Here we can all be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

I have a Borderline Personality diagnosis, MU. I just see it as one of many but yes, I have experienced some doctors who have told me that I can't improve my life because of it. Fortunately my current psychiatrist is very good and we ignore the labels and treat the symptoms.

You are right with psychosis, it does respond to medication that attempts to fix what is broken chemically. Psychopathy and sociopathy can't be 'fixed'.

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Aw, Calley, I promise you that it is fine. I don;t see it as 'mental' at all and I am sure that no one here does. A lot of people are just ignorant about mental health, and I don't mean that as an insult I mean literally ignorant in that they don't understand and have never been taught. So they make assumptions that go with the crowd and often get it very wrong.

Another one I hate is that Schizophrenia means someone is dangerous and the media doesn't help with that. The majority of schizophrenics are no more likely to hurt someone more than anyone else and for those who do sometimes lash out it is usually because they are terrified and feel threatened. But again, many people don't understand and don't try to sadly so the myths about these conditions continue.

Personally i've always felt those with a mental illness are more likely to be a danger to themselves than anyone else (when i was at my illest i wanted to hurt myself i never dreamnt if hurting anyone else), yet there is this misconception in the media that people with a mental illness are a danger to others (sadly schizophrenia is often mentioned). Those who have lashed out have more than likely been let down by the mental health system, they might be off their meds or having a bad episode but its very rare such a thing would happen if they were being treated correctly.

Waves_and_Smiles

That is totally true. One of the downsides of Schizophrenia is it seems to come with a universal reluctance to take medication long term. I battle with this myself and sometimes WaSp has to sit with me and watch me take my medication because everything in me is telling me not to. But I do take it and stay relatively stable. It is well known that Schizophrenics find it hard to continue to take it and there are injections that can be given that are long acting for people who struggle with this. Sadly, it is rarely offered unless people have come off of the medication multiple times or are too unwell to take it.

I am definitely only a danger to myself. I have hurt myself a lot over the years but I have never hurt another person and I never would. I have said many times to professionals that I would take my own life if I thought that there was any risk of that.

dragonette

Calley, I do that too. Quite frequently at times too

WaS - thank you, I'm finding your explanations hugely comforting atm. Next time I dissociate slightly, I'm going to see if I can chat with another side of me. Can't hurt to try after all

In a way, I do have alter egos/other forms of me. Penguin

BDSM - more of a space so ppl can avoid if preferred
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This is something I've been exploring over the last couple of years. There are some aspects which are relevant to the MPD discussion. I seem to have a lot more roles and variability in my roles than most people I've met in the lifestyle. There are at least 7 roles I take on and most people I talk to have 2 or 3. There's a thing called sub space, which feels similar to deep meditation and, to me, feels wonderful. It's as disconnected as dissociation, but in a warm and fuzzy way.

Really, I was thinking more of myself and friends who have animalistic roles - wolves are quite common, as are puppies and kittens. I'm a dragon. Because that way I have wings and can fly out of reach if anyone tries to abuse or mistreat me. So I do have other personalities, and they all get a chance to come out. Dragon keeps me safe, and when we need to be little, she shrinks into a golden lizard who can nestle into a friend's fur and be young and cute and looked after.

The feeling of the dragon side I can remember always being there, the little lizard took a couple of very painful years to come to terms with. To let myself be vulnerable after the sexual abuse.




That was a bit more rambling than I meant. MU- that sounds awfully scary. Its one of my fears that I will do that at some point without knowing it.

Def sleep time for me I think. Nn all, sleep well and *hugs*

Waves_and_Smiles

That sounds very healthy to me, dragonette! Particularly that you can allow a part of you to be vulnerable now. Do try having a chat next time you dissociate, it might just surprise you.

Another way of looking at others is we all have different roles that we play within our personality. The work professional, the nurturer, the fun friend, the loving partner, etc. It is only a small step to imagine these parts of ourselves as stand alone personalities and only a few more steps to MPD where they function separately in their role. The scale is huge and everyone is on there somewhere.

