety who is rarely off and does a great job or you could have someone who seems perfect for the job at interview as they know all the right things to say, but is actually useless at the job and within the first month is off with stress because they can't handle it all.

You just don't know.

Just as an example, my gf had 2 weeks off with anxiety at xmas as she was in a job that had her working odd shifts, 12 hour days with no set pattern. She also had me on her case to leave the job as its no way to live and in the end it all got on top of her (I accept partly my fault). End result, 2 weeks off work and she left and has been fine ever since. Shes happier now as she has a normal 9-5 job during the week, im happier as I know when I will see my gf and we can plan things.

If I had to put money on it, I would say she will never have anxiety again but if I try to get her income protection insurance (which I have as we have a mortgage) there will be a mental health exclusion on there for her as the insurers know she is more likely to be off and claim for that than I am...

Did she have anxiety before that or just the job just stress her and make her feel anxious?

If she didn't have it previously, that's very different. Anxiety isn't normally something you just get briefly and never suffer with again.

If someone told me they had a history of mental health, I would be a little phased. It would not be a deal breaker and the person attitude and everything else would be quite important. But I know not everyone employer would see it that way.

Which is why I think if mentioned that it should be brief and also that you should end on a positive note. Show them that you have something to offer them and that you are the person they want to hire.

ACG

I think we have different opinions on this.

I started a job about 5 years ago and lied about my exams at school. After 6 months of being in the job they were pressing for the certificates. I came clean and they said as I had been doing the job 6 months to a higher standard than most they would let it slide. If I had been honest I would not have even had an interview.

Its obviously not the same as a medical condition but it is an example of where honesty is not always the best policy.

As for the Mrs, no medical issues (mental or otherwise) before or since. It was a one off episode.

Flyonthewall

ACG wrote: »

I think we have different opinions on this.

I started a job about 5 years ago and lied about my exams at school. After 6 months of being in the job they were pressing for the certificates. I came clean and they said as I had been doing the job 6 months to a higher standard than most they would let it slide. If I had been honest I would not have even had an interview.

Its obviously not the same as a medical condition but it is an example of where honesty is not always the best policy.

As for the Mrs, no medical issues (mental or otherwise) before or since. It was a one off episode.

Just because you were lucky they let you carry on doesn't mean honesty isn't the best policy. Regardless of how well you'd been doing, many employers would have fired you at that point. You may have had the skills for the job, but that doesn't mean they can trust you.

You may well have got the job without the lie. Considering you got the job you must have put yourself across very well in the interview compared to others and the decision would have been made on more than exams at school.

That's different then. Suffering long term gives you a very different outlook on life, especially when you then start to build your life up again.

ACG

I would not have made it to an interview if I had told them I did not have the qualifications as it was a requirement of the job.

I think we should both agree to disagree as we have different opinions and I am sure we could both debate it all day long.

BJV

I am an employer and as much as I would love to say don't worry having mental health issues is not a problem it may be. Well ok it can be if you let it.


The first thing that you need to do is get well.


Remember that it takes a lot of guts to admit that you need help so you have already done the hard part. Medication has improved in leaps and bounds so go see your doctor and see what they say.


Once you are well you need to speak to your local job centre or college about training. You need to get some qualifications and you are never too old. Not everyone is academic so you do not have to go for anything other than basic maths English etc.


While you are doing that you can also volunteer. Some companies take the !!!!b out of volunteers but not all and it can make a big difference in that any future employer can see that you have been activity doing something.


The combination of studying and volunteering will hopefully give you some self esteem. I really do not want to sound harsh so please do not take this the wrong way but no-one will give you a job while you yourself think that you are unemployable.


We have in past employed people with mental health conditions in varying degrees and it by no means has to be an issue but you have to be upfront.


I wish the world was different and that we where all more open about mental health after all it is something that will affect a lot of us but we are not. I think that the taboo is slowly coming away but it can mean that there may be issues that both you are your employer will have to think about.


I really hope that you make it and wish you all the best.


There are some really nice genuine people on here and some that you have to take with a pinch of salt but on the whole you will get some really helpful advice from people who have real experience.


So good on you and in 5 years time when you have just been promoted to the head of Barclays bank you will look back and say wow remember!!! Ok perhaps a tad optimistic lol but everything has to start with baby steps.

BJV

Flyonthewall wrote: »

Just because you were lucky they let you carry on doesn't mean honesty isn't the best policy. Regardless of how well you'd been doing, many employers would have fired you at that point. You may have had the skills for the job, but that doesn't mean they can trust you.

You may well have got the job without the lie. Considering you got the job you must have put yourself across very well in the interview compared to others and the decision would have been made on more than exams at school.

That's different then. Suffering long term gives you a very different outlook on life, especially when you then start to build your life up again.

Completely agree I would of sacked you on the spot. Not because of the lie but because you would of broken the trust that has to exist between employer and employee.


I think that it is sad that you felt as though you had to lie. Lets hope you where not applying to be a brain surgeon !!! ha ha

BJV

ACG wrote: »

I would not have made it to an interview if I had told them I did not have the qualifications as it was a requirement of the job.

I think we should both agree to disagree as we have different opinions and I am sure we could both debate it all day long.

How do you know? Hey look we all do what we think is right at the time. No-one ever makes a decision and thinks hey it is the wrong thing to do but lets do it anyway.


I live in the real world just like you and I employee people. Exam results are important but not half as important as the person themselves. The exam result may even be in a completely unrelated field but it shows a level. Are you still working at the same company?

Flyonthewall

ACG wrote: »

I would not have made it to an interview if I had told them I did not have the qualifications as it was a requirement of the job.

I think we should both agree to disagree as we have different opinions and I am sure we could both debate it all day long.

Ah. Well you still could have been honest. There are numerous positive things you could have said and they may well have given you a chance - everyone has to start somewhere.

If you weren't meeting the requirements of the job the better thing would have been to prove yourself by getting the qualifications.

Instead you lied your way into a job and were very lucky when they kept you on.

So you're right, I'm never going to agree with you as I believe what you did was wrong and I certainly don't think it's right to suggest others should be dishonest too.

OP is doing their best to build up their life and there's nothing wrong with having had issues in the past. They shouldn't start on a lie. Most employers are likely to be understanding. Those that aren't you probably don't want to work for anyway!

chella

OP have you always lived at home with your parent? How have you managed financially up to now?


Do you feel your parent has enabled you to live as you have been therefor hindering you also?


I am just curious as I know someone in a very similar situation to you.


Hope you have had a positive day today.

brokennotbent

I'm not the OP but I can answer yes, then ask why do you want to know? Helping or nosey?