Dating someone who has less than you

InsideInsurance

a1fan wrote: »

Would you do it?

Have done it and married to it too.

I wouldnt judge someone by the size of their bank balance. The fact I happen to work in an industry that pays well is luck rather than design and someone can very much be my equal even if they earn a tenth of what I do (as the Mrs did when I first met her).

With her there is also the complexity of international aspects. My family would be lower middle class being workers without education who got up the ranks and started their own SME. They own 1 property, mortgaged, and normally a relatively new car each. Her family on the other hand would be upper middle class given they are all senior doctors and lawyers, they all own multiple properties that are unencumbered , several cars each and 2-3 house staff. Add up the values though and use the "real" exchange rate and it'd be less than my background as they are in a developing country and I'm obviously in the UK.

SandC

Very much depends on the degree and the career path. Once you get to a certain level your qualifications aren't really looked at, in my experience anyway (which granted is not in London). How you get somewhere is not always reliant on being academic is what I'm saying.

I agree with the poster above though, that give it a few more years and things will probably have evened out between her and her peers (they won't necessarily have overtaken her).

missbiggles1

SandC wrote: »

Very much depends on the degree and the career path. Once you get to a certain level your qualifications aren't really looked at, in my experience anyway (which granted is not in London). How you get somewhere is not always reliant on being academic is what I'm saying.

I agree with the poster above though, that give it a few more years and things will probably have evened out between her and her peers (they won't necessarily have overtaken her).

Nowadays, neither is going to univesity!

rachy182

I agree with the poster who said that its more to do with attitudes towards money. If I had scrimped and saved to be able to buy a house on my own but potential partners probably earned more/ same yet had nothing to show for it then i would be apprehensive about having a long term relationship with them. It would also annoy me if i had put more into the relationship yet if there was a divorce he got more than he had put in. I know relationships aren't all about money but when money isnt equal it can cause huge problems.

feetflames

Interesting.

I have a degree in Philosphy and completed this about 15 years ago. Today I earn very little and rent a room in a shared house. The industry I work in is nothing to do with my education.

All I have to show for my education is debt. To be honest, I went to uni as an escape from an unhappy and abusive home. Back then I had no idea what I wanted to do with it, I just knew I wanted to get out.

Very few people I know work in the industry that they qualified in. That's not to say it's all worthless though as some have got really good jobs. I just went into it as a form of escape.

I have read and heard before that those with degrees end up earning more than those without. But that may be because most people who study in uni are a bit more ambitious and probably knew what they wanted to study/do. Although I have no regrets, I wouldn't recommend anyone to study unless they had an idea of what they wanted to do with it (apart from teach it) as it is very expensive to gain a qualification.

David301

Guest101 wrote: »

Well the whole purpose of going to university is to gain education and qualifications to further one's life. Typically this is measured financially.

However additional 'perks' could be being placed in a position of trust, e.g. solicitor, doctor etc.

Social position? Well a good measure in modern UK would be, how much does one have in common with reglars on the jeremy kyle show?

If you havent noticed this, i suggest you open your eyes, it's fairly evident in all western societies. The poor are shunned and the well to do are taxed.
Nothing to do with being 'good' or 'bad', just where one finds themselves located on a socio-economic scale.

To a point this is correct, however many uni courses that people take up are total rubbish and as such do give the young person a degree, but it doesn't necessarily translate into getting a job in that particular field, but they are "over qualified" to stack shelves at the supermarket.

Many companies these days, supermarkets especially, have fast track management courses that fire motivated individuals up the ranks. It is the exact same course that someone with a degree would do after 3 years of studying.

Ultimately nearly everyone can get to where they want to be if they have the motivation and drive. Often as with the Jeremy Kyle types they accept their lot in life and cause themselves problems by having too much time on their hands.

If someone with motivation and drive is looking for a partner surely they would find that an attractive trait in another individual, I couldnt see a lawyer or doctor searching for a life partner from the Jeremy Kyle pool!

Guest101

David301 wrote: »

To a point this is correct, however many uni courses that people take up are total rubbish and as such do give the young person a degree, but it doesn't necessarily translate into getting a job in that particular field, but they are "over qualified" to stack shelves at the supermarket.

Many companies these days, supermarkets especially, have fast track management courses that fire motivated individuals up the ranks. It is the exact same course that someone with a degree would do after 3 years of studying.

Ultimately nearly everyone can get to where they want to be if they have the motivation and drive. Often as with the Jeremy Kyle types they accept their lot in life and cause themselves problems by having too much time on their hands.

If someone with motivation and drive is looking for a partner surely they would find that an attractive trait in another individual, I couldnt see a lawyer or doctor searching for a life partner from the Jeremy Kyle pool!

Also worth noting that actually having a degree from a good university (more or less regardless of subject matter) show the ability to pick up & retain information, and turn that information into useable materials. - Which is a life skill.

I studied Politics, now work in Comms. Not completely unrelated, but i didnt know what i wanted to do at 18. Politics is a generic degree, looks good on paper, and interesting enough to study that you dont throw in the towel.

a1fan

My colleague worked and saved hard to own her home, as I'm sure most home owners do. As her property is in London it's not likely she will make a loss on it. Dating someone wouldn't mean she'd be losing anything but it'll mean she's likely to be giving more than she's taking, for now at least.

In relationships you're never really going to be exactly equal but I do understand somebody's fear of losing what they've built up especially if you're a bit older and have been hurt (financially or otherwise) before.

I own my own flat and thinking about this, if I were to get into a relationship now I'd be happy for new partner to live with me but I'd be reluctant to put his name on the deeds.

David301

Guest101 wrote: »

Also worth noting that actually having a degree from a good university (more or less regardless of subject matter) show the ability to pick up & retain information, and turn that information into useable materials. - Which is a life skill.

I studied Politics, now work in Comms. Not completely unrelated, but i didnt know what i wanted to do at 18. Politics is a generic degree, looks good on paper, and interesting enough to study that you dont throw in the towel.

You can tell you studies politics - you are very good at stating your informative points and debating with others without having to resort to threats or bad language!

Guest101

a1fan wrote: »

My colleague worked and saved hard to own her home, as I'm sure most home owners do. As her property is in London it's not likely she will make a loss on it. Dating someone wouldn't mean she'd be losing anything but it'll mean she's likely to be giving more than she's taking, for now at least.

In relationships you're never really going to be exactly equal but I do understand somebody's fear of losing what they've built up especially if you're a bit older and have been hurt (financially or otherwise) before.

I own my own flat and thinking about this, if I were to get into a relationship now I'd be happy for new partner to live with me but I'd be reluctant to put his name on the deeds.

Do you have a mortgage? If so, you couldnt do the above anyway.