Why do people think less of a couple who aren't married?

missbiggles1

Piggywiggy wrote: »

I struggle to see how getting married simply for financial reasons would make you more committed. If anything it can mean you stay with someone who you don't love because you will lose so much in a divorce.

People make the mistake of equating commitment with love when actually it's much wider than that and possibly more important.

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

How so?

.

Nobody suggests that people become more commited as a result of marriage, as I say, it's the other way round.

missbiggles1

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

How backward.

I would never work for a company with a backward policy, though I doubt they'd refuse the leave in real life (if they did there would most certainly have been news stories about it)

I love how father in law comes before spouse.

You don't seriously think that list was in order of importance, do you?:rotfl:

Buzzybee90

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You don't seriously think that list was in order of importance, do you?:rotfl:

No, of course not, just an odd choice of order.

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Nobody suggests that people become more commited as a result of marriage, as I say, it's the other way round.

Sorry missbiggles, I'm still not understanding what you mean? You're saying people are becoming less committed as a result of marriage?

Somebody in this thread actually said that they were more committed to their partner after they were married than before. Personally, I thought that was quite a strange thing to say.

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Sorry missbiggles, I'm still not understanding what you mean? You're saying people are becoming less committed as a result of marriage?

Somebody in this thread actually said that they were more committed to their partner after they were married than before. Personally, I thought that was quite a strange thing to say.

No, what I'm saying (and I know that many won't agree) that people who are more committed marry, not that the greater commitment comes from being married. That's what I meant about its being the wrong way round.

duchy

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Nobody suggests that people become more commited as a result of marriage, as I say, it's the other way round.

Well...........

It's certainly easier to leave a once committed relationship than a marriage from a legal standpoint -no divorce needed.

I've had three completely committed relationships in my life -I married the man in two of them and am engaged to the third.
If a man didn't want to marry I'd wonder what was stopping them fully committing to me legally as well as emotionally -and genuinely can't think of any reason that would be good enough for them not to except they weren't sure of the relationship

I've never said I wanted to be married to any of them - the proposal came from them entirely unprompted .

onlyroz

I don't think marriage in itself is about commitment and love, and you can be equally committed as a couple both with and without it. Marriage is simply an institution designed to provide the most stable legal unit for a couple wanting to share their lives and possibly raise children. To me it is the logical final step for a committed couple to take, and can be taken with as much or little fanfare as you like. I respect the right of people to not take this step, and I am sure that you can be as equally in love and committed whether you take the step or not, but it is without doubt the easiest and cheapest way to ensure that you, your partner and your children are protected should any unforeseen events occur.

For those of you who decide not to marry, I strongly you to make sure that your affairs are in order regarding your joint assets, wills, power of attorney, pensions, life insurance policies etc etc.

Pollykins

PasturesNew wrote: »

Unmarried says to me "X wants to marry Y; Y doesn't really want to marry X; X pretends they don't need a bit of paper; Y just nods while looking over X's shoulder at what else might be available". X won't push it ...secretly they daren't as they know Y would be off like a shot.

Agreed, as above, presumptuous. My OH and I have been together for 16 years without marrying and couldn't be happier. No "looking over the shoulder at what else might be available".

duchy

onlyroz wrote: »

I don't think marriage in itself is about commitment and love,

And you are perfectly entitled to think that way...... What you are not entitled to do is tell other people that you are right and they are wrong. If you don't equate marriage with commitment and love -then that is fine for you but everyone isn't the same so some people won't feel as you do -and are equally entitled to feel the way they do without anyone snipping at them.