Am i being unreasonable?

elliew92

missbiggles1 wrote: »

But why, if he doesn't want to?

He has stated he WANTS to. He wants to go somewhere like maldives thats why i think it is best for him to help his fear beforehand.

I am not an unreasonable person i have had many uk holidays with him by his choice.

elliew92

Money_maker wrote: »

Yes, coming across as 'stamps feet' and 'he will have to do what he's told whether he likes it or not'!

I am not a princess i am reasonable. I have helped him out a lot with his anxiety, it was his choice and idea to have a therapist not mine.

And yes this would be the last holiday as we are saving to move out, a wedding and everything on top. We wont be able to do uk breaks as we live in Oxford it is the most expensive place to live in the UK then saving for a wedding on top etc it isnt dueable.

If my OH couldn't face it i wouldn't force him like you all assume i am not a monster nor spoilt to do that it is damn right cruel. I am trying to help him overcome his fears not make them worse.

elliew92

Errata wrote: »

Doctors don't prescribe drugs to enable people to go on holiday, and if yours will - he may not be the best doc for your OH's health.

No they help with ANXIETY which is what i have always stated, it is a common drug and well known with various types around.

lostinrates

elliew92 wrote: »

I am not a princess i am reasonable. I have helped him out a lot with his anxiety, it was his choice and idea to have a therapist not mine.

And yes this would be the last holiday as we are saving to move out, a wedding and everything on top. We wont be able to do uk breaks as we live in Oxford it is the most expensive place to live in the UK then saving for a wedding on top etc it isnt dueable.

If my OH couldn't face it i wouldn't force him like you all assume i am not a monster nor spoilt to do that it is damn right cruel. I am trying to help him overcome his fears not make them worse.

Sometimes the best thing you can do to help is sit back at let the other person do it in THEIR time and at THEIR own motivation with no 'support', 'help' or pressure.

Errata

elliew92 wrote: »

No they help with ANXIETY which is what i have always stated, it is a common drug and well known with various types around.

But your OH doesn't need to feel anxious because he doesn't need to get on a plane. It really is that simple and straightforward.

missbiggles1

Errata wrote: »

I'd suggest the alternative is not taking drugs to enable an experience to be pleasurable.

Tolerable, not pleasurable.

FBaby

And yes this would be the last holiday as we are saving to move out, a wedding and everything on top.

If you have the money now, why not put it in a specific account and keep it there until he really wants to go abroad? It sounds to me that at the moment, his anxiety including his fear of flying is stronger than his desire to go somewhere exotic. It might be that in a couple of years' time he will be desperate to go away and that desperation will take over the stress of flying.

The bottom line is that it needs to be HIS choice when HE is ready not when you want it. Is delaying that special holiday something you would be willing to accept?

Brighton_belle

FBaby wrote: »

If you have the money now, why not put it in a specific account and keep it there until he really wants to go abroad?

Yup, already suggested that.

Torry_Quine

I think you need to take a step back and relax. A holiday abroad is a luxury not essential and if your partner is unable to face flying then please try and see it from his perspective and don't make it such a big issue.

dirty_magic

Errata wrote: »

Doctors don't prescribe drugs to enable people to go on holiday, and if yours will - he may not be the best doc for your OH's health.

They do, my auntie has been given medication for flying. If he can get medication to enable him to get on the plane it might go some way to desensitizing the fear, especially if its a long haul flight.