Should I bail my daughter out again?

Former_MSE_Nick

My daughter's 23 and has a relatively poorly paid job. I've always tried to teach her to budget, but she's run up another £2,000 in debt and the bailiffs are due to come round soon. I don't want to see her go destitute but I've already had to bail her out twice before. Should I help her again?

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!

[threadbanner]box[/threadbanner]

Johno100

Wrong forum, should be in the Debt Free Wannabe or associated boards.

What hope is there when MSE can't even post in the appropriate place:mad:

samanthaknd

MSE_Nick wrote: »

My daughter's 23 and has a relatively poorly paid job. I've always tried to teach her to budget, but she's run up another £2,000 in debt and the bailiffs are due to come round soon. I don't want to see her go destitute but I've already had to bail her out twice before. Should I help her again?

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!

[threadbanner]box[/threadbanner]

Hi there, don't mean to sound harsh but your daughter will never learn if you bail her out all the time. She is an adult now and needs to live within her means, Now if she needs a little help through rent etc. that's a different story, but if it's just a case of frivolous spending then you should take a step back.

mwarby

For £2k they're unlikely to bankrupt her... Might be worth letting bailiffs visit, just to let the reality sink in, yes it'll cost, but maybe worth it for future detterent value ?

GwylimT

I personally wouldn't bail someone out if it was due to poor money management, if they had a very low income and were struggling to cover all the basics I would happily help.

macaroni

NO - youve done it twice already and she has obviously not learnt a thing, she needs to take responsibility for her spending and suffer the consequences of living beyond her means. It sounds really harsh, and I know how hard it will be to say no, but yo have to for her and for you. Offer her support, advice & guidance how to get out of the hole she has dug herself into a 3rd time, but explain you cant afford to bail her put again ( and how many more times if she doesnt get a handle on it now?!!)

zulubabe

How about advising her to go to Citizens Advice? That way you aren't bailing her out but she shouldn't have the bailiffs round as they should help?

scotsbob

Yes she's family, your blood. What other reason do you need?

pennypinchUK

Have you explored with your daughter to get debt counselling? There may be a way for you/her to pay the most pressing debts that the bailiffs are chasing for. Then she might be able to structure an arrangement to sort out her debts and get her finances straightened out.

Tough love says you need to be firm - or there'll just be another time later.

leeparsons

she obviously thinks that the bank of mum and dad, will bail her out every time she makes a mistake. You could excuse one time, but this would be the third time. I need say no more.
She needs to learn, that there are consequences to her actions, and her living beyond her means. If you dont let her get this education for own self now, she go on and repeat this mistake, time and time again.
Some times you haft to be cruel to be kind.

tgroom57

Yes you should help, no you shouldn't bail her out.

My daughter has a 'relatively low paid job' too - with travelling time between calls she doesn't even get minimum wage and often works a 12 hour day. She lives at home and has had to learn budgeting the hard way, by calling up creditors and re-arranging what she owes. The last week of the month I often lend her money till payday, and I always get it back because I am low-income too.

You may not be able to teach her these little tricks, but you need to work out something. But first you & she need to work out if it is a cash-flow problem or a spending problem. I suspect the latter.