Getting kids to be more mindful around the house

nearlyrich

neneromanova wrote: »

This is genius a very modern answer to what is an age old issue.When you live in a family everyone should contribute what they can to the well-being of the family. Things like picking up your own rubbish and flushing the loo should be second nature in a 5 year old never mind children twice as old.

scaredlady

Alikay wrote: »

Do you really want them to be "mindful"? At 12 and 9? I think if they're doing what you ask of them in a reasonably timely fashion and without too much complaining then that's fair enough at that age - especially as they do their set chores. There is plenty of time for them to think like adults when they ARE adults, and if you can get hold of an up to date book on child development you'll what level of responsibility and autonomy they're capable of at that age: From what you say they seem perfectly normal developmentally to me and its your expectations which seem a little high, especially for the nine year old!

I'm sure someone will be along to say how they got up at 5, cleaned the house and chopped firewood, did a 10 hour shift down t'pit at that age, walked 5 miles home and then cooked dinner for the family , but I was pretty rubbish at that age unless I was given specific instructions as were my kids and most kids I've met.

Ref the loo when they have friends round if anyone uses the loo make sure everyone hears when you say please remember to flush after use, as xxxxxx always forgets and its not a nice thing to find. Or if it is xxxxxx using the loo shout very loudly remember to flush this time or I will have to call you back to do it, like I normally have to.
Take something away they like , use and say you can have this back after a week of new not nagging you.

stormbreaker

Sorry not read all the replies, just wish I had nagged my adult son a bit more and when I set goals, stuck to them. At 20, he is still the pits.

Good luck!

(On the plus side, he does not give me cause to worry, which pleases me more than a clean and tidy house would )

*Robin*

If it all gets too much, throw a kid-style tantrum. Including loud crocodile sobs of despair.

Only the densest five year old will need the threat of a repeat performance when their friends are watching.

meer53

notanewuser wrote: »

She's 4 and a half (going on 13).

ETA - I meant that I'm pathologically untidy myself.

I completely agree that lifes too short to sweat the small stuff, but i expect my daughter to be respectful. This to me, means looking after stuff, stuff that i work hard to pay for, and to also be respectful when in other peoples homes.

If she thinks it's okay to leave mess for other people to clear up then i've failed.

Newly_retired

The rot has already set in if they are not flushing the toilet at this age.

Don't buy anything with wrappers.
Don't provide tissues.
Insist , as they do at school, on clearing away one activity before getting another one out.
Use school routines as a "given".
I am blessed with a seven year old grandson who does all this without being asked, hates mess in the house, but he was taught from the outset to tidy up and it is second nature.

Jagraf

Newly_retired wrote: »

The rot has already set in if they are not flushing the toilet at this age.

Don't buy anything with wrappers.
Don't provide tissues.
Insist , as they do at school, on clearing away one activity before getting another one out.
Use school routines as a "given".
I am blessed with a seven year old grandson who does all this without being asked, hates mess in the house, but he was taught from the outset to tidy up and it is second nature.

I wouldn't call it rot. My DD has a friend who is 16 and she is OCD tidy. DD s too messy. I would say they are both not quite there yet :rotfl::rotfl:

Alikay

Newly_retired wrote: »

The rot has already set in if they are not flushing the toilet at this age.

Not at all....loo flushing is an easy one-step process to train. All you need is to be consistent and keep calling them back to do it, and repeating "we always flush and wash our hands after using the loo". If they're regularly NOT doing it at a given age, unless there's some defiance going on for some reason or a learning difficulty, then the training hasn't been assertive enough or consistent enough, or a temporary lapse has been allowed to establish.

FBaby

That's all very well when you constantly behind their back. I don't tend to monitor how and when they go to the toilet especially when they get up in the middle of the night. And of course you then get the it wasn't me but sibling line which of course you can't prove!

Alikay

FBaby wrote: »

That's all very well when you constantly behind their back. I don't tend to monitor how and when they go to the toilet especially when they get up in the middle of the night. And of course you then get the it wasn't me but sibling line which of course you can't prove!

But you are constantly around them at 2 or 3 when they start using the loo, and you're training them in the whole toileting routine. Night time flushing is a different matter - some families do, some don't because of waking others, and a toilet flushing can be scary noise to a small person using the loo alone in the dark.