Here we can all be heard for a little while

sofarbehind

calleyw wrote: »

Part of my issues is that I think that certain things I do will harm people. I know very stupid. When I went to see a counselor a few weeks ago and I said about not driving as I said I was scared of knocking someone over and and he said have you ever. I said no. But thats the way I am am. Not happy with it.


Yours

Calley

I am too scared to drive! I've managed to avoid it by living close to work. I am going to have to buy a car soon to and drive there and I'm dreading it. I'm even scared of buying the car. I've had a few refresher lessons but I am terrified. I think I am really frightened of causing an accident. I panic when I'm in an unfamiliar area about getting in the wrong lane. Oh and roundabouts :eek:, I prefer maggots. I think you're doing really well to be driving despite your fears. I worry about other people being careless and going too fast. If the roads were full of careful people like you I'd be less scared of them:rotfl:


I really wouldn't worry about the maggots, it's just the time of year and the pesky flies being everywhere.

Pyxis

sofarbehind wrote: »

I am too scared to drive! I've managed to avoid it by living close to work. I am going to have to buy a car soon to and drive there and I'm dreading it. I'm even scared of buying the car. I've had a few refresher lessons but I am terrified. I think I am really frightened of causing an accident. I panic when I'm in an unfamiliar area about getting in the wrong lane. Oh and roundabouts :eek:, I prefer maggots. I think you're doing really well to be driving despite your fears. I worry about other people being careless and going too fast. If the roads were full of careful people like you I'd be less scared of them:rotfl:
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I've posted about this before, but I'll repeat it for you, Sofarbehind!

There was a 20-year gap between me passing my driving test and buying a car. There came a time when, like you, I had to have a car to get to work. I, too, was absolutely terrified! Like you, I had some refresher lessons. However, there came the time when I just had to go and do it. It was a 15mile journey each way, along a variety of roads......side roads, main roads, a dual carriageway and country roads.
Each day I would set off really, really early, before there was any appreciable traffic on any road. That way, I could take my time and not feel pressured, and get used to the car and to the roads. I'd arrive unbelievably early, but would go and have a couple of coffees in a cafe!
Of course, driving home, there was more traffic, but there was no pressure to be home at a certain time, and I didn't leave during the rush hour.....I worked longer hours, or did my shopping first, before setting off.
Those very early starts on empty roads really helped me, and as I got to know the roads, I could feel my confidence growing.

It took a few weeks, obviously, if not months, but to be honest, I'm pleased I had that necessity to do it, otherwise I'd have been scared of driving for much longer., as I would have kept putting off doing it.

I put off tackling motorways for a year, but then had the chance of three weeks work 40miles away, along a motorway. Again, I left ridiculously early, nothing on the motorway, and on my first trip, stuck to 50 in the slow lane all the way. Gradually, again, my confidence built up, and I was able to overtake a car! And do 60! By the end of the three weeks work, I could do 70, and overtake in the fast lane! Now, motorways are my favourite roads!

sofarbehind

Pyxis wrote: »

I've posted about this before, but I'll repeat it for you, Sofarbehind!

Each day I would set off really, really early, before there was any appreciable traffic on any road. That way, I could take my time and not feel pressured, and get used to the car and to the roads. I'd arrive unbelievably early, but would go and have a couple of coffees in a cafe!

Those very early starts on empty roads really helped me, and as I got to know the roads, I could feel my confidence growing.

Gradually, again, my confidence built up, and I was able to overtake a car! And do 60! By the end of the three weeks work, I could do 70, and overtake in the fast lane! Now, motorways are my favourite roads!

Thank you so much for posting that Pyxis:T I didn't see your previous post about it. I think that is a really good idea to take some of the pressure off. Hopefully it will get a little easier every time. My non-driver status is a long standing joke among my friends and I laugh along with them but I am genuinely TERRIFIED. It's embarrassing because a lot of people see it as an essential life skill. I've used money as a valid excuse for a long time and if work wasn't forcing me to move I would be happy to stay as I am. :rotfl:Strangely enough it will also be a 15 mile commute. I will have at least 3 months before it happens so I will potter on with the lessons and try to build some confidence.


It's really encouraging to hear from someone who has been through the same thing and can now overtake on the motorway! :eek:

Pyxis

sofarbehind wrote: »

Thank you so much for posting that Pyxis:T I didn't see your previous post about it. I think that is a really good idea to take some of the pressure off. Hopefully it will get a little easier every time. My non-driver status is a long standing joke among my friends and I laugh along with them but I am genuinely TERRIFIED. It's embarrassing because a lot of people see it as an essential life skill. I've used money as a valid excuse for a long time and if work wasn't forcing me to move I would be happy to stay as I am. :rotfl:Strangely enough it will also be a 15 mile commute. I will have at least 3 months before it happens so I will potter on with the lessons and try to build some confidence.


