sharing houses and selfish people

barnaby-bear

melancholly wrote: »

if someone moves into a shared house, then you agree to share. if after moving in someone decides to go away a lot, you can't then start saying you'll share differently - as i've said before, you can only be in the house for 2 days a week but if you're in all day, you use more electricty than people who are every night only to sleep. you wouldn't ask BT to let you off your line rental when you were on holiday!

Maybe she assumes it's ok to have the heating on since she uses less gas/hot water/cooks less/makes less mess. If she's there very little she's subsidising you having a kitchen shared between less people. Give and take, see the positives. OK so maybe she likes to return to a warm room but in return you get more time to use the bathroom, and less mess and more access to the kitchen. Would it be ok if she had the heating on but was there more? Trying to diddle the bill is out of order, ok so she's not there and you thing shouldn't get discounts but she could say in return ok to have heating on as if she is there all the time as if was there as she's paying for everyhting else as if she was.

melancholly

i'm going to put this as clearly as i can:
the whole house is in agreement that it is not cold enough to have the heating on. no-one has objected to the heating being turned off.

the bills comment was made during a rant - i wouldn't do that on my own anyway. and cooking for 10 mins for a few evenings a week does not cancel out heating half the hosue - do you know how much gas bills are?!?!

if the whole house turns the central heating off as it isn't that cold, then is is not the responsibility of people in individual rooms to turn off radiators on the off-chance that someone wants to put the heating on without telling them. all they had to do was mention it, and all would have been fine. it's all fine anyway now, and i really resent being painted as some money grabbing cow who is trying to make money off other housemates.

melancholly

barnaby-bear wrote: »

If her attic room is cold

and at no point have a used the term 'attic' - it is not in an attic, it is the top floor of the house, with three bedrooms and a bathroom. the attic is above it.

i can't understand why the attitude of so many posters has become so confrontational in the last few months..... it certainly isn't the same as it was a year ago and that is a shame.

tomstickland

I shared flats and lodgings when I was at university and never had any issues - it was a bunch of easy going people who found the balance. If someone counts their peas every day you think they're a bit too uptight. A bit of give and take is often required. Like paying the bill in a restaurant it requires that all parties are being reasonable and not trying to take advantage.
Having said that, I live on my own now and it means I can keep things as tidy or messy as I like, which is a luxury I appreciate. Along with only turning the heating on when I really need it.

barnaby-bear

melancholly wrote: »

it's all fine anyway now, and i really resent being painted as some money grabbing cow who is trying to make money off other housemates.

You were talking about faking the split of bills. nuff said. £15 for one less person sharing the kitchen/bathroom majority of the time sounds like a bargain.

peter999

jenevieve wrote: »

...but will start my own thread for advice & tips.

Thanks x

:eek:

peter999

peter999

It's all in the psychology.

Everyone who's shared a house knows there will be little problems, sharing out bills, food disappearing from fridge, people taking the mickey.

Then someone will decide to try & organise things, cleaning, money for bills etc, which will inevitably end in tears, as someone refuses to cooperate, is too busy or is too scatter brained to be organised.

peter999

CB1979_2

fairdo's melancholly, end of the day i don't care I don't share with you, you do what you like.

all i'm saying is, just because 3 of you say the house isn't cold enough it means someone can't have the heating on.

it may not be cold enough for you but something like that is determined by the person, it isn't a matter of, "can you do washing on wednesdays" etc. it's quite a personal thing IMO.

as you say you've sorted it out amicably (not by asking her first though, you just went ahead and turned it off) but you've sorted it out [STRIKE]your way[/STRIKE], sorry "as a household"

oh and windows that are'nt double glazed often lose more heat than those that are double glazed

and if her floor has more effecient radiators then surely it's even less of a big deal??

for all you know you could've just ruined her marijuana crop, now that's selfish!:rotfl:

melancholly

i really think the point of this thread has been lost in the (largely insignificant) details - it's all about showing consideration for other people you live with. if anyone decided, mid-winter, to turn the heating off without mentioning it, or moved in their OH, without checking if people were ok with it, or changed the alarm code without telling everyone the new one, or decided to remove wet laundry before it was clean or basically did anything that had an impact on other people without at least having the courtesy to tell them (let alone ask!), it would be rubbish for everyone else!

it's not about whether there are some delicate flowers who can't put a jumper on and need to have the house at a tropical temperature, or whether there are others who are militant fuel effiency buffs who won't put the heating on unless there is frost inside the windows!

shared living is cheaper - but it shouldn't be because some people are happy to freeload of the rest of the household. after nearly a decade of houseshares (when i'm not an undergrad student who has a 'home' somewhere else - this house is my home!), i've lived with plenty of people who seem to think it's ok to get other people to subsidise their lifestyles.... i would never dream of dictating what days people could use a washing machine (really don't get that jibe from CB1979), and would not have presumed to know about cold air leaking through the window frames of old sash windows if i hadn't been in this house. and just FYI - i would have asked about turning off the heating had anyone else been in the house!

i guess i'm glad that on the whole i do live with like-minded people who were all equally surprised and frustrated that we would all be paying to heat an empty house. and that i don't live with some of the people who have either been mentioned or have posted on this thread!

olly300

peter999 wrote: »

It's all in the psychology.

Everyone who's shared a house knows there will be little problems, sharing out bills, food disappearing from fridge, people taking the mickey.

Then someone will decide to try & organise things, cleaning, money for bills etc, which will inevitably end in tears, as someone refuses to cooperate, is too busy or is too scatter brained to be organised.

peter999

Actually it's a maturity thing. As you get older and the people who you share with get older they are less likely to nick things, not clean up after themselves, or do things without telling/asking.