Intimidated by new partner's wealth/expectations

Randomjargon

Please don't use the word stimulation on MSE.

catoutthebag

I think he's lying about his salary

melanzana

SavingPennies wrote: »

How do you know he earns that much? You're only going by what he tells you, he could just be trying to impress you.

I said earlier in the thread that he might just be living high on the hog on a credit card to impress.

Who knows.

catoutthebag

I'm surprised that in the space of a few dates it's got onto sex and salary talk, especially the latter.

FBaby

My thoughts exactly. He sounds like a boaster, both about his wealth and taking the OP to expensive restaurants.

Just because he suggested inviting her to another restaurant? If I'd gone on one date and he suggested McDonalds, I most likely would have suggested a nicer place and would have been happy to pay. Would that have made a boaster?

People on this forum really have an issue with higher earners! How dare anyone suggest taking a lady he likes to a smart restaurant when at no time she said to him she didn't enjoy it.

The issue is with the OP who is clearly suffering from low confidence, not with him being just himself!

jetplane

FBaby wrote: »

The issue is with the OP who is clearly suffering from low confidence, not with him being just himself!

wow - in your opinion

pollypenny

FBaby wrote: »

Just because he suggested inviting her to another restaurant? If I'd gone on one date and he suggested McDonalds, I most likely would have suggested a nicer place and would have been happy to pay. Would that have made a boaster?

People on this forum really have an issue with higher earners! How dare anyone suggest taking a lady he likes to a smart restaurant when at no time she said to him she didn't enjoy it.

The issue is with the OP who is clearly suffering from low confidence, not with him being just himself!

Who talks about their high salary, especially in the early days of dating? Calculating that he earns 35 times more than her, I think it was? Hmmmmm. Definitely need a roll eyes.

The OP wasn't arranging to meet at McDonald's, by the way, but maybe the local gastro pub.

indiepanda

I see there being two different issues - the money and the sex.

On the money front it seems you are more concerned about the difference in your salaries than he is - you describe yourself as "lowly".

A) Not all successful career men want an equally career minded partner - sometimes juggling two careers in a relationship can mean you never get to see each other - of course sometimes it can be a control thing too. But if he insisted on only dating women who earned as much as him it sounds like he'd be significantly narrowing his chances of finding anyone.

Lots of men seem to enjoy treating their girlfriend - not sure I would class it as being domineering. I've had boyfriends who really wanted to choose nice places to take me and pay because they'd been brought up to believe that's what a gentleman did - especially on the first few dates. Current boyfriend is quite happy taking it in turns to pay so that's what we do - I'll admit I am more comfortable with that, but then we're more equally financially so it works.

On the sex front... I'd be more concerned. I've had boyfriends who were selfish in bed and they didn't improve over time. One was convinced all his ex girlfriends came without any foreplay and only penetrative sex. He didn't seem to like it when I suggested they were probably faking it. I had manage to get him to try positions that made it more likely I could come through penetrative sex, but the foreplay never really got any better (i.e. there wasn't really any!). As time went on it became quite clear that he was selfish in many respects.

Wish I could claim I dumped him but I was young and didn't have that much confidence... Although he did want me back a couple of years later and after a few dates and me finally realising what a selfish git he was, I did have the pleasure of returning the complement.

catoutthebag

24 times it was (350k minimum)

I think you need to see him as him. Try put the wealth to one side.

yvonne13_2

OP sex is a womans right and not a mans prerogative and the way he treats you in the bedrooom is an indication of whom he really is.