I am in a mess and don't know what to do

[Deleted User]

I have been in touch with the water company and they have agreed to put our account on direct debit, claimed when the bill arrives rather than collecting monthly. Previously they were collecting on a monthly payment plan which was way higher than our 6 monthly bills. New figure shown on SOA


This will help our mortgage interest as we are on an offset mortgage so anything saved in the account lowers the interest that month.


That's one job off the list

parsniphead

Well done for getting this done.

Have you thought about joining some of the challenges on the board. Having a group to work with can help keep the momentum going.

The fear of debt can be crippling at the beginning. It's so hard to stop doing the ostrich and face it. Many, many people on this thread have been there, myself included. It can be turned around but wil l take time and hard work. Each little step will increased your confidence. Keep going.

ampersand

uselessnow wrote: »

I have been in touch with the water company and they have agreed to put our account on direct debit, claimed when the bill arrives rather than collecting monthly. Previously they were collecting on a monthly payment plan which was way higher than our 6 monthly bills. New figure shown on SOA


This will help our mortgage interest as we are on an offset mortgage so anything saved in the account lowers the interest that month.


That's one job off the list

######
op - you should be challenging ALL mthly SO's. This is a constant from Martin. Do your own wkly meter readings for utilities and keep on top of the amounts you need to put aside. You can do this easily with online banking, every week if need be.

I am one among thousands who have had hefty amounts[high £hundreds] returned - several times! - after excessive amounts built up from their 'try it on' monthly estimates. despite submitting readings. Be very insistent.

You aid this using all the finesses in which mse Threads abound - most already mentioned - Challenge Threads, OS Threads, meal-planning, hot water bottles[than which no greater comfort exists, then use the water on plants indoors or out :-)], make/take your own snacks/Thermos, Library visits[plenty of magazines there] and free courses/sessions.

Do you have any crafting skills or wishes that you could learn something? You spoke of spending on hobbies.

Any other languages?

Are those invitations you've turned down from friends of longstanding?
Did you have a working life in common?
Is there an online forum perhaps leading to mtgs with others who've worked in the same line, or who share interests or enthusiasms?

You should widen your contact circle, not close it down.

That is not debt-busting, more cutting off nose to spite face.
Real friends could come to you? Do they not have other occupation during their week?

We are not always getting an accurate picture straight off:
e.g. There is no bus service in our area, only came up after
Do not live in an area that has a regular bus service
That read as though there were some buses, if not many - like this village:-)

Are those skills you had 8 years ago, before redundancy[#10], now completely irrelevant, even as a volunteer to help someone else?

re: 'I think I have sold most things that were around' [#3] - has OH not noticed things have gone? Did you spend this money, or use it to pay debt? Or did you give the things away, since you don't go on Amazon or ebay?[#111]

#46 - 'We prefer to stay here because I am near my family and that is a great help with my health condition.'

Are you also hiding this from family? Does any family member read you well enough to suspect there must be something more than your illness to account for your current state, or do you wear 'the mask' for them and friends and outsiders?
It's a common coping strategy, but you are left with self-knowledge and the same hopelessness [and debt] when back alone again.

op - it's a glorious day, because it's another day and you have survived and taken 2 more little steps.[#55, #122]

Take some more - and I won't bossyboots you about my signature until next time:)

Gardening can also be done without bending or kneeling. Being this dismissive [#76]
'I hate gardening always have done. I find it very stressful' is also to make yourself a prisoner and you have started this Thread looking for ideas and help and change.

Back to Voltaire in my signature I go:
'It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere'

Try more things, if only to throw them back in our figurative faces.

I wish you a breakthrough day.

[Deleted User]

parsniphead wrote: »

Well done for getting this done.

Have you thought about joining some of the challenges on the board. Having a group to work with can help keep the momentum going.

The fear of debt can be crippling at the beginning. It's so hard to stop doing the ostrich and face it. Many, many people on this thread have been there, myself included. It can be turned around but wil l take time and hard work. Each little step will increased your confidence. Keep going.

I did join one challenge at the beginning of the year but I had to stop because I didn't have the spare cash to save with it

[Deleted User]

ampersand wrote: »

######
op - you should be challenging ALL mthly SO's. This is a constant from Martin. Do your own wkly meter readings for utilities and keep on top of the amounts you need to put aside. You can do this easily with online banking, every week if need be.

I am one among thousands who have had hefty amounts[high £hundreds] returned - several times! - after excessive amounts built up from their 'try it on' monthly estimates. despite submitting readings.
I read the meters frequently. Accounts are never left with a balance


Are those invitations you've turned down from friends of longstanding?
Old school friends
Did you have a working life in common?
No

We are not always getting an accurate picture straight off:
e.g. There is no bus service in our area, only came up after
Do not live in an area that has a regular bus service
That read as though there were some buses, if not many - like this village:-)
Apologies if I worded my answer incorrectly. There are no buses in the area, regular or otherwise

[Deleted User]

I have paid £481.99 of the T credit card today. OH received his expenses from work and it covered some of the hotel bills on there.

amorge

uselessnow wrote: »

I have paid £481.99 of the T credit card today. OH received his expenses from work and it covered some of the hotel bills on there.

Well done on paying that off

Bobarella

uselessnow wrote: »

I have paid £481.99 of the T credit card today. OH received his expenses from work and it covered some of the hotel bills on there.

Great progress:T:T

[Deleted User]

Had a NSD today. Unfortunately Thursday wasn't so good. I will look at receipts tomorrow and fill you in on the details

Kantankrus_Mare

I dont understand ......if you have a joint account and you are paying substantial amounts off with said account that your OH wouldnt notice and query it?

My OH certainly would!!

I appreciate you have health problems but there are lots of ways of earning a little pocket money on line that doesnt take much time or energy and Im sure there would be something that would suit you.

Tesco Clubcard vouchers can be exchanged for magazine subscriptions. (you no doubt dont shop at tesco)

Libraries are free.

Cant understand why you cant afford to sell your house?

Really feel for you in the situation you are in but no one cand do it but you.

Wish you luck.