Hygiene of friends

AnnieO1234

I've not read the entire thread, but I just want to offer this. Take a step back for a moment and consider how you view your own home. Are you the type of person who loves minimalism? Do you really dislike clutter? Could you be confusing the two?

The reason I ask is that we have a family member who, by her own admission, would love to live somewhere like Sweden, minimalist furniture, nothing unnecessary on show at all. She hates with a passion anything 'frufru' (sic.) as it were. She likes clean lines, everything hidden away. The problem is that she therefore believes every one she visits to have poor housekeeping skills. One elderly aunt gets very frustrated with this woman because, as some do, the aunt keeps all her knick knacks on display. Photos and oddments on every surface, but every surface is dusted at least once a week. Every item is clean. Not to the relative though.

That said, there are some that are just too slovenly and unkempt, but I do wonder if that's because there's something else going on in their lives? Are they immersing themselves in something else? Church, community group, gaming whatever? Is it healthy or not is the main question, i.e. gambling every night so no time in the house wouldn't be healthy, going out to work at a food bank every day less so. There's still probably some unhealthy reasons behind why someone would feel the need to immerse themselves so much in something else that they do it to the detriment of cleaning, but then some people simply don't care. There's a limited amount of time we are given and therefore they'd rather spend it doing something else than worrying about cleaning. Even more so if they're caring for a disabled family member or something like that.

Hope you manage to sort things out so that you don't lose the friendship. xxx

j.e.j.

Judi wrote: »

Eww, Eww and more EWWW!

I know, I dread to think how long they hadn't been washed for, to get that bad.

I gave up drinking out of his cups when I found an unidentified something stuck inside the rim of the cup when I went to take a sip of my tea. _pale_

I think that (and the fish that had been out on the side for 4 days) was when I finally put my foot down and said I'm not eating or drinking round there any more.

lynsayjane

Oh me! I'm clearly more polite than most on this forum.
Although not OCD I really dislike living in an unclean place. Don't get me wrong, I can have my untidy or CBA moments, but in general my house is kept clean and tidy. So I've regularly been in situations where homes aren't as clean or tidy as I'm used to and for the majority of the time I suck it up.
There was one time in a (now ex) chums house though that I took her bleach to the bathroom and cleaned the toilet before using it. She knew I did it and just laughed calling me a snob. She had a house rabbit and evil cat too which made the place so much worse. I'm glad to no longer need to visit there.

I'm afraid in the OP's case I'm torn between not going back again ever, seriously they asked you to remove your shoes to walk into that hell hole? That's beyond awful, I probably wouldn't have walked in seeing that. Or finding a way to tell them or hint at it. Maybe something like 'OMG I've bought this new hoover for the pet hairs, it's wonderful, do you want to give it a try?'. If it's deterring other friends from visiting then which is worse, risking offence or them being so unhappy that no one visits not understanding what the problem is?

System

My wife has a cat litter tray in the bedroom. We call it the en suite. I find it very hygienic as long as she washes her hands after burying her routine night poo.

j.e.j.

Spinkz wrote: »

My wife has a cat litter tray in the bedroom. We call it the en suite. I find it very hygienic as long as she washes her hands after burying her routine night poo.

That's a good idea. I just make do with a chamber pot.

System

j.e.j. wrote: »

That's a good idea. I just make do with a chamber pot.

Oh look at you with your chamber pot Jejjy. Bloody snob

j.e.j.

Spinkz wrote: »

Oh look at you with your chamber pot Jejjy. Bloody snob

It's dead easy to take care of. I just put it in the dishwasher afterwards.

System

j.e.j. wrote: »

It's dead easy to take care of. I just put it in the dishwasher afterwards.

Oh my god Jejjey you are a modern world Victorian! Going by that i would assume your friends are less concerned about hygiene and more concerned about catching the plague :rotfl:

System

j.e.j. wrote: »

That's a good idea. I just make do with a chamber pot.

Your posh.... Round here they are known as a 'po'.

LameWolf

Judi wrote: »

Your posh.... Round here they are known as a 'po'.

Known as a "Gesunder" here.

When I worked for the Valuation Office, it was my job to go and measure new houses for rateable value purposes (yes, this pre-dates even the hated Poll Tax) and there was one brand new house I visited where I was absolutely hit by the stench of stale urine the minute I stepped through the door; the place was a tip, and there were several very grubby half-dressed children running around. I have never been so glad to get out of a place! What I couldn't understand was how a house that had only been occupied for a couple of months could get so bad, particularly to the smell.