sharing houses and selfish people

daphne_descends

melancholly wrote: »

sorry - was a bit tetchy about the whole thing yesterday i never really expected so many replies...... i just keep dreaming about living on my own (or with OH but that's a whole different kettle of fish)!

I can honestly appreciate how you feel - with my housemate, I started looking at studios and 1 bed flats after a few months. I would've been spending about 60% of my salary on rent but it was sooo tempting.

Actually if I could turn back the clock I probably would do. If you can afford it - even at a bit of stretch - I'd encourage it. Never sharing ever again in my life, ever ever ever!

jenevieve

I've read this thread with interest as am considering house-sharing after 7 years of living alone but will start my own thread for advice & tips.

Thanks x

CB1979_2

lol - you are proper unreasonable, end of the day she's on her own floor, and is cold, let her have the heating on, turn it off when she ain't there for a couple days.

turn off all the other radiators so just her room gets warmed.

sorry but if someone tried to tell me that i could only have the heating on between November & February and for 4 hours a day, i'd tell them to get to fuk and would be equally pedantic about everything else.

sure she shouldn't have the heating on when she's not there, she shouldn't have the other rooms heating on either, but I'm assuming she's being more lazy/ignorant of the heating system than being selfish about it.

my g/f feels the cold like no other, if she's cold she'll put a jumper on or whatever but if she wants the heating on she has it on, and then i just chuck some shorts on.

housesharing is about give & take, but it seems it's only fine as long as it coincides with your feelings about the situation.

what would've happened if she had come to you and said "look guys I'm absolutely freezing up there, can i have the heating on?"

judging by your reaction you would've said "fine an hour should do it"

I'm assuming as there's 3 of you on one floor, you're more likely to use more communal lighting than she does on her own, so no doubt you'd be compensating her for that??

melancholly

CB1979 wrote: »

lI'm assuming she's being more lazy/ignorant of the heating system than being selfish about it.

lazy/ignorant/selfish - all show a lack of thinking for the rest of the people who have to pay! either way, a courtesy mention would have sufficed!

and if indeed i did feel that the one communal (energy saving) light on my floor meant i was making other people pay too much, then i'd mention it. but as they have to use it so they don't walk up the stairs in the dark, strangely enough it has never been mentioned.

there's a difference between asking for people to be considerate and being a pedant! (and if she had wanted the heating on constantly in august, i would have said it was fine as long as she was prepared to pay! but it's not up to me - it's up to the whole house - a point you seem to have missed!).

barnaby-bear

melancholly wrote: »

lazy/ignorant/selfish - all show a lack of thinking for the rest of the people who have to pay! either way, a courtesy mention would have sufficed!

and if indeed i did feel that the one communal (energy saving) light on my floor meant i was making other people pay too much, then i'd mention it. but as they have to use it so they don't walk up the stairs in the dark, strangely enough it has never been mentioned.

there's a difference between asking for people to be considerate and being a pedant! (and if she had wanted the heating on constantly in august, i would have said it was fine as long as she was prepared to pay! but it's not up to me - it's up to the whole house - a point you seem to have missed!).

If she's only there 3 days out of 7 does she pay less than half the rest of you for water, hot water, lighting, gas because she'll be taking less showers, running fewercomputers, keeping less food in the fridge and using the cooker less. I imagine you'll need a cleaning rota too so she does less as she'll use the loo less and shed less skin as there less.

barnaby-bear

CB1979 wrote: »

lol - you are proper unreasonable, end of the day she's on her own floor, and is cold, let her have the heating on, turn it off when she ain't there for a couple days.

turn off all the other radiators so just her room gets warmed.

sorry but if someone tried to tell me that i could only have the heating on between November & February and for 4 hours a day, i'd tell them to get to fuk and would be equally pedantic about everything else.

sure she shouldn't have the heating on when she's not there, she shouldn't have the other rooms heating on either, but I'm assuming she's being more lazy/ignorant of the heating system than being selfish about it.

my g/f feels the cold like no other, if she's cold she'll put a jumper on or whatever but if she wants the heating on she has it on, and then i just chuck some shorts on.

housesharing is about give & take, but it seems it's only fine as long as it coincides with your feelings about the situation.

what would've happened if she had come to you and said "look guys I'm absolutely freezing up there, can i have the heating on?"

judging by your reaction you would've said "fine an hour should do it"

I'm assuming as there's 3 of you on one floor, you're more likely to use more communal lighting than she does on her own, so no doubt you'd be compensating her for that??

It's likely to be colder in a roof space on the top floor - I've lived in an attic and temperatures soar and plummet like being in the desert, you are effectively the roof space insulation. I'd be wondering why two boilers in the first place sounds like that top floor/roof space must warrent an extra heating system.

CB1979_2

but seriously if only her rad is on and all the others, and is set at a decent temperature, it's hardly gonna be using much now is it.

how long does it take for a single radiator to get up to temperature before the thermostat then tells the boiler to switch off again.

oh don't forget to charge her more for electricity as well, cos no doubt the boiler being on will use more electricity also, screw her over good and proper!

melancholly

if we had a nice efficient heating system with a thermostat that would be nice!! it's an old house, victorian, high ceilings - never 'hot' without the fire on (fire only in one room and we share the coal bill, for all who require proof that i'm not some sadist wanting to get every penny out of other people!)! the two boiler system is some legacy from the house being run with the top floor as a separate flat years ago - it's not the most efficient way to do it! the top floor is also the warmest floor (bizarrely); has less windows, which are all old and not double glazed so loses less heat. it also has modern radiators, unlike my floor where the radiators are due to be changed soon. also, top floors are often warmer due to old hot air rising thing!

if someone moves into a shared house, then you agree to share. if after moving in someone decides to go away a lot, you can't then start saying you'll share differently - as i've said before, you can only be in the house for 2 days a week but if you're in all day, you use more electricty than people who are every night only to sleep. you wouldn't ask BT to let you off your line rental when you were on holiday!

we don't go around working out who uses what percentage of electricty, with computers versus tvs versus mobile phone chargers or any other electrical things you can think of. you just know not to do things like run an electric heater in your room for hours on end as that would be wasteful - all i'm saying is consideration is a good thing!


i really don't understand all the negative posts - i'm not trying to screw anyone over, i just don't see the point in heating an empty house every day? i also resent paying for someone else to decide the heat only their part of the house every day! there are a lot of assumptions being made about the situation and the house set up and about my behaviour/personality - we've all sorted it out amicably.

melancholly

CB1979 wrote: »

but seriously if only her rad is on

but it is all the radiators on that floor - if you're going to start being pretty rude to me, feel free, but at least read previous posts and get facts right first.

barnaby-bear

melancholly wrote: »

but it is all the radiators on that floor - if you're going to start being pretty rude to me, feel free, but at least read previous posts and get facts right first.

How's that her fault - it's whoever is/isn't renting the rooms responsibility to turn the others off. If her attic room is cold she can't help if there are empty rooms with radiatorsleft on in them, ask the landlord to turn them off.