Why do people think less of a couple who aren't married?

Torry_Quine

Judi wrote: »

What do you prefer to be called then? Just curious.

I have to say though, i do like being a 'Mrs'.

Obviously I prefer for him to be called my husband and for me to be called his wife.

melanzana

Each to their own IMV.

Well I would say that wouldn't I?

Been with OH for donkey's years. BUT, we each have our own houses and do not live together full time (recipe for a GREAT relationship!!). Every meet up and weekend over is like a date. Mad I know.

Never wanted to marry. I've seen too many people I know who've been together for years finally tie the knot, and then bam, divorced or separated within a few years.

I'm happy with my lot, so is OH. We don't need a ceremony or piece of paper, trite as that sounds. But some day, hopefully before one of us pops clogs we may just do the legal bit. But our wills leave most things to our nieces and nephews anyway, so why bother. We are lucky to be financially independent ourselves.

Might need a re think on that some day. More for next of kin issues TBH. But for now, it's all good. If I didn't have a lovely man like OH, I would be in the same position now wouldn't I? That's the way we look at it.

And if a miracle happened and we did do the legal bit I would still be known as the name I am now. No need to change anything re bills, passports and all the rest of it. Don't see a problem there myself.

Gillyx

Myself and my OH have been together for 6.5 years and have a 3 year old son. Thankfully my name is on his life insurance policy as partner and his on mine also as partner.. His employment life insurance also accept me as a civil partner. I have absolutely no interest in marriage, watching my own parents separate has put me off.

If we're taken less seriously as a couple because we're not married, that's up to however feels that way. I'm secure in my relationship and most of all we're happy.

coolcait

melanzana wrote: »

Each to their own IMV.

Well I would say that wouldn't I?

Been with OH for donkey's years. BUT, we each have our own houses and do not live together full time (recipe for a GREAT relationship!!). Every meet up and weekend over is like a date. Mad I know.

Never wanted to marry. I've seen too many people I know who've been together for years finally tie the knot, and then bam, divorced or separated within a few years.

I'm happy with my lot, so is OH. We don't need a ceremony or piece of paper, trite as that sounds. But some day, hopefully before one of us pops clogs we may just do the legal bit. But our wills leave most things to our nieces and nephews anyway, so why bother. We are lucky to be financially independent ourselves.

Might need a re think on that some day. More for next of kin issues TBH. But for now, it's all good. If I didn't have a lovely man like OH, I would be in the same position now wouldn't I? That's the way we look at it.

And if a miracle happened and we did do the legal bit I would still be known as the name I am now. No need to change anything re bills, passports and all the rest of it. Don't see a problem there myself.

I think the BiB is a very strong reason for having the bit of paper which confers that right.


Unfortunately, we don't always know in advance exactly when we're going to need those 'next of kin' rights. Life, illness, and death aren't so predictable.

Even more generally, once again I'm intrigued by things which have been said on this thread.


I completely accept that people are happy with the way their relationship is running, without being married.


Why would that change, just because a couple got married?


Also, why are people put off the idea of getting married, because marriage didn't work for their parents, or siblings, or friends?


How does 'marriage' make a couple more likely to break up? After all, people who are in a committed, but unmarried, relationships also break up.

missbiggles1

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Of course it doesn't, mine says spouse or partner, Roz's has obviously used partner to cover all. No sane person would ask someone who had just lost their other half to work.

We're not discussing whether people actually go to work or not but whether they get (paid) compassionate leave.

missbiggles1

Jagraf wrote: »

I get your point, but I am married and for various reasons I still call myself by my ex husbands surname as its more convenient. I use a mixture of Miss, Mrs and Ms. There doesn't seem to be a nice word for other halves, perhaps because it is a relatively new concept and the husband and wife importance hasn't quite gone yet. Maybe I. The future the same word will be used, in the same way as we now use hairdresser instead of barber and hairdresser.

Sorry to nitpick but we don't. Hairdressers (for men) exist alongside barbers but they're often quite different types of establishments.

missbiggles1

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I don't know, it would depend on the situation. However, I imagine the person who would grant the leave in the first instance would most likely know themselves, or through talking to colleagues, whether the person had a serious partner.

You mean they'd ask for a show of hands to see whether the relationship is considered committed enough?

missbiggles1

Gillyx wrote: »

Myself and my OH have been together for 6.5 years and have a 3 year old son. Thankfully my name is on his life insurance policy as partner and his on mine also as partner.. His employment life insurance also accept me as a civil partner. I have absolutely no interest in marriage, watching my own parents separate has put me off.

If we're taken less seriously as a couple because we're not married, that's up to however feels that way. I'm secure in my relationship and most of all we're happy.

Sorry - it's the nitpicker again!:o

You can only be a civil partner if you're in a same sex civil partnership which, given your username and the fact you use the word "his", isn't the case.

I'll pack my nits up now and shuffle off to bed.:)

duchy

Of course some people prefer not to discuss their private lives at work. I've worked with people who I had no idea if they were married, single or anything in between.

A show of hands wouldn't be much use in that situation

Gloomendoom

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You can only be a civil partner if you're in a same sex civil partnership which, given your username and the fact you use the word "his", isn't the case.

You can only be a civil partner if you have the "piece of paper" to prove it.