one day at a time

edited 3 May 2017 at 7:33PM in Debt free diaries
972 replies 94.9K views
safehousesafehouse Forumite
710 Posts
Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
edited 3 May 2017 at 7:33PM in Debt free diaries
I am a 48 year old mother of one DS, I have a mortgage of 100,000 on my little bungalow and a few other debts CC etc of approx 5,000 or less..................
We have a wonderful DS. We have a quite successful business (for now anyway)………
My OH is a functioning alcoholic, (there I said it), too look at him you would never know, and probably never believe it. When sober there isn't a better man walking, he is a hard worker, kind, considerate and a fantastic father. When he drinks, which is most evenings he can be all of the opposite. Don't get me wrong we do sometimes still have good days, especially when OH is on the wagon, but many more bad than good....
I have been trying now for years to help my OH with his problem, his health has suffered but he refuses to stop. Xmas 2015 gave me the strength to take a massive step backwards, I am exhausted with it him mentally and physically, not to mention the affect this was having on my DS.
OH can only help himself, it is not my duty and it has taken me a long time for me to accept this, but I finally have................I am now putting myself and my rock my DS first.
Future protection in mind, I have been saving without his knowledge now for roughly 10 years scrimping with the intention of paying off our mortgage "My life the last 10 years have given me a terrible fear of being homeless to the point of constant nightmares".....To my amazement I have managed to secretly save £63,550 to date....(69,140 updated 19th November 2016)
These are my reasons for wanting to pay my mortgage off as quickly as possible, I have no idea how long my OH will manage to carryon working or how much longer before our little business will crumble or how long the relationship will take the strain, I just know by focusing on saving for our future and my little house I get back a sense of control which helps get me through each week.
I also have a diary to help keep me in check when tempted to spend and a place to throw out my emotions when I feel like I am falling backwards…………………


DS 270…. CC 3,950 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£63,550/72,420 paid £36,450/27,580 remaining….Xmas Hols £0
«13456798

Replies

  • safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    So far spend free day, but I have agreed to go to the bingo tonight received a text and the main session books are free so have to go don't I haha, cost of about £6, really a cheap night out, as I will be drinking free drinks all night from the water fountain and have made myself a nice little turkey sandwich. Also started the save a pound a day challenge accept doing 2 pound a day, should add up nicely for xmas. Haven't done to bad as regards to my to do list OCD well happy :
    clean bathroom DONE
    hoover through DONE
    Clean kitchen DONE
    mop through DONE
    polish DONE
    Cook dinner. DONE
    Cook tea. DONE
    ironing loads DONE
    Post teabay jacket DONE
    list for teabay items
    walk dog DONE
    Empty green bin and bag up leaves from last year yuck not nice but DONE
    Wash dog after she rolls in gungy leaves from last year again not nice but DONE
    nice hour nap on my way
    CC 5,980 mortgage £29,570
  • safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    quick update, yippee won £30 tonight so minus £6 cost for bingo books, £20 to come off debt tomorrow. I might just go mad with the £4 I have left. This is a new thing for me usually would blow the lot so need to stay focused tomorrow. goodnight diary, goodnight everyone
    CC 5,980 mortgage £29,570
  • Welcome Safehouse :wave: ...dying to know what you went mad on for £4 :)


    Congrats on the win!:beer:


    Just popped in to say hi your not alone :D


    Well done for starting the diary :T
    Grocery challenge Feb £107/£100-epic fail due to cake and biscuits
    🌟
  • edited 27 May 2015 at 8:28PM
    safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 27 May 2015 at 8:28PM
    Hello, thank you for your lovely replies. I love this site it really helps to keep me focused and I actually look forward to writing down what I’ve done, good or bad, also what I have saved and how I have saved, well gives me a chance to waffle on and sound off so it’s my invisible friend haha. Finally phoned advertising company and downgraded business adverts savings of £30 month, great saving, so very pleased. Also bidding on a pair of trousers I listed on teabay up to £4.99 all helps. Yes…. I did pay £20 off my CC from my bingo win last night as promised, so well done me. I also took sandwiches and drinks for myself and my ds, it was lovely sitting in the sunshine for lunch and also helped to sway him away from asking me for the dreaded fast food fortune hunters, so another plus. We did however end up in the shopping centre a very bad place to go when you shouldn’t spend I know, especially with ds, but did only spend around £7 and only on essential’s oops and cakes. Nearly forgot had super spend of £2 in charity shop, cant resist this shop have to walk past it every day on my way home so have to pop in, managed to get lovely 12 piece set tea set for £1.50 and what was a cute doggy toy until my little westie got her teeth into it, bad girl ……..
    My to do list today:
    Went shops, cheap essentials only before big shop DONE
    Hoover through DONE
    Mop DONE
    Polish DONE
    Cook tea DONE
    Phone yellow DONE
    Cleaned ds room and bathroom yikes and he thought was clean DONE
    Change bedding DONE
    Walk doggy moo / started to rain


    Goodnight diary, goodnight everyone happy saving ……..
    CC 5,980 5,960 mortgage £29,570
  • edited 5 June 2015 at 6:00PM
    safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 5 June 2015 at 6:00PM
    Short break to Blackpool, and lots of money spent, so fresh start and now focusing on a spend free June. Have to get mortgage amount under 27,000 by end of the month…….. made a mistake on previous posts had mortgage total at £1,940 more than it should have been, how I managed to work out at that total I have no idea, must have been stress head, but lovely surprise..................CC gone up by £10 instead of down, very bad of me, must cut up that card.........
    £2 a day challenge now up to £24.00.

