I am in a mess and don't know what to do

[Deleted User]

Spending Diary
2nd July 2015
M & S £46 (credit card) New underwear - necessary
Harvester £7.65 (cash) Lunch
Bagz £5 (cash) Handbag - reduced from £25
Hobbycraft £3 (cash) Xmas kits for making cards, 3 for 2
Takeaway £14 (cash) Chinese
Total £75.54

3rd July 2015
NSD Day
Total £0.00


Feel very guilty over what I spent on the 2nd July. Next time I go back near the shops I am planning on returning the kits to Hobbycraft (£3) and some of the underwear that doesn't fit to M & S (£30)


Got carried away on my day out. Mustn't do that again

satchmo1

uselessnow wrote: »

[
Gas / electric
Why not available? Scheme is still running
Yes the scheme is still running but you can't apply for it with our energy company at the moment. I will apply again once it is open to claim

Hi


Just catching up, and this jumped out at me. My reaction was - have you swapped utilities company lately, if not then nows the time to check if you can reduce your gas/elec costs by switching, and try to switch to a supplier that offers the discount scheme?


Secondly, in terms of magazines, Waitrose for free coffee - plus their weekly paper is good. Co-ops magazine is as good as a glossy paid for magazine. Other supermarkets may also do glossy magazines.


In the store magazines, they often have competitions. Why not become a comper (someone who's hobby is entering free competitions, both from magazines and on-line). If you don't want the prize, it could be something to sell.


With regards to your illness-related depression, can I suggest you meditate? My DH finds it really helps him. He spends on stuff when he's feeling low, too, so I do understand.


Reading - can you read on your phone (or laptop/Kindle)? If so, subscribe to Bookbub for free books. There's something free every day, and they try to match their emails to your reading preferences (romance, mystery, sci-fi etc).


I'll carry on reading and cheering you on.

satchmo1

When your OH works away, do you (does he) book via cashback site such as TopCashBank so you get at small amount back each time which you can save for presents? I got paid out on an Argos card, and have used that to buy presents for my grandchildren.

andyfromotley

Sorry but you kinda lost me when with your 'coffee and magazine' posts.

Let me ask you , what do you think the solution is?

If nothing changes, and you don't add to your debt, your cars don't break down or need replacing and you continue to make the minimum payments then the good news is that you should be clear of your debt in a few decades.

You seem to get the hump when people suggest reasonable solutions, sorry but the minor changes you are after aren't going to solve this one. On that note i'm out.

QueenBeruthiel

£46 on knickers? Lunch out. Takeaway. Handbag. You've got to be taking the p, OP.

And with that, I'm out too.

[Deleted User]

With the spiteful comments I am receiving, I have decided that I don't need that sort of help.

I will go it alone from now on.

jayII

uselessnow wrote: »

With the spiteful comments I am receiving, I have decided that I don't need that sort of help.

I will go it alone from now on.

The comments aren't spiteful. People are just frustrated because you firstly say you are incredibly worried about your debts, then you say that most advice offered is no use to you. That is followed by a post describing spending that most on the debt free would consider very extravagant at best and unnecessary at worst.

Hence the frustrated (not spiteful) comments.

For example, could you have taken sandwiches and eaten in a park, especially in today's weather? Could you have bought less expensive underwear? --M&S is nice, but it's far from the most economical place to buy undies. You then add on a handbag, a takeaway and some hobby type spending...

I wish you luck but I don't think you're helping yourself at all.

ampersand

Every one of my pertinent ?s have been ducked and ignored.

andyfromotley and Queen Beruthiel's preceding posts say what many of us must be feeling.

Whether or not op's 'depresssion' repeat-drives*** this personal ruin road for some perverse kick is immaterial.

op - it shows you are not serious about debt reduction, not at any real personal 'rock bottom', are confident of being able to continue deceiving your husband.

If you don't want debt help, don't ask for it on a public forum.
I now see jayII feels similarly, but op, you take offence - again.

Writing 'I will go it alone from now on' is leaving you exactly where you are and have been from the first. I am sorry for you. I am sorry for your husband.

You need medical help of another specific kind, which this public forum certainly will not supply.

###

LET ME REMIND YOU OF YOUR 1ST POST: here, in all its spelt out misery, which is your glory:

I am in a mess and don't know what to do
I need help please!!!!!!!
I am in a terrible mess with money and I don't know how to sort it out. ***I have had advice before but I have no real memory of what I was told. I apologise asking for help again but because of my illness my memory isn't as good as it was.

I am approx. £20000 in debt :eek:. The majority of it is mine. OH doesn't know anything about it and he can not find out. The card that we both spend on for petrol, food etc is paid off in full every month.

I can't get my head around how to try and sort it all out.
#
...to which the ONLY answer is, follow the advice given.

Anoneemoose

ampersand wrote: »

Every one of my pertinent ?s have been ducked and ignored.

andyfromotley and Queen Beruthiel's preceding posts say what many of us must be feeling.

Whether or not op's 'depresssion' repeat-drives*** this personal ruin road for some perverse kick is immaterial.

op - it shows you are not serious about debt reduction, not at any real personal 'rock bottom', are confident of being able to continue deceiving your husband.

If you don't want debt help, don't ask for it on a public forum.
I now see jayII feels similarly, but op, you take offence - again.

Writing 'I will go it alone from now on' is leaving you exactly where you are and have been from the first. I am sorry for you. I am sorry for your husband.

You need medical help of another specific kind, which this public forum certainly will not supply.

###

LET ME REMIND YOU OF YOUR 1ST POST: here, in all its spelt out misery, which is your glory:

I am in a mess and don't know what to do
I need help please!!!!!!!
I am in a terrible mess with money and I don't know how to sort it out. ***I have had advice before but I have no real memory of what I was told. I apologise asking for help again but because of my illness my memory isn't as good as it was.

I am approx. £20000 in debt :eek:. The majority of it is mine. OH doesn't know anything about it and he can not find out. The card that we both spend on for petrol, food etc is paid off in full every month.

I can't get my head around how to try and sort it all out.
#
...to which the ONLY answer is, follow the advice given.

I have to say, I totally agree and I was thinking it also (possibly a lot sooner than others). I posted and was ignored (or missed) - although I don't suppose OP has to reply to everyone.

It is my opinion that OP is making excuses, as I said earlier, people have offered advice, but it's not what she wants to hear. Now, I promise I am not deliberately being harsh when I say she is making excuses..it is just the truth, for whatever reason - probably and possibly linked to her illness and depression.

OP, can I ask what your illness is please? Obviously don't feel obliged to answer but bear in mind that there may be others on here who have experienced the same and can maybe offer support in slightly different ways that will, in the long term, help control your need to spend.

sourcrates

You are just about able to make minimum payments on all your credit debts, however, as things stand, you will be paying this for quiet some time, saving the odd tenner here and there, will not cut the mustard on this one.
If you really want to tackle this debt, a more formal solution, such as an IVA, or possibly a DRO, once the limit increases in October, will be nessessary.
If you are serious about this, and want to clear these debts, contact National Debtline, at the very least have a read of there website :

https://www.nationaldebtline.org