Indie_Kid

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

*Tiny rant* Schizophrenia is not MPD/ DID! They are entirely different conditions with totally different causes. Schizophrenics do not have multiple personalities! Ever! People with solely MPD/DID do not have psychosis! (Unless they have both like me but they are still totally separate conditions). One is a biochemical condition and the other is a form of PTSD with very different symptoms, they only ever overlap if you by chance happen to have both. One can be described as illness because the cause is physical in nature, the other is an emotional disorder caused by intense trauma as a child. They do not have the same origins and do not have similar symptoms at all. *End tiny rant*

I know we all know this here (and I love you all for it) but I have read three times today where people have confused the terms and it is one of my pet peeves. I tried replying to someone who was confused and was told "It's all the same thing by different names". It really isn't, not even slightly! It isn't fair on people with either condition and causes misunderstandings of what is really happening.

And breathe...

It was suggested at some point my brother had Schizoprenia. It, as you're saying, was because he was hearing and seeing things that aren't there. I sometimes hear things that probably aren't there. But in my case, it's to do with having really sensitive hearing (I can hear things you can't - it's useful at times!)

And whilst I'm here - do wish some people weren't so bloody judgmental and ignorant over those of us with invisible and fluctuating disabilities. I get the impression that some people also believe you can't be disabled and walk.:mad:

Pyxis

It's all about education, though, isn't it?

Of course people can't understand what they can't see, at least until it's explained to them.

For example, because there is abuse of the blue badge scheme, if someone sees a car pull into a disabled space, and the person who gets out is lithe and active and appears to have no trouble walking or carrying bags, it's easy for the onlooker to assume that the driver isn't disabled. Of course, they may be right! And perhaps the onlooker is trying to be a good citizen by shaming someone they see as able-bodied.
However, we all know that there are lots of conditions that don't show, so we do have to be careful.

A friend of mine has a blue badge because, following a bad stroke at a relatively young age, she has cognitive problems, hearing and sight problems, physical weaknesses and tires very, very quickly. When she tires, she can become very confused and lose her way. She doesn't drive, but can she can use the blue badge if being driven somewhere by another. At first glance, she appears perfectly able-bodied. It's only after being with her for quite a while that you realise she's not, and if she tires, it becomes obvious very quickly.
If I am driving her, I try, if possible, to drop her off close to wherever it is, then go and park in a normal space, so as to leave a disabled space for someone who is on their own and needs it. That isn't always possible, though, and then her needs have to override my discomfort at parking in a disabled space when I am not disabled. But of course, she is! And that is what the blue badge is for.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is, it is easy to judge when conditions aren't obvious.

So education is the key. Luckily, communication is so easy these days, that people are much better informed, but there's still a long way to go.



Yes WaS, you're right about the spectrum thing. As you say, many people have times when they have a bright, confident personality, and other times when they feel like a curled up, scared little child, me included. You only have to slide the bar further along the scale for it to become multiple personalities. I quite envy you your internal circle of caring friends!


By the way, I am struggling to understand what Borderline Personality Disorder is., and why is it called borderline? Can you enlighten me?

Indie_Kid

katy721 wrote: »

The silly doctor I saw the other day asked why I had anxiety when all babies tests were fine. I explained I wasn't really anxious about baby. She then asked what I was anxious about, and I told her it wasn't one thing in particular. She told me it wasn't anxiety then as you have to be anxious about a particular thing.
Doesn't bode well when even doctors don't really understand mh conditions

I was once told by a woman who clearly doesn't understand Autism tell me it's anxiety I have. There are a few situations I will get anxious in - lack of routine, lots of strange people and loud noises. She's meant to be the disability assist person for the local college. A friend will you completely different. But then again, he's had to sit there and try to constantly communicate with me and see the frustration because I can't tell him what I need.

Wellyboots6

Communicating your needs can be very difficult.

I like to be asked direct questions with a choice of answers, or I have to write down how I'm feeling. Trying to describe it verbally doesnt work for me as I get flustered and confused.

Asking me how I feel drives me potty as I don't actually know half the time! I struggle to identify and label emotions and feelings. This doesnt help when dealing with professionals as they are all trained now to ask open questions and get people to describe in their own words.

I struggled with CBT due to not being able to describe my thoughts or feelings. My therapist just got ratty with me!

Pyxis

At risk of being batted across the face with a wet fish, or worse, may I just clarify a couple of things that keep popping up all over the forum?

Pidgin = the 'language'
Pigeon = the bird
Pidgeon = the surname, as in Walter Pidgeon the actor


Loose = not tight
Lose = mislaid or can't find


Thank you for putting up with me! I can grit my teeth a lot of the time, but sometimes I just Have to let it all out!

(Let the fish-batting commence!)