My stag do issue: advice please

skintpaul

Just. say. no.

Brighton_belle

967stuart wrote: »

OP, I was in the same boat as you.
In the end, I decided to just go with the flow.
Everyone had a blast (me too!)
Why are you stressing so much? It's a night to have fun, act a bit foolish and get merry (or smashed!)

Don't over analyze it. It's just a night out with the lads.

I'm sure once you're out and have had a few drinks, you wont be bothered.

The stakes are too high if it turns out his instincts were right and he does find it all distressing. And he had planned fun that he was really looking forward to - a meal and a blues club.


It's ok for me to know that I would hate a night of inflatable willies, male strippers and shrieking loudly and drunkenly while wearing L plates. Doesn't need analysing, just avoiding, lol.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I've been to full-on Hen Nights, with the full array of novelty penises and excessive boozing, and ones with just 4 people having afternoon tea. I enjoyed both, as it's what the Hen wanted. I've also organised a Hen Night and had to firmly refuse those who demanded we order a stripper (the hen had explicitly made me promise not to have one). Some people are insistent that hens/stags follow exactly the same cliched pattern.

My boyfriend's been to 3 or 4 stags in Amsterdam, and said he was actually quite bored on the last one as it was the same old expensive strip club looking at dead-eyed naked women who were utterly disinterested. Perhaps some of the other lads in the group would actually prefer the OP's type of evening but don't speak out for fear of looking like a lightweight?

If it's a decent restaurant and club, they may refuse entry to large groups of men in fancy dress, and/or strippers so worth mentioning that to the Best Man. Hope you enjoy some good food and music with great company.

967stuart

Brighton_belle wrote: »

The stakes are too high if it turns out his instincts were right and he does find it all distressing. And he had planned fun that he was really looking forward to - a meal and a blues club.


It's ok for me to know that I would hate a night of inflatable willies, male strippers and shrieking loudly and drunkenly while wearing L plates. Doesn't need analysing, just avoiding, lol.

They're only 'High' if you worry about it.

Try not to focus on the negatives OP. At the end of the day, if you're out on the town then 99.9% of people out about will be out for a good time too so don't worry about it.

Look at a positives instead, you're going out with friends for a laugh and a few beers.

KARO

It depends on your idea of having a good time I suppose!

Not everyone's idea of a great night out is getting hammered and behaving like a***holes.

hazyjo

Thing is, it's not really YOU having to stand up to HIM - it's HIM standing up to everyone else who's putting the pressure on him.


I think maybe a joint email to everyone saying something like you don't want to be a stick in the mud, nor do you want to spoil the atmosphere, but you really hate the idea of the type of 'stag do' they all want for you, and that you're more than happy for them all to go have a p*** up without you (and you'll even cover if they need an excuse!) but that you can't think of anything worse and you hope that as your closest friends, they'll respect that...


Fingers crossed.


Jx

Gigervamp

967stuart wrote: »

They're only 'High' if you worry about it.

Try not to focus on the negatives OP. At the end of the day, if you're out on the town then 99.9% of people out about will be out for a good time too so don't worry about it.

Look at a positives instead, you're going out with friends for a laugh and a few beers.

That's not what the OP wants. You are doing exactly what his best man is doing, i.e ignoring his wishes.


OP, as others have said, speak to your best man. If you think he still doesn't get it, maybe it's time to tell him that if he goes ahead with his plan, he will no longer be your best man.

duchy

I'd tell your best man to grow up

There's nothing worse than a try hard and he's trying too hard. HE may want to relive his teenage years but it is your stag do and he can either respect your wishes for the kind of night it is or resign as best man.

Have the night YOU want - and tell him to get stuffed.

RuthnJasper

967stuart wrote: »

They're only 'High' if you worry about it.

Try not to focus on the negatives OP. At the end of the day, if you're out on the town then 99.9% of people out about will be out for a good time too so don't worry about it.

Look at a positives instead, you're going out with friends for a laugh and a few beers.

Not if the 0.1% of the group who is miserable is actually the groom!

gabriel1980

God I do love strip clubs!!