I am in a mess and don't know what to do

[Deleted User]

Had a shock this morning, a payment had go out that I had forgotten about. The half yearly water bill.


I am now going to sit and work out a monthly budget. I can not cope with the sickness feeling when I look at the bank account.

19lottie82

uselessnow wrote: »

The underwear was needed. All mine had either fell to pieces or didn't fit anymore after losing some weight. .

No one is saying you can't buy new underwear when you need it, but there are cheaper options out there than M&S.

uselessnow wrote: »

Had a shock this morning, a payment had go out that I had forgotten about. The half yearly water bill.


I am now going to sit and work out a monthly budget. I can not cope with the sickness feeling when I look at the bank account.

I know you're stressed, but I really think you need to take further steps to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And to do this, you need to get your husband on board.

meer53

19lottie82 wrote: »

No one is saying you can't buy new underwear when you need it, but there are cheaper options out there than M&S.

I've just sold some branded underwear on ebay. Still had tags attached, new price would have been £28+ per bra. I got £8.00 for one and £11 for the other, bargain for someone and money in my account for stuff that has been sitting in my drawer !

I also buy underwear on ebay at a fraction of the full price, lots of shops sell at reduced prices, i hate paying full price for anything these days

[Deleted User]

I bought the underwear I always buy and know it will fit. It is worn now so won't be returned.

[Deleted User]

19lottie82 wrote: »

No one is saying you can't buy new underwear when you need it, but there are cheaper options out there than M&S.

Explained on post below


I know you're stressed, but I really think you need to take further steps to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And to do this, you need to get your husband on board.

Explained higher up in the thread!

Primula

Hi there, Just read through your diary and didn't want to just read and run. A spending diary is definitely a really good thing, as is only spending with cash, so don't put anything on the credit card or debit card, like food shopping, etc etc, just work out your budget for the month and take that money out in cash and put in little envelopes for each week and work really hard at not going over - it's a great feeling when you stay within budget. Re food, you could probably reduce it down from £200 per month by planning wisely and cooking from scratch, it can actually be fun setting a budget, so say £5 per day and absolutely sticking to it rigidly, it's amazing what you can come up with when you try and it's a great feeling knowing you've had healthy meals and they cost a fraction of they might otherwise have done had you not been on a budget. There are so many helpful people on the OS board too giving advice out. I also agree with others that you cannot give everything up completely, so you could allow yourself, say one meal out a month with friends and aim to go to places where good deals were on, e.g. 2 meals for a tenner, that type of thing, or you could suggest to friends that instead of going out as money is tight (don't be ashamed to say that), how about you take week about and have lunches at each other's houses? I mean you could make a nice big pan of tasty soup and panninis with bacon for a group of you for less than you would pay for one meal out for yourself. Then just pay what you can to the credit cards to get them down, every little DOES help, it might not feel like it now, but it really does, all the pennies making pounds, so even if you only have a spare £1.15 or something one day, pay that to the credit card. Good luck xx

19lottie82

uselessnow wrote: »

Explained higher up in the thread!

I understand your reasoning for not telling him, but you do realise that he will find out at some point?

[Deleted User]

19lottie82 wrote: »

I understand your reasoning for not telling him, but you do realise that he will find out at some point?

Explained higher up in the posts as to why I am not telling him

[Deleted User]

Primula wrote: »

Hi there, Just read through your diary and didn't want to just read and run. A spending diary is definitely a really good thing, as is only spending with cash, so don't put anything on the credit card or debit card, like food shopping, etc etc, just work out your budget for the month and take that money out in cash and put in little envelopes for each week and work really hard at not going over - it's a great feeling when you stay within budget. Re food, you could probably reduce it down from £200 per month by planning wisely and cooking from scratch, it can actually be fun setting a budget, so say £5 per day and absolutely sticking to it rigidly, it's amazing what you can come up with when you try and it's a great feeling knowing you've had healthy meals and they cost a fraction of they might otherwise have done had you not been on a budget. There are so many helpful people on the OS board too giving advice out. I also agree with others that you cannot give everything up completely, so you could allow yourself, say one meal out a month with friends and aim to go to places where good deals were on, e.g. 2 meals for a tenner, that type of thing, or you could suggest to friends that instead of going out as money is tight (don't be ashamed to say that), how about you take week about and have lunches at each other's houses? I mean you could make a nice big pan of tasty soup and panninis with bacon for a group of you for less than you would pay for one meal out for yourself. Then just pay what you can to the credit cards to get them down, every little DOES help, it might not feel like it now, but it really does, all the pennies making pounds, so even if you only have a spare £1.15 or something one day, pay that to the credit card. Good luck xx

I do cook from scratch every day unless OH suggests a takeaway. I have lunch out one day a week as a treat when I escape being trapped in the house. Friends do now I am short of money but still suggest we go out. They never invite anyone round to their houses. I am looking for adding small amounts of cash to the cards but it is more difficult as our local bank has closed and I now have to drive a 10 mile round trip to pay money in. No longer have a cheque book so can't post payments to them

ShirePiskie

uselessnow wrote: »

I do cook from scratch every day unless OH suggests a takeaway. I have lunch out one day a week as a treat when I escape being trapped in the house. Friends do now I am short of money but still suggest we go out. They never invite anyone round to their houses. I am looking for adding small amounts of cash to the cards but it is more difficult as our local bank has closed and I now have to drive a 10 mile round trip to pay money in. No longer have a cheque book so can't post payments to them

Hi. Maybe make it a bit clearer to your friends that you would much rather enjoy time with them and you could take turns 'hosting' lunch each week/ month.

You said you were looking at internet banking - once this is set up, you can make all your small additional payments using this - no petrol/ parking costs.

I'd suggest taking a look at the Skint Dad blog - he went through as stage of doing 'fakeaways' and putting up recipes where you create your own version of a takeaway for a fraction of the cost, and in some cases healthier. I'm also making an assumption that takeaways have the added cost of petrol to them if you live quite remotely.

You could tell your other half you're doing this for healthier eating reasons.

Lunch out - well I agree that you do need to do something for yourself, but if you're spending more than £5, consider an alternative. Over the summer make yourself up a little picnic - eg nice sandwiches, a scotch egg (my personal favourite), a salad box, summer fruits. Go for a walk, take a blanket, enjoy your lunch and take in your surroundings.