Here we can all be heard for a little while

codemonkey

I haven't. TOTM just started so will schedule for 2 weeks time if I can. Might be brave and phone them now

Booked in for week after next. I sounded like a total idiot because I messed up my period math.

Georgiegirl256

Do it!!

codemonkey

It's done!

Flybaby

Pyx - thanks for the catch up.


Moo - lmao - do they not realise what you do for a living?!?!?! You are sooooo brave!


Thanks for all the feedback on the aged ones making comments. You have all made me feel so much better. I have no issue when someone says something occasionally that they shouldn't (we are all human) but, as it sounds like you all know, it's when the record is stuck on repeat. By going on and on about it, I feel that they are effectively saying you don't know what you are doing, you are wrong, my way is the right way, when are you going to listen to me etc etc. And for me - I think that contributes to my feeling of self doubt and negativity.


What I want to say is - "you have made your comment, clearly I disagree, and since it is my house and my life, end of discussion. Thank you for your input and I do value your participation in my life, but you need to accept that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions and I have my own opinions. Are you aware that by continuing to mention said issue every single time I see you, it makes me no longer want to spend time with you as you are actually making me feel bad? Are you aware that I actually feel like you are trying to bully me into giving in to your way of doing things and actually I don't think that is a healthy relationship for me. Can I ask you to maybe think on what I've said and let me know if you are prepared to drop or get over SAID ISSUE so we can move on and get back to our awesome relationship?"


A few months back, my best friend pointed out to me that I kept on and on at my mum about swopping her bedroom and craftroom/spare room over. (bedroom south facing - all the light, crafty room, north facing and dark and she always ends up bringing the craft stuff downstairs to do in lounge in the light)
My best friend was right. I did keep on and on about it because I think she would love having a light place to craft without having the mess all over the house......... BUT........... its her house, her decision and for whatever reason she doesn't want to do it...............cor, I have been going on about it for years.....I am surprised my mum didnt tell me to F*&) off.


My best friend knows how I feel about the people continually criticising me and what I would like to say back ( as illustrated above) and basically said to me that, on the craft room issue with my mum ( whom she knows very well) I needed to take a strong look in the mirror and drop the issue with my mum.


(Boy was I seething at the time and made a swift exit. I then phoned her the next morning and sent her flowers for being such an awesome friend to me and apologised if I had caused her any concern overnight by being such a mardy cow - as she was clearly right.)


As soon as someone pointed it out to me...........I was like "yea, totally valid point, I'm shutting up because that is the exact thing that drives me nuts when people do it to me." I know my mum had never said to me - I want you to stop mentioning it - otherwise it would have clocked in my head, but I had a quiet word with my mum and apologised for going on about it and said that she was to remember to tell me if I was being bullish about a particular issue that was not my business in future.


So, in my head, my logic says that if I can "hear" such a criticism and accept it and apologise and correct my behaviour - why don't other people do the same?

Georgiegirl256

codemonkey wrote: »

It's done!

Yay! :T

Half an hour to go....

Wellyboots6

Hope it went OK Georgie.

Just been to see the midwife who thinks baby is planning its escape pretty soon. Scary as we still have six weeks left until full term.

Made the decision with hubby that no one will know when it happens until we are all home and safe. I will be stressed enough without my family winding me up too. Will be interesting to see if any do come and visit afterwards. They never usually do, we are always expected to visit them.

Off sick today, didn't sleep and was uncomfortable all night. Hubby has agreed I can spend time in bed today, although I will try and get up later to spend some time with him.

I hope you are feeling a bit better today WaS, I know how awful paranoia can be.

Flybaby

Katy - so pleased you have decided to have the birthing experience that suits you and not others. You go girl!


Do you WANT people to come round yours to visit the escapee? (which they may do without warning, when house is messy, when you and/or escapee are trying to sleep? Expecting you to "hostess" etc)


I agree that there is no way people should expect you to go visit them ( but of course... they will)


How about planning a "come and meet ESCAPEE" afternoon, when you can invite EVERYONE to come at the same time for 3 hours, maybe the first Saturday afternoon after escapee arrives......... you could prepare for it now.........get in soft drinks and a few nibbles............and explain to hubby what you will need him to do before the event for you to feel comfortable............... then, when you make the phone calls to say escapee has arrived, you can also say "and we'd love for you to meet them, we are having a meet the escape afternoon on Saturday - come over." Clearly saying it is not a party and there will be no substantial food "we are new parents after all"


That might negate anyone asking when they can come and visit ( because you have already clearly told them) or expecting you to visit them ( simple answer is "I am a mum now and my focus is on looking after escapee and myself so I won't be committing to anything in the next few months until we are settled").


If you and hubby prepare for the "meet and greet" before escapee arrives and both know the plan (you can choose your outfit etc) - might alleviate some stress of post escape visitors - and if they all come at same time - hopefully they will entertain/talk to each other.

codemonkey

Arrgh. I don't know if it's just me being grumpy but a guy in my office is eating his lunch very loudly with slurping. I want to rip my arm off so I have something to throw at him!

Wellyboots6

Oooh good plan flybaby, I will discuss it with the bearded one and see what he thinks.

I suspect my family don't visit much due to the fact I hate people in my house, but that really only applies to people I don't know well. Although how they would know that I don't know as we don't talk about personal stuff really. I also live about half an hours drive away from them which I think is often used as an excuse.

His family will call round on occasion, and will willingly come if we invite them, which makes me feel more relaxed.

Little Sod is still green, and also has white stripes now too. Not sure how as he has been shut away from the painting!

Wellyboots6

Code, surely it is more productive to rip his arm off?!