    To Do List:
    Hoover through DONE
    Washing DONE
    Ironing
    Do shopping DONE
    Casserole for tomorrow DONE
    Mow lawn to front DONE
    Cut back bushes/ Sweep side path DONE
    Mow back garden
    Sweep/clean patio DONE
    List teabay

    CC 5,970 MORTGAGE 27,630
  • safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Well my only upsides to date is my £2 a day challenge which is now up to £28.00.

    Now on to the downsides, yes I have been very silly and lots of downsides, firstly spent £24.99 on clothes rack for DS as his snapped and he has more clothes than Gok Wan, my ocd was causing me to almost tremble every time I walked into his room, clothes freshly washed and ironed just sprawled all over, nightmare. Second spend, this a necessary purchase as DS has laryngitis and humidifier for his room definitely needed in this weather, soooo another £39.99 ouch.
    Friday night £10 down the drain online bingo, then again Saturday night so another £20 wasted. This is my worst regret of the weekend hating myself at the moment. I haven’t used any online gambling sites for almost 2 months so angry and disgusted in myself again……..
    Third spend at carboot this morning, bought a lovely bag for £4.50 shouldn’t have, but thinking straight had gone right out of the window by now. I did stick to my £5 spend however and found a lovely top from nexty only 50p.

    Also used CC yesterday has now gone up by a further £6.84, why can’t I cut that blooming card up once and for all. My water bill plonked through the door also yesterday with an all mighty thud for £77.82 I had totally forgot about that so backward step again. £96.82 spend this weekend BAD, but helps by writing it down. I am going to have a nice nap then search out some teabay stuff to sell, that might make me feel better. Goodbye Diary see you soon……..

    To Do List:
    Hoover through DONE
    Mop kitchen DONE
    Clean bathroom DONE
    Washing DONE
    Ironing 3 quarters DONE
    Mow lawn to back garden DONE
    List teabay

    CC 5,976.84 MORTGAGE 27,630
  • edited 11 June 2015 at 2:49PM
    safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 11 June 2015 at 2:49PM
    Cc 5,976.84 mortgage 27,590
  • safehousesafehouse Forumite
    710 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hello diary, well another £200 I have managed to slice off my mortgage, so £27,390 a much nicer figure. Food Shopping day today, but shocked and stunned as I managed to just go over budget by only £4.00 normally go over budget by atleast £20.00 and I also managed to find some very good deals, H bargains and herrons to the rescue. Fridge looks full as well, we will see how it lasts. No cafe visit and £1.80 spend on tea , made my own when I got home, much cheaper. Sold a dress on teabay only £3.00 profit but hey all helps. £15 paid off CC , slowly chipping away.Now for the downfalls in the day, sweet white very expensive doggy of mine needs another visit to the vets, yep another water infection, cost me £80 only 3 weeks ago same problem £40 of that for medication alone, people pay less for there prescriptions. Good news is might be covered, phoned doggy insurance and looks like I probably wont have to pay anything this time round as they have already taken first £65 3 weeks ago and the condition is still the same, fingers crossed for my molly moo to get better and the insurance to cough up.
    To Do List: Not done very well today, sunshine slows me down
    Doggy walk DONE
    Hoover through DONE
    Mop kitchen DONE
    Clean bathroom
    Washing DONE
    Ironing
    shopping DONE
    List teabay
    Cc 5,962.13 mortgage 27,390 my £2 a day now up to £40.00.
  • Making progress safehouse, well done!

    Pets always manage to come up with something helpful, don't they?
    Xmas 2016 #67 £0/£365
    LBM £29,598 :shocked: (29.05.15) DFD June 2021
    29.12.15 - B/card 1 £6813 B/card 2 £3575 Virgin CC £13658 Loan £5842 Next £0 OD £200
    20.06.15 - B/card 1 £4139 B/card 2 £4025 Virgin CC £13100 Loan £7303 Next £58 OD £200
    Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5256548
  • SkinnylatteSkinnylatte Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Debt-free and Proud! Home Insurance Hacker!
    Hi I've subbed to your diary. Well done for you starting one, great going. I wish my mortgage looked like yours !!
    I also have a teen with expensive clothes habits that I find hard to say no to :o
    Good luck, I look forward to your progress
    Pay off Car Loan £17,047 £10580 by Christmas 2022

    Mortgage 1 @ 23/03/2019 [STRIKE]£101297[/STRIKE]
    £84457 16.6% DI [STRIKE]£6.95[/STRIKE] £6.15
    Mortgage 2 @ 12/04/2015 [STRIKE]£136121[/STRIKE]
    £100,546 26.1
    % DI [STRIKE]£9.13[/STRIKE] £6.07
    1st LBM 02/06/2013 £[STRIKE]21595[/STRIKE] Debt Free Day 27/03/2015

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