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I need some advice on an issue with my ex
Comments
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pollypenny wrote: »Is the ex not showing passive-aggression by bringing the woman he committed adultery with to collect the kids?
Maybe there's the odd occasion when they are taking the kids out somewhere would be fair, but not on a regular basis.
Well, if he had posted that he and his partner go together to pick up his children but his ex is making a fuss even though the new partner stays in the car, I'd suggest that he picks them up without her or parks a bit down the road so that the car can't be seen from the house - both would be reasonable solutions to his problem.
The OP's problem is how she reacts to his new partner and while not seeing her at pick-up time would reduce the problem, she also needs to deal with those feelings.0 -
It's still no reason to forgive him enough to speak reasonably with him but to freak out at the other woman sitting in a car on the other side of the road.
The OP may never be able to forgive him. Why should she be reasonable with him when for so many years he's been totally disrespectful to her.
I have two female relatives who've just gone through similar divorces. The anguish they've gone through has been painful to watch. Both their husband's cheated on them, they hate them for it and also despise the women they're with.
Perhaps those who suggest Maureen is overreacting have never had first hand experience of such betrayal. Of course it would be lovely, 'if only for the kids sake', to all sit around the table and share a packet of Custard Creams, but in real life it rarely happens.In memory of Chris Hyde #8670 -
I am so impressed with this post Adey, it's a pleasant departure from the usual!Maureen has a right to feel as does. The woman had a long term affair with her husband, she probably knew he was married but carried on regardless and took an active part in all the deceit that caused Maureen so much pain.
If that is the case why on earth would she want anything to do with her. She may be good to Maureen's children but that doesn't mean Maureen has to be civil to her.
This is about forgiveness, if I were Maureen I'd not be turning the other cheek to the other woman and wouldn't want her anywhere near me.Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy
...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!0 -
Maureen's feelings about the other woman may be very valid, but if she keeps them to herself and the children get not the tiniest hint of them then no harm's done..................
....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)0 -
VfM4meplse wrote: »I am so impressed with this post Adey, it's a pleasant departure from the usual!
Do you mean no innuendo?
It's hard, I'll try and keep it up. (Oh damn!) In memory of Chris Hyde #8670 -
The harm has already been done.Maureen's feelings about the other woman may be very valid, but if she keeps them to herself and the children get not the tiniest hint of them then no harm's done.
Why shouldn't the children be made aware that this woman was in part the reason for their parent's split? Why should they not be able to make a judgement whether to associate with her or not based on facts?Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!0 -
The only person being hurt by her reaction to the new partner is her - that's why she needs to work out a way of reducing her reaction.
She may never forgive either of them (or the other women he cheated with) but, for her own well-being, she needs to be able to reduce the stress and pain she experiences when the children are collected. It's not easy but it's important for her well-being.0 -
Maureen has a right to feel as does. The woman had a long term affair with her husband, she probably knew he was married but carried on regardless and took an active part in all the deceit that caused Maureen so much pain.
If that is the case why on earth would she want anything to do with her. She may be good to Maureen's children but that doesn't mean Maureen has to be civil to her.
This is about forgiveness, if I were Maureen I'd not be turning the other cheek to the other woman and wouldn't want her anywhere near me.
Absolutely!0 -
Maureen's feelings about the other woman may be very valid, but if she keeps them to herself and the children get not the tiniest hint of them then no harm's done.
My children are teenagers and so pick up quite a bit, but they have no idea how I feel about this. I'm proud about that.0
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