Standing up for Pregnant lady

thorsoak

No first class on trains on C-2-C line into Fenchurch Street, nor is there 1st class on tubes - which is what I thought OP was talking about.

On trains into Liverpool St, 1st class is the first three carriages as you go through the barriers - 1st class passengers carry too much cash to walk any further :-D

duchy

The one thing that is missing here is that at no point does the OP say that his pregnant lady asked or gave him any impression that she thought he should or indeed wanted him (or anyone else on the train) to offer her their seat.

His question was should he have offered - he felt there was an expectation by society that he should have done - nowhere does it say she or anyone else implied he should. His discomfort was based on how he felt not how anyone else made him feel.

We've also learnt that according to one poster a pregnant woman shouldn't be travelling on public transport at working times (despite the fact she was probably travelling to work ) but then this is the same thirty something childless woman who also thinks women shouldn't have equality in the work environment -who thinks a person who is daft enough to walk a route through London on foot -not bother looking at a map so gets sore feet because they got horribly lost *is* entitled to expect to be offered a seat. Tube strikes are always preannounced -planning your route is only common sense. Gestating a future tax payer to help support our population in our retirement is of less value than a person who gets sore feet because they don't use common sense apparently - and sore feet take priority over blood pressure issues or the risk of miscarriage if the train jerks and the pregnant woman falls.

You couldn't make it up !! Some days I feel like Alice when she fell down the rabbit hole on here ! LOL

I commuted to London throughout my pregnancy. I was huge in late summer - but some days a seat would have helped- other days I was more comfortable standing. I was generally offered a seat and appreciated it but never expected it - It was my "choice" to commute after all. The one time I got annoyed was the day a woman in her mid/late twenties decided she was going to race me to my seat- and shoved past me to get to it. I simply pointed out to her very loudly that shoving a pregnant woman out of the way to get to her seat made her look really bad and moved away(OK waddled I was very pregnant ). She squirmed under the stares of our fellow commuters for the rest of the journey. It did seem worse it was a woman doing it -not sure why but that is how it felt at the time.

As for trains - My train from Victoria to home (commuter service of 40 mins) has standard carriages with part of some carriages allocated to first class rather than separate first class coaches - and yes walk back a carriage or two and it changes from sardine city to excellent chance of getting a seat in the rush hour so not all lines are the same.

AubreyMac wrote: »

I've been told many times that London has an 'uncaring' culture but having lived her my entire life, I know no different.

. Pregnancy is (mostly, I hope) a choice and to expect (and feel entitled) others to accomodate that choice is, in my opinion, rather selfish.

This really annoyed me. I was born in London (it doesn't get more London than Kensington) and grew up there - Not all Londoners are selfish like this poster and "blame" it on living in London. In fact I'd say the commuters and the visitors tend to be the selfish and inconsiderate ones in general rather than the natives from my observations.

Chlorine7

The woman did ask someone to get up. The train in the opposite platform was clearly empty and it is pretty hard to miss the ticker telling you when the next train is leaving.

I think it is logical to get the empty train instead of asking someone to stand up for you if you need to be seated but it doesn't mean I would not get up at any other station. If I was pregnant or with a pregnant partner that is what I would do. 5 minutes is, in general, not a long time to wait even if you have an appointment elsewhere. Had she specifically asked me then I would have stood but I am of the opinion that getting on the empty would be better.

Consideration goes both ways. How do you know that the person that stood does need the seat but feels like he has to stand up so as not to travel under the glare of the other commuters? If she had taken the other train then that wouldn't have happened.

I have been told off by older people who thought I was being rude when offering a seat, I have had to wave and shout across a carriage to offer an pregnant lady a seat because I saw her and noone else did at which point the person sat by the door stood up, I have asked someone else to stand on anothers behalf. So, while I may be deemed inconsiderate in this case and maybe I absolutely am, it is just at this station people have a the option to get on an empty train or get on the busy train and if a seat is necessary then you are already pretty lucky to be at the terminal station.

I am not saying that one should never get up for someone in need of seat.

