is my husband hiding money?

David301

I think there is something he isn't telling you regarding the money then, if it is only money that is causing you to argue there is probably a reason why it is stressing him out every time you ask about it

mumof4littleguys

Goldiegirl wrote: »

OP, aren't you able to talk to your husband at all about this?

If not, and you are as unhappy as you say you are about the situation, are you willing to spend the rest of your life like this?

We talk but it doesn't get anywhere. He refuses to tell me his finances so I cant do anything.

If I manage to try and accept things as they are I can get through this. I will not spend the rest of my life like this. One day my children will grow up and fly the nest and I will free myself of this.

fierystormcloud

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I understand what your saying but we dont argue all the time or anything and other than all this money business we get on ok so its not a miserable household. We are just like mates living together to be honest. But surely thats better than splitting?

Besides, I wouldn't be able to afford to move and he would never ever go

But you said in the post I responded to that you are not happy in the relationship and that it's awful!

You seem to have changed your mind on the state of your relationship inside of a few minutes. :huh:

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

No im not happy in the relationship. Its awful. But my children are so happy and settled and would be devastated. I think im prepared to live this life for them.

It's hard to give you proper advice when the information you're giving keeps changing every few minutes.

Guest101

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I understand what your saying but we dont argue all the time or anything and other than all this money business we get on ok so its not a miserable household. We are just like mates living together to be honest. But surely thats better than splitting?

Besides, I wouldn't be able to afford to move and he would never ever go

So you've been married a while, lost the spark, perhaps need some time away from the kids.

How about a cheap weekend away?

Also instead of arguing about money. Write down your budget and show him. Dont tell him, actually put a bit of paper in front of him, show him. And ask him why he feels thats ok?

Is there any romance, any passion. (and i dont mean just from him). Does either of you make the effort for the other?

thorsoak

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

I understand what your saying but we dont argue all the time or anything and other than all this money business we get on ok so its not a miserable household. We are just like mates living together to be honest. But surely thats better than splitting?

Besides, I wouldn't be able to afford to move and he would never ever go

Well, if you want him to continue to control your life, carry on as you are - if you were to look at Turn2us, I think you would be surprised.

But there again - if you want to continue in this way, be prepared for the control to get more and more, be prepared for him to start to undermine you with the children then carry on - you'll have to put up and shut up .....not the best way to spend your life.

I know I couldn't live that way. But each to her own.

Guest101

fierystormcloud wrote: »

But you said in the post I responded to that you are not happy in the relationship and that it's awful!

You seem to have changed your mind on the state of your relationship inside of a few minutes. :huh:



It's hard to give you proper advice when the information you're giving keeps changing every few minutes.

Probably because no-one has actually suggested they work on their marriage?!

Every time she says shes unhappy, shes bombarded with messages to leave him.

Maybe she doesnt want to leave him?! But wants to make it work??

Perhaps she wants some ideas from people on how to get a otherwise loving relationship back on track. (and not the man hating advice that started as soon as she posted the first question?!!)

:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Guest101

thorsoak wrote: »

Well, if you want him to continue to control your life, carry on as you are - if you were to look at Turn2us, I think you would be surprised.

But there again - if you want to continue in this way, be prepared for the control to get more and more, be prepared for him to start to undermine you with the children then carry on - you'll have to put up and shut up .....not the best way to spend your life.

I know I couldn't live that way. But each to her own.

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

She said theyre happy overall. They've got 4 kids, youngest is 3, so work out how long theyve been together?!

They're in a rutt, finances arent great and they need some help and support.

Not be told hes an abusive so and so and she should jump ship and be a single mum.

Glad thats good for you, but not for everyone.

mumof4littleguys

No there is no passion. Hasnt been for years. Ive done everything possible to change that, but again he refuses to discuss it.
I am not happy but it is no unbearable. If I didn't have children of course I would leave but I have 4 lives that come before mine.
He doesn't beat me or physically hurt me.

fierystormcloud

Seriously, if you are THAT unhappy, you HAVE to get away. Ask CAB or your doctor or ANYone if they have advice about refuges etc... there is a lot of help out there for women like you.

Just because he doesn't beat you, doesn't mean you should live this way. It's not fair on you OR your kids.

There is always a way out of an emotionally abusive relationship, which yours is from what you have said so far...

Guest101

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

No there is no passion. Hasnt been for years. Ive done everything possible to change that, but again he refuses to discuss it.
I am not happy but it is no unbearable. If I didn't have children of course I would leave but I have 4 lives that come before mine.
He doesn't beat me or physically hurt me.

Have you tried to seduce him?

Not being funny, but there's two equal parties in the relationship. If your love life has gone sour, he may be thinking the worst.

Poor communication is the death of a relationship. But equally lack of intimacy can stifle communication.