I WILL get there!!

kirtsypoos

Thanks lincs - he goes through bad times and it seems worse around winter so I think he may have some sort of SAD - coupled with being away from his friends and family it makes for a difficult few months. Hopefully he will start to pick up a bit now the days are getting longer. He had better anyway, I'll go absolutely mental if he ruins my birthday with his moods!

We got to Morocco at the end of April and I cannot wait! I will be trying to completely ignore work whilst I'm away so hopefully my stress levels will be drastically reduced.

lincs1205

I think there is a lot to be said about the effect the dark winter months have on our emotions and mood and we are all susceptible to it. Hopefully he will start to feel better now the days are getting longer. Definitely forget about work when you go away it sounds like its come at the right time for you.

kirtsypoos

Thanks lincs, I think it has too - hopefully the results will be in when I get back so it should work out quite well.

I agree - I know I'm more down in the Winter months but with OH it is really quite bad - he doesn't sleep properly and I know he feels worse and worse as time goes on, which means he gets more and more snappy with me and I in turn get more annoyed with him - a vicious cycle!

lincs1205

It is a vicious circle my Dh is prone to colds partly due to him doing permanent nights, it was hard at first to get him to do anything about it but he's now taken to drinking lemon & ginger tea and drinking more fluids. Do you think your oh might drink some chamomile tea or probably a warm bath before bedtime?. They are hard work at times a bit like banging your head against a brick wall lol.

kirtsypoos

I know exactly what you mean! The problem I have is he is from a very 'manly' family and country - it took over a year to get him to admit he was depressed and he still refuses medication and constantly has to be reminded that he really needs to see a counsellor for the sake of our relationship and his own sanity.
In his mind, a 'man' would just suck it up and get on with it, which includes being told what to do - he automatically rebels against anything he is told to do as opposed to being asked! So very frustrating!

lincs1205

Men eh I really do sympathise with you hun. On Christmas eve we had the day planned out we were going to get up early and go visiting the day started off well but then dh said his kidneys hurt and wanted to go home as he was in pain now I wasn't very pleased because I had been looking forward to spending the day together anyway long and short of it was I ended up going out without him. Before this I told him he wasn't drinking enough and was drinking to much coke as a nurse I'm not a very sympathetic person towards those who aren't prepared to help themselves so as you can imagine he got pretty short shrift.

Your oh sounds like he needs a nudge in the right direction especially if it's starting to impact on your relationship and his health.

kirtsypoos

I agree lincs, and it's only getting worse this week - we went for a drink last night (guinness for St Patricks Day....and because we love it anyway!) and had a nice night. Happy days or so I thought...

Today he has had a letter fining him £300 for not doing a self assessment tax return, which we didn't know he needed to do as he has had no letters requesting it, and he is in a salaried position with no expenses/overtime etc so I don't know why he would need to complete one? I'm not really up on tax anyway...

So he called and explained and they went through the system and said he owed £300 in tax on top of the fines but no-one really seems to understand how or why?! I'm confused and he is FOUL. I'm glad I don't work near him as I'd probably kill him given how he's been over texts. In part, I understand - everytime we get sorted financially there seems to be something else goes wrong.

Very sorry for ourselves today. Must try to look forward to my birthday extravaganza next week (meal out with OH on Thursday, 'surprise' family meal on Friday, 'surprise' saturday activity and a birthday party/housewarming on Sunday)

lincs1205

Oh dear, as your diary title says you will get there, we're on a journey whether it is short and direct one or we're taking the more scenic route. Your weekend sounds great lots to look toward to.

Kitten868

Ouch! How can they determine he owes £300 without the assessment? Maybe it's time to get some advice?
This is the point of this journey I think. We don't just have debt because we are naughty spenders it's also because life crops up and bites you in the bum and steals your money. It's all part of the learning curve. I do think a contingency pot is going to be an important feature of my finances once I'm debt free. X

Bobarella

I am so sorry to hear about OH'S tax situation. I am self employed. Recently I recieved a letter saying I owe £256. I spoke to my accountant who assured me I didn't. He said a lot of people are getting these letters at the moment. Anyway they then went on to send me threatening letters about balif action
In the end my accountant called them and guess what it's gone away.
So my advice would be ask an accountant if they can give you a free assessment of the situation and if necessary then pay them to act for you. It's likely it won't cost you £600 to use their services so anything you did pay is a necessary evil.