I am in a mess and don't know what to do

[Deleted User]

Fri was a NSD and today has been until oh has come home with a takeaway. Cost £14.10. Wasn't too impressed but he had bought it to save me cooking

Gigervamp

uselessnow wrote: »

Fri was a NSD and today has been until oh has come home with a takeaway. Cost £14.10. Wasn't too impressed but he had bought it to save me cooking

This is one of the problems with him not knowing. Did he expect you to pay for it, even though it was his decision to get it?

[Deleted User]

No we have a joint account so money comes out of same pot

honey10

This is probably not going to make me popular, but here goes.

You have a million and one excuses why you can't do something. You haven't had your LBM yet.

If your husband will react that badly to discovering that you have debt that it might end your marriage, then I'm sorry, but imo, your marriage isn't made of very solid stuff.

Using an illness as an excuse makes you a patient, you really need to get out of the house and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

The road to debt-free won't be easy, but, it will be worth it.

You don't want to tell your husband, you can't work, you won't sell/remortgage the house, you won't downgrade the cars, how do you expect to clear £20,000 of debt without your husband finding out?
You are one emergency from not being able to make your payments.

You spend alot on petrol & bills etc, have you considered trying to get a cashback card (capitalone do one for bad credit)/ 1 2 3 account from Santander to offset this? Maybe use Topcashback to earn something back on those hotel bills?

Doing surveys online might bring a little extra in, especially if you're at home. Comping might be worth a couple of hours a day.
If you want to spend time stitching etc, have you thought about investing in a printer to print out free ones from the net?

Food shopping... have you considered approvedfoods.com? They sell treat type things, drinks, tins, store cupboard type stuff, some of it nearing the best before date, usually for pence on what you would spend in Tesco/Aldi etc
Ordering meat from an online butcher might be an idea, i use greatbritishmeat.com
Also, shopping online would save you petrol, and also stop impulse purchases.

Do you have a slow cooker? Thats great for batch cooking and using cheap cuts of meat.

Sorry if any of this sounds harsh, I'm just trying to help.

maria3104

I have been reading this post and I honestly think it is a spoof! Sorry but I do.

[Deleted User]

maria3104 wrote: »

I have been reading this post and I honestly think it is a spoof! Sorry but I do.

I hope if you ever come down with the illness I have that no one believes you!

[Deleted User]

Honey10
Thanks for mentioning slow cooker. I do have one but I haven't used it for awhile. I will dig it back out the cupboard and start using again.

I have been refused cashback cards when applied recently. Will keep trying.

Selling cars and home is not my decision.

As explained before most of petrol is oh because of his contracting work around the country

I go out when I am able to walk. I am looking at getting a wheelchair as I get worse

parsniphead

I don't think this is a spoof.

I have followed this thread from the beginning and feel that the op is almost frozen with the fear of the debt. We all have our ways of dealing with things and sometimes it takes longer for some folk than others. There has been some great advice from many posters on here and hopefully op you will find the strength to follow some of it.

Red-Squirrel_2

uselessnow wrote: »

I hope if you ever come down with the illness I have that no one believes you!

I notice that you haven't ever mentioned what your illness is. You don't have to of course, but its highly likely that at least one other person who reads this forum will have it too, or have experience of it, and might be able to offer more specific support and advice if they knew.

I don't think this is a spoof either, but I do think you need to be a bit careful about how you're communicating with people here, they aren't obligated to reply or to help you and they might just stop if all they get back is abrupt dismissive responses.

[Deleted User]

uselessnow wrote: »

I am a middle age female who has to live day to day life with an Autoimmune illness. It is sole destroying. A side effect of the illness is Depression. Every day is a battle and will be until the day I die.

Post #146 explaining my illness. I don't really want to go into in depth details about it.