It's really encouraging to hear from someone who has been through the same thing and can now overtake on the motorway! :eek:

As you've got three months, I really recommend the very early morning trip as dummy runs maybe twice a week. Come straight back home again! That way, you'll already know the roads when you start work. It's great at this time of year, because it's even light at 5am! Pick calm, dry mornings, and give yourself a reward at the end of each trip.

Also, when you get your car, have another refresher lesson in your own car. My instructor insisted I did after I'd had about four in her dual-controlled car.

sofarbehind

Pyxis wrote: »

As you've got three months, I really recommend the very early morning trip as dummy runs maybe twice a week. Come straight back home again! That way, you'll already know the roads when you start work. It's great at this time of year, because it's even light at 5am! Pick calm, dry mornings, and give yourself a reward at the end of each trip.

Also, when you get your car, have another refresher lesson in your own car. My instructor insisted I did after I'd had about four in her dual-controlled car.

Thank you. You're right, it would be good to get some very early morning practice. I've had a few lessons at 7am on Sundays, which was nice because it's so quiet then. I'm going to do pass plus I think because it covers motorways and night driving, which both sound horrific. My commute feels a bit ambitious to practice at the moment but perhaps I just need to push myself. I am really freaked out by roundabouts at the moment so we're focussing on them.


It's a good point about the time of year. I need to get on and practice while it's light! I'm putting off the car because I hope I might applying for a mortgage very soon. As soon as that's done I need to get on with it. I find it easy to make excuses and have even thought I could cope with the two hour public transport journey each way if I had too...:eek: I am going to just force myself..

calleyw

Afternoon my lovelies,

Hugs and duvet forts for everyone who needs them.

I need both. Not going to go in to what has happened but I am not happy and have done and said some things that I can't take back. And hurt someone I care about a lot. I am not happy with my behavior yesterday. Don't think they are going to talk to me again ever. Its all my own fault. I will let the dust settle for a few days and then try and contact them.

So I admitted defeat and got an appointment this afternoon with a dr and asked to go back on anti-depressants. So I started back on them today. I told the Dr I am not working at the moment he asked me what I am doing for money :rotfl: I said using my savings.

I don't know how to deal with impulsive side in me. When I get wound up I just do stuff I would not normally do. Say and text horrible things and jump in the car and turn up on peoples door steps and rage at them. Keep ringing. !!!!!! am I doing. Thats not like me. Believe it or not I am normally a shy and quiet person.

I want to get better. I want to go back to work and have a normally loving relationship with someone who thinks I am fab!!!!!

Yours

Calley

calleyw

Who was it on here who said they like to do colouring in.

Looks like you are not the only ones.

See here

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

Hugs to all that need them today. I am going to be quiet for a while because I am having a bad day with lots of strange thoughts. Don't worry, a lot is PMS which has triggered an imbalance, it will pass. I just don't trust myself not to say anything weird! I'll be in the fort with a cuddly penguin.

Edit- I am the one with lots of colouring books, Calley which were bought for me by the lovely people here! I am colouring a picture right now!

System

Calley, i can understand the wanting to go back to work and wanting a relationship and feeling "normal" for lack of a better word. That's exactly where i was 2 years ago. I just wanted to feel ok and get back to doing things. But it took a long time to get there. However i don;t think its a bad thing, you need to give yourself time, time to heal, time to let the meds kick in, take one day at a time.

I can be quite impulsive myself (more on that later.....) and sometimes when you're impulsive you do and say things you don't mean to do. If i find i am irritable and snappy, i make myself count to ten before i do or say anything. Doesn't sound like much but those 10 seconds usually make me stop and think. And sometimes it can help me avoid saying/doing something silly. I was upset last night and nearly took it out on Swain, but i stopped myself, because i paused and thought about how it wasn't his fault and how it wouldn't be fair to take it out on him. Next tim you feel impulsive, or angry, can you take a bit if time before you react? Just to process how you feel? It might help a bit.


edit: WaS, sorry you're having a tough day (damn PMS!) , look after yourself and know we're here if you need to chat or for (((hugs))) or if you need some bisuits in the fort!
- - -

I've been a bit impulsive today and gone and bought a hello kitty duvet set! I didn't really need it but i was in one of those "sod it i feel like treating myself" kind of moods But i was also good and posted a thank you card to my Grandma as she kindly gave me some money, and i've posted off all the info for the tax credits people.

(this is my bed now i may have a slight obsession brewing)

calleyw

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

If i find i am irritable and snappy, i make myself count to ten before i do or say anything. Doesn't sound like much but those 10 seconds usually make me stop and think. And sometimes it can help me avoid saying/doing something silly.

I try to but get so het up and emotional. Last night I got so wound up that I was sick.

I think I need to give myself a good telling off before I do anything. And work out the pros and cons before I do anything in haste.

Not easy to do but the best thing to do before I act me thinks.

Yours

Calley