Hygiene of friends

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Children who grow up on farms apparently have much stronger immune systems and significantly fewer incidences of allergies and asthma. You'd be surprised at what a healthy adult can get away with eating (despite your eyes telling you it's ewwww)- don't underestimate the acidic inferno of your stomach! Animal hair is annoying when on your clothes, but it's not going to make you ill unless you have an allergy. I do find that dog owners genuinely don't realise how smelly their houses are, and have often given up trying to remove the hairs. Horse owners never have clean cars. I'm very houseproud myself, but accept that others have different standards to me. If I only visited people whose bathrooms were like mine (once worked as a housekeeper in a motel so have been taught to clean efficiently) I would have a very limited social life!

No harm in a tea or coffee (boiling water); why not take your own food as a "gift"?

marisco_2

fairy_lights wrote: »

Seriously? Nice of you to assume I have no compassion because I don't feel sorry for everyone with a dirty house.
The story of the Old Lady with the bean can labels on the wall is a very sad one, but the OP has said nothing to suggest their friends are vulnerable and need sympathy. Some people just have dirty houses.

People don't have to be vulnerable to receive compassion. It may just be that this is what they have always known due to the ways they were brought up. I wouldn't choose to live that way myself but I would find a way to maintain a friendship with people who did.

Mojisola

marisco wrote: »

People don't have to be vulnerable to receive compassion. It may just be that this is what they have always known due to the ways they were brought up.

We're not trapped by the way we were brought up. They surely have visited enough other homes in their lifetime to be aware that most people don't live in dirty conditions.

davetrousers

Judi wrote: »

The burgers, well I know you can eat beef 'rare' but I'd still rather not.

Beef can be eaten rare because any nasties are on the outside surfaces (which are killed of when cooked). Now if you mince that piece of beef up then the nasties are distributed throughout the burger. So cook properly folks. Unless you are very confident in the supply chain.

fivetide

Mojisola wrote: »

We're not trapped by the way we were brought up. They surely have visited enough other homes in their lifetime to be aware that most people don't live in dirty conditions.

I think this is more the answer:

out_vile_jelly wrote:

I do find that dog owners genuinely don't realise how smelly their houses are, and have often given up trying to remove the hairs.

They might well have made an effort. They may have thought it was quite ok - after all, they asked the OP to remove their shoes!


That tells you that they do have some form of pride in their home, even if reality is at odds with that to an outsider.

GwylimT

While our house is clean dog and cat hair is a popular condiment.

My parents house was dirty growing up, farm dirty, so it wasn't uncommon for bits of straw to be trodden into the carpets and working on a farm our hands were always a lovely shade of brown.

I wouldn't like a litter tray on the side, but then again I don't think I have every washed by hands before eating when I have been cleaning cows udders ans mucking them out, so double standards recently. Although there would be absolutely nothing wrong with having a tray on the side as long as you cleaned the actual preparation area, so while it wouldn't look particularlt nice if they were clean people it wouldn't be an issue.

A carpet has to be really bad to be sticky, at least you had socks on! I have been in those situations before and I have taken my socks off before putting my shoes back on.

amistupid

David301 wrote: »

Do we tell them that we dont want to go again and the reason why or is it best to be busy all the time?

Drop them a subtle hint, next time you visit wear boiler suits and gas masks.

pinkshoes

It it wasnt for the shoe bit, i thought you might have been visiting my inlaws!!

We moved in with them, and to thank them for their generosity of allowing us to live with them rent free, I offered to do all the cleaning! I just told them ILOVE cleaning!

You could say you have won a house spring clean, but already have one booked for yours, so could they make use for it? (Then make sure the cleaning company dont mention that you paid for it!)

j.e.j.

David301 wrote: »

Anyway - The question

Have you experienced this situation?

Oh God yes. Ex father in law's house was absolutely disgusting. So is my uncle's, apparently (I've never ventured in there myself, having been warned about it). And rumour has it that one of the flats in this block needs fumigating, because the owners have never cleaned it :eek: Some people live in sh*t, and it doesn't seem to bother them.

Do we tell them that we dont want to go again and the reason why or is it best to be busy all the time?

:undecided

I think telling them the truth would require some very good social and communication skills. Skills that you may have but I unfortunately don't

It got to the stage with ex F.i.L. that we would eat and drink in a cafe before going round there, and I would bring a bottle of water with me to sip from if I needed to wet my whistle.

I also brought my own tea-towel, as his were non-existent, and his hand-towels were stiff as boards from not having been washed.

I'd be inclined to be "busy" or to meet them down the pub.

System

I also brought my own tea-towel, as his were non-existent, and his hand-towels were stiff as boards from not having been washed.

Eww, Eww and more EWWW!