is my husband hiding money?

Tallulah-Belle

Hi ive just joined the forum as looking for hints and tips to save money and get prepared before we start trying for a baby but I had to check hadn't wandered into netmumsnet by mistake! Hopefully if I look for advice it wont be 'kick him out once you have the baby as youll get more money' as I've picked up here. We don't really know what is going on in the first ladies life but to suggest its abuse because she's not getting the extra spends she wants is odd. Although if you do not feel that it is safe for you and your children please contact your local women's aid centre for help

David301

I was doing some very rough maths on the way to work, and off the top of my head I managed to get very close to the £1300 miracle wage that pays for everything and lets the chap live like a king whilst keeping his wife as a slave that washes his socks for free.

Council tax 120
electricity & gas 150
Water 50
home insurance 35
supermarket 400
telephones etc 50
petrol 120
car insurance 60
road tax 20
loan 100+?
most likely credit cards min repayment 20
things i've forgotten / variable 75

Equals £1200

which would give him £25 a week free cash

The only way that the OP is going to have more money for her family is

1) go and earn more yourself
2) Husband needs to earn more
3) find out what other handouts you are entitled to that you may not be claiming

Guest101

David, I tried to do the same thing. No one listened because it didn't suit the anti male agenda

quidsy

The op has said her husband said he has around 250 pm spare cash. So either he's made a mistake & is spending over his means or your calculations are wrong.

Mojisola

David301 wrote: »

Maybe the husband is trying to keep the actual money situation from his wife a secret because it is so dire that he lives in constant dread that an unexpected bill could arrive and he doesn't want his wife to live like that. Maybe he is trying to put some money to one side as an emergency fund so that his family will be secure in such an event?

There are two sides to every story.

If so, maybe he should start treating his wife like an adult and not a child. If finances are that bad, they should be working together to reduce spending and increase income.

David301

quidsy wrote: »

The op has said her husband said he has around 250 pm spare cash. So either he's made a mistake & is spending over his means or your calculations are wrong.

She said he said that yes agree, but i cant see how that is possible on the income and average living costs, maybe we can get an explanation from OP

Mojisola wrote: »

If so, maybe he should start treating his wife like an adult and not a child. If finances are that bad, they should be working together to reduce spending and increase income.

Totally agree, however men, finances, family and logic dont always go together well.

There is definitely a lack of understanding of basic finances in this relationship which needs to be addressed so that they can both move forward towards a more comfortable life. This is up to them.

As far as he is hiding money, no, i cant see it on the wage.

mumof4littleguys

When I decided to go to work last year my husband was against the idea and when I went ahead he barely spoke to me for 2 weeks.
He told me this is all my fault for not listening to him.
He said he refuses to part with any of his money as I didn't give him any of mine last year when I was earning. I told him he had the same amount of disposable income as me last Year and if he'd been struggling of course I'd have given him money.

Please please help me. I haven't eaten or slept in days. Im losing my mind and don't know what to do.

Ive managed to get some figures together.

His monthly income for most of last year was £13054. From April last year to January this year I was earning roughly £78 per week. I did s biy of overtime here and there but not much. I changed jobs and from January this year to now ive bee

mumof4littleguys

(Sorry I pressed send)
From january this year ive been earning £94 a week. He said he got a xmas bonus of £500 and a pay rise of £450 per year.
Would they tske £80 a week from that?

mumof4littleguys

Just to make a few other things clear.
My youngest is 3. I work 3 evening a week. My children have told me on numerous occasions that as soon as I leave for work he goes to sleep on the sofa.

LannieDuck

mumof4littleguys wrote: »

His monthly income for most of last year was £13054.

I think you've made a typo in that monthly figure?