Thinking of leaving my husband

moneysaver12

Our dog has been with us for over seven years, we can't just get rid him, he is part of our family and it's not his fault he shreds lots of dog hairs. also I can't make him live outside I would find that mean

lostinrates

moneysaver12 wrote: »

Hi thank you for the replies they have given me things,to think about. I have,suggested to my husband that we have a date night on Saturday once,our boys are in bed. Have told my husband I love him and how I apricate how hard he,works and given him a hug. it's good to get perspective from other people. Made me realise I need to try harder.

Not just try harder, maybe refocus and restructure a little so its not so hard at times, or less stressful when it is hard.

19lottie82

moneysaver12 wrote: »

Thank you lottie
the,poster seems,to think they know all about my past. I must have imagined the,black eyes, the panic button in my house after my ex tried to set me on fire and strangle me, the attempted rape, I could go on but I won't

Don't feel you need to explain yourself OP. That poster is a disgrace to the board. I'm fuming on your behalf.

Double_V

To me it looks like you moan.
Like others have mentioned leave him when he's working.

Also you love/fancy him and yet you want a divorce.

Mojisola

moneysaver12 wrote: »

Made me realise I need to try harder.

lostinrates wrote: »

Not just try harder, maybe refocus and restructure a little so its not so hard at times, or less stressful when it is hard.

I agree with lostinrates - you shouldn't have to work harder because that's the problem - work smarter and give yourself and your OH space to be a couple.

Whether you go for paid childcare or a cleaner or a support group for ADHD kids (or all of them), you need to lighten the pressure so that you can start enjoying life with your good husband.

heartbreak_star

warmhands.coldheart wrote: »

Get rid of the dog then or keep it outside..... Problem sorted !!

Why do people make things hard for themselves and then complain about it...

moneysaver12 wrote: »

Our dog has been with us for over seven years, we can't just get rid him, he is part of our family and it's not his fault he shreds lots of dog hairs. also I can't make him live outside I would find that mean

I am so glad to hear you say your dog is part of the family, moneysaver12. It beggars belief to me that someone would advocate animal cruelty for one's own convenience.


HBS x

lostinrates

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I am so glad to hear you say your dog is part of the family, moneysaver12. It beggars belief to me that someone would advocate animal cruelty for one's own convenience.


HBS x

Agreed, however, if the dog hair/ vacuuming issue is getting her down maybe it needs to be part of the solution. Ground play for the boys being bedroom floors, for example, so vacuuming siting room can drop to less often.

pmlindyloo

I can totally understand where you are coming from.

It's not really about the housework or the looking after the kids. It is really about your feeling that all your husband does is work and takes no interest in the kids/arrangements for them/finances/decision making etc etc.

This can make you resentful and you are feeling that everything is down to you and your OH is just providing the money.

I am sorry to say that many partners are like this. It is usually because their job is very stressful and they are totally knack3ered at the end of the day. And of course, so are you! Relationships are rarely 50/50 in most cases and someone is usually the one holding it all together. In a way this often changes during the relationship, whether it is because the kids get older - dad taking the kids to football etc etc (and some dads find young ones difficult to relate to) or because the pressure of work eases - partner gets part time work - can afford a cleaner - less money worries/whatever.

As hard as it is, from what you say, there are still very good reasons to stay in your marriage.

Try to see it as part and parcel of a relationship. There will be bad times and good times. In the future there may be times when your OH has to take more responsibility and I'm sure he will. At the moment you are going to have to take on roles that you think he should play a part in. So be it. You will feel much better if you can accept this.

That is not to say that you can't have a moan! We are not perfect. Do try to take on board all of the suggestions given here, some really good ones.

Stop feelings resentful, put a smile on your face and be grateful for the good things.

warmhands.coldheart

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I am so glad to hear you say your dog is part of the family, moneysaver12. It beggars belief to me that someone would advocate animal cruelty for one's own convenience.


HBS x

Oh for pitty sake.. like I just mean go out and dump it somewhere!!! re-home it, it's hardly animal cruelty!!

As for keeping a dog outside all the time being cruel.. get a grip.. how exactly is that cruel??? Dogs are animals... They are a pet. I have a dog who has always been kept outside since a pup.... He never gets into the house because of the amount of hair he sheds. He's a fair old age now and has never had any issued outside. Discipline and training means he never just barks all the time.. (though he doesn't like the postman or people turning or walking up our drive).
People treating dogs like people and part of the family is not seen as a good thing in many dog training circles... they are a pack animal and if they get above their station that's when they attack or bite !!

warmhands.coldheart

19lottie82 wrote: »

Really? Just get rid of the dog? OK......

Or keep it outside? So just throw a dog into the garden 24/7? What about the neighbours if / when it starts barking to be let inside?

Pointless and pretty unhelpful post!

Yes, re-home it, it is that simple..... OP is talking about Divorce, splitting up a family because of on top of many other things all the issues causing her stress, the dog hair being one of them due to cleaning.... So lets see... Divorce or rehome the dog.... Hmmmmm tough choice !!