Pollycat

Chlorine7 wrote: »

I think it is logical to get the empty train instead of asking someone to stand up for you if you need to be seated but it doesn't mean I would not get up at any other station. If I was pregnant or with a pregnant partner that is what I would do. 5 minutes is, in general, not a long time to wait even if you have an appointment elsewhere. Had she specifically asked me then I would have stood but I am of the opinion that getting on the empty would be better.

That 5 minutes that you are dismissive of may have meant the difference between the woman getting another connection that may only run once an hour, making the train that she did catch a must.
You don't know why she chose to get that train, neither do we.
Only she knows.

So I disagree that it is logical to get the empty train.
If you had posted that she works in the same office as you and clearly didn't need to get the full train, I think some of the responses you've had would have been different.

Chlorine7

I was actually going to write that I am aware that it could be a train connection thing but yes, I am dismissive of that 5 minutes since she got off at a station with no connecting train stations I'm guessing it wasn't that.

Everyone else is assuming she had to be somewhere so why shouldn't the opposite assumption also be made.

Pollycat

Chlorine7 wrote: »

I was actually going to write that I am aware that it could be a train connection thing but yes, I am dismissive of that 5 minutes since she got off at a station with no connecting train stations I'm guessing it wasn't that.

Everyone else is assuming she had to be somewhere so why shouldn't the opposite assumption also be made.

Perhaps she had somebody waiting for her in a car outside the station.
As you say, you're just guessing.

Again - nobody knows but her.

I don't think anybody is assuming that she had to be somewhere, they are just disagreeing with your assumption that she didn't have to be somewhere.

lostinrates

Pollycat wrote: »

Perhaps she had somebody waiting for her in a car outside the station.
As you say, you're just guessing.

Again - nobody knows but her.

I don't think anybody is assuming that she had to be somewhere, they are just disagreeing with your assumption that she didn't have to be somewhere.

Exactly. People often go out because they are heading somewhere, and many people have a schedule of some sort. If not a train, an appointment, an arrangement to meet someone, work, any number of commitments with varying degrees of time sensitivity that...quite frankly, are everyone's own business. Personally, I'd rather be standing moving than standing staying still. Often walking to sit for just a few minutes can be more uncomfortable for me, or not.

What we each decide to do is our own business. The woman can get on whichever train, and people can establish their reaction to giving up seat or not. The justification for not giving up a seat shouldn't be ' she should get another train' though IMO. ( though personally as a non worker I do try and avoid peak services and those things like doctors appointments that are good times for workers when its possible for me to do so)

pollypenny

As the empty train was on the opposite platform, the woman might have been unable to manage the stairs or risk waiting for a possibly slow lift.

It's not long to get across to another platform.

flybynight

another from the 'my dad taught me that you give up your seat to ladies, (which obviously includes pregnant women), the disabled and anyone generally older than you' school. Which was a bit of a !!!!!! at 13 as by his definition pretty much everyone is older than you and you are therefore standing up quite a lot. I had a very amusing incident on the train once where me and a mate were travelling out for a beer or 2 and a lady got on with a baby and a toddler ( about 2'6" ish tall) we both stood up and offered her out seats, she sat on my mates seat with the baby on her lap and said, "thank you so much feel free to sit down "while pointing at the seat next to her. I was further away so told my mate to sit. imagine my relief when she then grabbed the small child and plonked it on his lap. I got to find the rest of the journey hilarious while he held the small sticky individual having a conversation about Thomas the tank.

Indie_Kid

Chlorine7 wrote: »

I was actually going to write that I am aware that it could be a train connection thing but yes, I am dismissive of that 5 minutes since she got off at a station with no connecting train stations I'm guessing it wasn't that.

Everyone else is assuming she had to be somewhere so why shouldn't the opposite assumption also be made.

How do you know they weren't connecting train stations? Most weeks I go to Newton Abbot which is rather small. If you want to go to Torquay or Paignton, you've got to change there. I live in Plymouth and unless you've caught a train going to Penzance, you've got to change there to go anywhere in Cornwall.