Here we can all be heard for a little while

calleyw

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Well done Calley!

Not sure it is such a good idea but there you go. I am working so hard on getting better. Just hope its not rushing things.

I have spent most of the last two days just sleeping for hours on end. Not sure why.

I was given some Diazepam at the same time as my AD to help with the symptoms I got last time with the AD. I took one today as I felt I needed it.

Today has not been a good day. I just feel a bit of mess. As I said before I am still in love with my ex. And I just don't know how to stop. I know it was both our faults. he was not ready and me blowing up and getting !!!!y. I know people will say its because it still fresh that I should never say never again. But I really don't think I could deal with a relationship again.

I had nothing to eat so am going to nip up the shop and grab something to eat. That might help me feel a bit better but doubt it very much.

Yours

Calley

System

Birdie85 wrote: »

Oooh Code, thank you for introducing me to Lindy Bop, what gorgeous dresses and quite reasonably priced! I now have a wishlist as long as my arm! I'm a dress girl, I find them loads more comfortable and forgiving than trousers (small waist + big hips = trouser woes!) and people are usually pretty shocked if they see me in trousers! I have rubbish white, blotchy legs but I don't let that stop me, I wear tights most of the time; today I have my legs out but it's a knee length skirt so I'm just sucking it up for once and I doubt people are so interested in my legs to have a good look anyway!

Lindy Bop is amazing isn't it? Weirdly it was Swain who first mentioned it to it but i'm definitely treating myself to a new dress for my cousins wedding next year!

I love dresses i always wear dresses when i see Swain, its a good excuse to wear a pretty frock!

elsien

One step at a time, Calley - You can't make yourself stop loving someone. I do wonder though whether visiting him as you do is doing you any favours at the moment? Or would it feel too lonely right now to back off a bit? It can all feel a bit catch22 sometimes.

Well done on the job interview- even if it's a bit scary it's got to give your confidence knowing you can sell yourself on paper like that.

Hello to Flybaby, welcome aboard and let us know your biscuit of choice!
Adding to the good news bits I had a phonecall today from someone I'd tried to help letting me know she is now ok and happy. It was nice that she'd made the effort to let me know, and I really appreciated it. It's put a smile on my face for the evening.

Flybaby

Thanks Elsien - Ginger nuts all the way with me (and no puns of any sorts are intended there!) Although I am more of a savoury person so I can always be counted on for Cheesy breadsticks!


I have been awesomely good today and eaten an entire bowl of strawberries ( whilst watching Wimbledon on two TV's) and whilst the amount of sugar in that large bowl of strawberries may not have been great - it was better than eating through the 12 pack of crisps I (unusually) have in the house.


I am with those who talk about weight issues, chaffing issues, exercise issues etc. I am amazed at Calley having the amazing motivation to go walking when she can't sleep - Also a raving insomniac. I tried to post at 5am last night/this morning but in my sleepless stupor could not remember my password!

calleyw

elsien wrote: »

One step at a time, Calley - You can't make yourself stop loving someone. I do wonder though whether visiting him as you do is doing you any favours at the moment? Or would it feel too lonely right now to back off a bit? It can all feel a bit catch22 sometimes.

I am not seen him for a few weeks. And limited contact due to this stupid car business.

elsien wrote: »

Well done on the job interview- even if it's a bit scary it's got to give your confidence knowing you can sell yourself on paper like that.

Thank you. Not sure on that probably over qualified for the job. But its a start.

Not sure what I should say as to why I left my last job and why I have been temping. Its all mental health issues. Not sure its a good idea to bring it up at this stage. As a 2 or 3 afternoons is a start.

Yours

Calley

Flybaby

Calley - I too left my last job (voluntarily) as I felt I could no longer provide the commitment they needed what with mental health and lack of sleep issues and I am terrified of going back to work.


GO FOR IT - give it a go - a few sessions a week is a great idea - lets you test the waters so to speak to see how you cope - and if it doesn't work out - no one needs to know, just don't put it on your CV.

elsien

More flexibility? To gain a wider range of experience/develop new skill sets? Work/life balance?
Do you think your health might impact on the role, and they might need to know in the future? MH can unfortunately still have a stigma, so if you think a couple of afternoons a week will be fine for you then it's probably less important to say something to them.

Flybaby

Calley - I notice you too have been doing gardening renovations. When I return to work, I intend to say I decided to take some luxury personal time to renovate my garden as an explanation for the gap in my CV and I have the before and progress pictures to prove this ( and hopefully one day a finished picture too!) Could you use such a reason for your interview?

System

calleyw wrote: »

I am not seen him for a few weeks. And limited contact due to this stupid car business.



Thank you. Not sure on that probably over qualified for the job. But its a start.

Not sure what I should say as to why I left my last job and why I have been temping. Its all mental health issues. Not sure its a good idea to bring it up at this stage. As a 2 or 3 afternoons is a start.

Yours

Calley

It's entirely up to you as to what reason you give.
Personally i said i had a period of ill health (i had a 3 1/2 year gap to explain so thought it better to be honest), i've no doubt it may have actually cost me a few interviews but the job i had before my breakdown, i never declared my MH problems so when i ended up ill it was handled very badly. My current employer i was up front with and thye've bent over backwards to help me, though i know sadly that's less than usual for some companies.

You ahve to try and focus on all if your good points, and sell yourself. Coping with an illness actually i think takes a remarkable amount of strength, plus i told them that in turn it had made me more compassionate and considerate of others, which would translate well working in a team etc, stuff like that. Try and turn it into a positive.

It's hard to stop loving someone, when i found out my ex had moved on it hurt a lot. I was hurt that he'd met someone else so quickly (though he first met her many years ago), and in the end i felt no contact was for the best. You can't be friends with everyone. Sometimes when people walk out f your life it's for good, and though it hurts in a way them not being a part of your life may open up the chance for someone better to be n your life later on. I'm only good friends with one ex out of all my relationships. But even then at the start i needed space to process my feelings as i still loved him. It was only after i stopped loving him, and felt i'd be ok with him being with someone else, that we were able to be friends.

Also welcome flybaby! :wave:

calleyw

elsien wrote: »

More flexibility? To gain a wider range of experience/develop new skill sets? Work/life balance?
Do you think your health might impact on the role, and they might need to know in the future? MH can unfortunately still have a stigma, so if you think a couple of afternoons a week will be fine for you then it's probably less important to say something to them.

A couple of afternoons is a way for me to re-start my life and a routine.

In know it has a stigma. I have a so called friend who I have known for years. And they know the history and why I am not well. Today when I said that I had got up and dressed but had spent the day led on the bed. They called me lazy bones!!! I called them out on it and they said they were joking. I said that if I had a birthmark on my face would it be ok to joke about that?

Then they said that they would not make jokes when I am moody. !!!!!! being depressed is not being moody!!

I just despair of some people.

Yours

Calley