Why do people think less of a couple who aren't married?

Buzzybee90

Mojisola wrote: »

How do these companies define 'partner'? If you've been going out with someone for a couple of weeks, would that count?

I don't know, it would depend on the situation. However, I imagine the person who would grant the leave in the first instance would most likely know themselves, or through talking to colleagues, whether the person had a serious partner.

BarryBlue

Judi wrote: »

Who cares what other people think. If your happy together not being married then stuff the rest.

Absolutely. It is nobody else's business. You can be in an equally committed and happy relationship whether you are married or not. Why would it make any difference to anyone else?

As I've said previously, we got married after 20 years because it suited us for legal and financial reasons. It made no difference to our lives in any other way. But that's the way we feel about it.

corf999 wrote: »

A old family contract system hijacked by religion isn't appealing to me.

It's only hijacked by religion if you allow it to be. Marriage is actually nothing to do with religion. A Register Office ceremony specifically prohibits any religious content.

TBagpuss

BarryBlue wrote: »

We were together for over 20 years before we got married and it has made little difference to us or the way people regard our relationship. We didn't even tell most of our friends until we had done the deed and had a very quiet do with minimum fuss.

Our reasoning for finally getting married was related to pensions, inheritance, next-of-kin and other legal matters. It has made no difference to our relationship or how we conduct our lives. My wife didn't even bother changing her name.

We regard marriage as no big deal, it's just a legal matter at the end of the day. We wouldn't dream of regarding our unmarried friends as having a 'lesser' relationship to those who are married.

This is similar to my aunt and uncle. They were together for about 18 years, and had 2 children before they married, they got married largely because they discovered that (i) they needed some hugely complex paperwork to allow my aunt to benefit under some life ad health cover my uncle was entitled to through work, whereas if they were married it was all automatic and (ii) following my grandmas death they had been looking into the implications of one of them dying.

The wedding was quiet, they then had a big, informal party which was a lot of fun, and everything else carried on as normal. My aunt and the children kept their names (my uncle answers to 'Mr Aunts-Surname' as well as to his own name, as people do make assumptions)

I thin sometimes people are wary about getting married if they have had bad experiences in the past. My sister was married 2 years ago - she and my BIL has been together for 10 years at that point. My best friend married last year after 9 years together.

My BIL had been married once before (very briefly, and very unhappily) My best friend had been married once before, briefly and unhappily.
In my best friend's case I can say that I took her relationship with her current husband more seriously, even during the 9 years they were together but unmarried, than I ever did her relationship with her first husband, even when they were married, as it was, and is, so obviously a much stronger, healthier and happier relationship.

j.e.j.

Domayne wrote: »

The majority of people are nosy f**ks and think they have some kind of right to dictate how others live their lives. Who cares what they think, it's not like they will pay your bills for you

You're still sore about those blokes on the train, aren't you :rotfl:

j.e.j.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I get annoyed when my husband is referred to as my partner and do corect people.

I don't like the term partner, either.

husband / fiance / boyfriend is fine.

System

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I get annoyed when my husband is referred to as my partner and do corect people.

What do you prefer to be called then? Just curious.

I have to say though, i do like being a 'Mrs'.

Domayne

j.e.j. wrote: »

You're still sore about those blokes on the train, aren't you :rotfl:

:rotfl:No, not really.
But they were a good example of nosy f**ks too who have nothing better to do than worry about someone elses life and what they choose to do or not do with it!

Tigsteroonie

One of the best terms I heard for a committed partner was "my posslq" - Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters

j.e.j.

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

One of the best terms I heard for a committed partner was "my posslq" - Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters

You'll have the PC brigade after you..

Gays would need a PiSSRLT

Person in same sex relationship living together

lincroft1710

Have been "not married" to "Mrs" Lincroft for over 20 years.