sharing houses and selfish people

Melissa177

melancholly wrote: »

the difference in costs is that we have used in under months more than we used in 3 months - but that really isn't the point (and if it hadn't been noticed it would have been a lot more). if someone is that cold that they want the heating on, then they should indeed communicate that to the rest of the house and then we'll heat the whole house as we all have to pay the bill. also, if someone is out a lot, then putting it on the timer to be on every day is, in my opinion selfish - and very different to sticking the heating on for an hour when they're freezing!

as far as splitting electricty goes, we split it equally regardless. i am away for about a week of every month and other people are here 'all the time' but work for 12 hours a day so are rarely in the house so use any electricity. we have all talked about this and agreed. when someone was away for a month in winter, they turned the radiator off in their bedroom and they didn't pay the gas bill for that month.

C'mon, you're not telling me that you need to have a house debate before one of your decides to turn the heating on, are you?


I do think it's inconsiderate to leave the heating on in your room when you're away all day, but now it's starting to sound a bit petty.


I used to live with a girl who counted every last penny. I'd get requests like "You owe me 12p because I bought a pint of milk, split between three, that's 12p each". Never mind the fact I rarely use milk.

I cured that eventually when she asked if she could have a slice of my bread. "Sure, go for it," I enthused. Just as she tucked into her piece of toast five mins later, I asked for 6 pence to cover the cost. She saw the funny side, fortunately.

wherediditallgo

Melissa177 wrote: »

I used to live with a girl who counted every last penny. I'd get requests like "You owe me 12p because I bought a pint of milk, split between three, that's 12p each". Never mind the fact I rarely use milk.

I cured that eventually when she asked if she could have a slice of my bread. "Sure, go for it," I enthused. Just as she tucked into her piece of toast five mins later, I asked for 6 pence to cover the cost. She saw the funny side, fortunately.

Good. It's much better when people buy their own food - we get the same thing at work where some people have a kitty to buy tea, coffee, milk & sugar. "You should put more in the kitty because you have X number of cups a day, when I only have one" is heard somewhere in the building nearly every week, not forgetting the heavy hints about whose turn it is to go & get the supplies. I can't be doing with it, so I stay out of the kitty nonsense & just bring my own in from home or from the shops on the way to work.

melancholly

Melissa177 wrote: »

C'mon, you're not telling me that you need to have a house debate before one of your decides to turn the heating on, are you?

not a debate, no, but if someone is going to do it, they just have to tell everyone! we do all decide how many hours the heating will be on each day in the winter - it depends on how often we're in the house and how cold people are, things like that. it usually works better to all agree to something, then no-one does anything on their own which can make things difficult.

i really can't afford an extra £15 on the gas bill because of someone else - i'm not trying to be petty, but not everyone understands how tight other people's budgets are! i would much prefer to be in a warm house, but i have to live within my means! gas prices have rocketed in the last 2 years, and often people moving into such a big house underestimate the cost as they don't realise just how many radiators there are.

and we did all sit down and discuss what would happen when someone was away for a full month (6 weeks in fact) - they wanted it to be all clear well in advance what they would and wouldn't have to pay for. far better than everyone assumiing different things and having to deal with it when the bill arrives. we did the same thing when someone's OH moved in temporarily - worked out what everyone thought was fair and then it all worked fine. at the same time we talked out people being in the house/away/out at work and decided that we simply couldn't split that fairly. it was to make sure that no-one felt like they were being hard done by.

i've been in shared houses for far too many years now, and this is the best way that i've found it to work (and not even my idea to have house meetings, like that when i came here) - it's not perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better than just hoping everyone sees things the same way as you!

RabbitMad

What a nest of pent up frustration the OP's stirred up.

I am glad to say that I never had such issues when I shared at uni, but then sharing with people who have a similar out look on life helps. (either that or 'cos we was all blokes)

Anyway I quite like the sound of the girl who had the heating on all the time then walked around in her just her vest (assuming she was fit)

daphne_descends

melancholly wrote: »

which is exactly how we did deal with it. i came on here just after finding out and had a rant - and i said it was a rant! i would never deal with the person like that but i was pretty annoyed and needed to vent!! i don't want to start a huge arguement with any housemate but i was entitied to be annoyed and now it is all dealt with, very 'sensitively' and carefully. don't take a kneejerk rant as an indicator of how the issue was finally resolved!

i don't want anyone to think i went charging in and shouted at the girl! i was more annoyed that i like her and get on with her and i didn't want to fall out over this, and that i really didn't expect it from her, given discussions in the house that we've all had!

all sorted now - heating off - and anyone who wants to put it on (me included) will make sure that they check with/inform the rest of the house.

I didn't mean to suggest that you shouldn't vent - your thread has triggered so many responses it's clear that most people here are in agreement at how annoying the little things can be - and I DO think your housemate was taking the proverbial.

I shared a house with my best friend - known each other since school - had NO idea she was messy - and I mean filthy - and awful to live with. The heating controls were in her room and I woke up one morning in winter at 5am to find it on, and had been on all night. She would turn the oven on to cook something, and the next thing I'd know a takeaway would turn up and the oven would be turned off. She never turned lights off. She didn't clean the house once in an entire year. She broke my only nice glasses and promised to replace them - never did. She lost CD's and 'borrowed' books of mine that I never saw again. She stole alcohol from me almost whenever I had any. She left washing up for days until I'd end up doing it.

I was honestly so surprised by her as it all started to unfold that I never said anything. Stupid me. We haven't spoken since she moved out 18 months ago.

Glad you got things sorted!

NekoZombie

Hmmm, I can see both sides of the argument here. I used to have a housmate who would turn off the heating if he didn't agree with it being on, or would turn off the washing machine. He was actually proud when we once had a leccy bill for £5. It always annoyed me though - I figure if you're going to live in a shared house you need to recognise that people won't always live according to your standards, and that includes electricity/gas usage.

Melissa177

Turn off the washing machine? Like, mid-cycle?

melancholly

NekoZombie wrote: »

Hmmm, I can see both sides of the argument here. I used to have a housmate who would turn off the heating if he didn't agree with it being on, or would turn off the washing machine. He was actually proud when we once had a leccy bill for £5. It always annoyed me though - I figure if you're going to live in a shared house you need to recognise that people won't always live according to your standards, and that includes electricity/gas usage.

if i ever got that bad my OH would beat me!! i guess my whole point/rant is that as long as there's a majority ruling, then everything is fine - one person taking things into their own hands is the problem (and someone turning the washing machine off with stuff in it would equally sent me livid!! but then, if it's not in use, it can be turned off rather than being on standby to save another 2/3p )

melancholly

fac73 wrote: »

I didn't mean to suggest that you shouldn't vent - your thread has triggered so many responses it's clear that most people here are in agreement at how annoying the little things can be - and I DO think your housemate was taking the proverbial.

sorry - was a bit tetchy about the whole thing yesterday i never really expected so many replies...... i just keep dreaming about living on my own (or with OH but that's a whole different kettle of fish)!

NekoZombie

Melissa177 wrote: »

Turn off the washing machine? Like, mid-cycle?

Yep mid cycle. I used to work as a chef, so used the washing machine a lot as your whites need to be washed everytime. I once turned it back on at 02.30 am and he knocked on my door saying I was being unreasonable. I responded by saying if he hadn't turned it off mid-cycle, it would have been done earlier. Of course, he reported me to the landlord. I should point out that he hadn't gone to bed - he was still watching T.V. so it was hardly like I was stopping him sleeping,