I WILL get there!!

kirtsypoos

Well despite a blazing row with OH last night I managed to stay off the cigarettes! We had our very first door slamming row. Not ideal but I think it was needed. We aren't very good at communicating - or rather he isn't, when I want to talk about something it ends up being me talking at him rather than a conversation that he participates in, so I totally know what you mean with that one Kitten.

We are going to try and work at us, we both agreed that something isn't right, we just can't work out what it is - we were quite (brutally at times) honest with each other so hopefully it's a step in the right direction. I know we love each other, and when we are giggling and taking the mickey out of each other and having tickle fights we are fine, and everything seems rosy. Then he gets stroppy because he's tired and I am in pain and take everything he says the wrong way and we realise that we are papering over the cracks rather than fixing things.

Strangely though, we plan for the future all the time - our plans for 5 years time are more set than next week, and we never talk about us not being together then. I really hope we can fix it, we both really want to and that has to count for something, right?

I'll see how the next few weeks go but I have suggested counselling for us together, along with both of us having our regular counselling sessions so that will be the next step. He said I'm his World and his rock and he will do whatever is necessary to fix things so I'm trying to hold on to that.

In other news, I have made an extra PAD this morning which has taken me under £16K - by a penny :rotfl: and only until the BT fees hit the accounts, which will tip me back over to the tune of £132ish. Still, even with BT fees I'm on track to be under 16K before I turn 30. I'm holding on to that as my achievement of the month

Kitten868

Well 5 years in and sometimes he argues back! It always used to be me doing the argument alone. Any disagreement tends to go 'admit you're being a d' 'yes, I've been a d' 'well I'm sorry too as I overreacted and been a D' much easier than the sulking! Some men just don't go in for rows.
If therapy is something you both respond well too then that's a great idea
The thing is you want to clear the air about everything but it's really important to draw a line and move on - not dreg up all the reasons you've been upset to get upset every time.
Oh I just hate to know you've been so upset. I want to say the right thing to make you happy.
Rejigging the finances always makes me feel better and more in control. And under £16k is fantastic! Xxx

Bobarella

Great Kirsty you sound so positive again. Brilliant.

crazy_cat_lady

Kirsty :grouphug:
Me and my dh have been together for 14 years and we still argue - had a stinking row this evening again and he's gone out and we're not speaking. To my mind though the fact that you're still able to talk to each other is really positive. No relationship can be happy and rosy all of the time and anyone who says it is must be a liar.
This is your diary and you need to vent, so vent away. You don't sound like a bad person at all - not by any stretch. Life is bl00dy unfair sometimes and we're entitled to be !!!!!! off by it. I think your sister's behaviour is poor, but I also think that the rest of your family should say no to her as well. They've kind of allowed her to get away with it.
Life is all a matter of perspective though - you're a good person, you work hard and you care about people, and good things will come your way because you deserve them

kirtsypoos

Kitten - He hasn't started counselling yet but I've been in and out for years, and if it's the right therapist it really works for me. I have to be honest - I'm not so good at drawing a line under things, they play on my mind even after we've had a discussion about it - usually because in my mind it isn't resolved but OH refuses to talk about it further.

He's got man flu at the moment so is feeling very sorry for himself - I'm being patient with him as best I can although he's keeping me awake with the coughing so I have to take deep breaths!

Bob, I do feel more positive when I have other things under control - finances particularly. I suppose I am a bit of a control freak

CCL, thank you - I think both OH and I get quite negative sometimes and all we see about each other is the bad - it sounds horrible but we need to work out a way of seeing the good again, even when we aren't feeling particularly friendly towards each other :rotfl:
Hope you and DH are friends again so he can go and collect your freezer for you
I'm in 100% agreement about my sister - her behaviour is the way it is because people have allowed her to get away with it. She was my dads familys first baby in 25 years (in their minds, I didn't count as I wasn't 'his') so they have always spoilt her beyond belief, and she has a bit of an entitlement issue now. I have to be fair and say that my Uncle has never asked her for a penny and when the conversation has arisen he has always said he wouldn't want any money from her, but to me it's a respect and responsibility thing - I wouldn't have taken no for an answer, especially when he was struggling himself but the World is full of different people, and wouldn't it be boring otherwise?!

One of my best friends had her scan this morning - lovely clear pictures and all is well with the baby so that was lovely to hear and see

Keep struggling on I think, that's all I can really do

kirtsypoos

Hi all,

Just a quick check in - not much to report really.

I've put a few things on ebay so I'm waiting for them to finish to see what extra payment I can make with it, other than that it's just slowly slowly at the moment.

It's a big month with me turning 30 - I'd imagine there's some sort of family meal planned as my Dad accidentally dropped out that my Uncle and some family friends will be visiting (which I'm sure he got a dead arm from my mom for :rotfl:) and we are having a little party/housewarming on Easter Sunday which my friends and family are helping out with - everyone is bringing a dish or bottle so that will help and I've got a small budget for food and drinks - I want to enjoy it.

We are also having a patio door installed which is supposed to be done sometimes in the next fortnight so I'm looking forward to that - it will be a relief as the dining room is the only non double glazed room and we have been desperate to get the patio door in since we moved in. I can't believe we have been living here for 17 weeks already!

OH and I are plodding along. Nothing much to tell - we have scrubbed the house from top to bottom so I feel better for having done that. The smell of bleach is soothing for my soul!

crazy_cat_lady

30th birthday!
I am hitting the last year of my 30s this month
Hope you're doing well xxx

Bobarella

That signature is looking fab Kirsty so close to the 50% paid off mark now!!!

kirtsypoos

I still don't know how I got to almost 30 to be honest CCL, I feel like I'm still 18!!

Thanks Bob - I should get to 50% in June hopefully, although as always I'm hoping for sooner

OH and I went to the cinema to see how to be single this evening - it was nice to get out and about - I feel so sick of being in the house and not doing anything except cooking and cleaning....I'm whining again!!

It was nice and I'll concentrate on that for now.

kirtsypoos

Happy Mothers Day to all the lovely mums on here

I've decided to do another update to try and encourage me....this will be the last one before I update with BT fees etc so I'll do another update in April:

August 2014 - £29400.23
July 2015 - £25131.49
October 2015 - £20253.14
December 2015 - £18600.00
Start of January 2016 - £17830.00
End of January 2016 - £16900.00
End of Feb 2016 - £15970.00

Paid off £13430.23 total since August 2014!
£9161.49 of that has been since July 2015!