Am i being unreasonable?

trolleyrun

Here's a thought; he's not in control of the "driving" or heigh because he doesn't know how to fly an aeroplane. I'd rather fly with pilots who have plenty of experience and know what all the buttons are for

You have several options of helping your OH cope with his fear:
1) Fear of flying course. Run by many airlines, prices vary.
2) A flying lesson. It's a great way to learn more about how and why an aircraft can fly.
3) CBT or NLP. Go see the GP about being referred.
4) Tablets/medication may seem all well and good but it doesn't help the underlying cause.
5) Use breathing and relaxation techniques. There are many out there, search online for something that might work.
6) Contact me via PM and I'll try my best to help.

VfM4meplse

Why not book a "staycation" at a UK seaside resort? Although I agree, not a lying-on-the-beach experience (which is not good for you, and I personally would find mind numbing). Or as suggested above, on a Mediterranean cruise you could lounge on the deck all you like.

FBaby

Are you actually listening to your partner? He is scared of flying and the prospect of getting on a plan is ruining his looking forward to it. It might be silly to him, but it isn't to him. Don't you have any irrational fears?

Your posts are all about what YOU want to do and seem to think that it is unfair that he is not prepared to get over his issues to make sure you have your perfect holiday.

You need to come up with a compromise. What would HE prepared to do? Maybe you could agree to a holiday in the South of France (still nice and warm in September) and then maybe he could do on one of those programme for frightened flyer next year to combat his fear of flying.

You say that he flew last year with no problem. I very much doubt that is the case if he won't fly now. Maybe it was a terrible experience, but you were too focus on how much a great time you had to appreciate how your partner was feeling.

bagpussbear

My husband won't fly now due to a terrible experience on a flight back from Egypt 3 years ago.

You don't have to fly to have a holiday. Last year we used trains and visited France, Italy and Switzerland. This year we are taking the car over and going to Germany, Luxemborg and Lichtenstein.

Or as others have suggested, a cruise?

Don't put pressure on him, find an alternative way to go away like we do at least for this year.

That will take the pressure off, and he can think about seeking help for his flying phobia, or look into taking medication or whatever, in his own time.

KRB2725

Buy hi the Virgin Atlantic flying without fear course as a present! They do a short flight at the end of them as well.

MrsChook

emmatthews wrote: »

Buy hi the Virgin Atlantic flying without fear course as a present! They do a short flight at the end of them as well.

I did the Flying Without Fear course and it was great. I did bawl my eyes out at the beginning as soon as the pilot walked into the room but after that I was okay. The pilot himself (Steve Bull) was professional, engaging and his humour had everyone laughing on numerous occasions, which was obviously a good thing given the circumstances. The event was presented in an extremely professional way and I learnt so much about aeroplanes and their strange noises and sensations (they are SO nothing to worry about), as well as some fabulous coping techniques from their psychologist.

Just about everybody got on the flight at the end, I think there were two people out of about 120 who couldn't get on. So, chances are, your OH will get on the flight and he could feel much better about flying afterwards :j

elliew92

FBaby wrote: »

Are you actually listening to your partner? He is scared of flying and the prospect of getting on a plan is ruining his looking forward to it. It might be silly to him, but it isn't to him. Don't you have any irrational fears?

Your posts are all about what YOU want to do and seem to think that it is unfair that he is not prepared to get over his issues to make sure you have your perfect holiday.

You need to come up with a compromise. What would HE prepared to do? Maybe you could agree to a holiday in the South of France (still nice and warm in September) and then maybe he could do on one of those programme for frightened flyer next year to combat his fear of flying.

You say that he flew last year with no problem. I very much doubt that is the case if he won't fly now. Maybe it was a terrible experience, but you were too focus on how much a great time you had to appreciate how your partner was feeling.

Of course i have fears everyone has them. I know he has a fear but i am helping him over come it thats why i have asked him to go to his GP. We are engaged and i don't fancy a honeymoon on the coast of the UK so one day he will have to face a plane. I also don't want him living in fear of his own life.

The flying last year was fine, we didn't have turbulence and he said he was fine as he had music and a book to read. Being with my partner for 5 years i know what he is like. He gets bad anxiety when he has new "changes" like his new job back in December last year, which we worked together to help him get through and he is now fine.

He told me he would like a holiday and keeps chopping and changing his mind, he said he would love one so he can relax and get away but he can only get on a plane if he can get something for it.

I will look into a flying course if possible.

elliew92

MrsChook wrote: »

I did the Flying Without Fear course and it was great. I did bawl my eyes out at the beginning as soon as the pilot walked into the room but after that I was okay. The pilot himself (Steve Bull) was professional, engaging and his humour had everyone laughing on numerous occasions, which was obviously a good thing given the circumstances. The event was presented in an extremely professional way and I learnt so much about aeroplanes and their strange noises and sensations (they are SO nothing to worry about), as well as some fabulous coping techniques from their psychologist.

Just about everybody got on the flight at the end, I think there were two people out of about 120 who couldn't get on. So, chances are, your OH will get on the flight and he could feel much better about flying afterwards :j

Thank you it is good to read positive reviews about it, do you mind me asking how much this was?

MrsChook

elliew92 wrote: »

Thank you it is good to read positive reviews about it, do you mind me asking how much this was?

I think it was around £220 and that was in 2011. Just had a look on their site and the price is £267 (sorry, can't post a link as I haven't done enough MSE posts!).

duchy

There's an awful lot going on in your lives at the moment - New home, work is stressed.
Pick your battles -leave the fear of flying on the backburner for now and readdress it once you've moved and things are more settled .

Book a cruise,(there's some fantastic deals around) or take a ferry to Spain or drive to the South of France -and both relax.

If you push the flying now -you could make it harder to deal with his fear later on - so take the long view. You have years ahead of you to take flying holidays later so find a compromise for this holiday rather than force things at a time he's already stressed out. Putting a time limit on him having to have sorted his fears out within 3 months is just adding yet more pressure and setting him up to fail at overcoming his phobia.