Standing up for Pregnant lady

Mrshaworth2b

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Oh you poor thing.

This reminds me of a time when I was in a multi storey car park lift with my friend who has R.A. She is OK (ish) some days, but struggles badly with stairs. Also there were 3 rather elderly people behind us, a mum with a child in a buggy, and an oldish lady with 2 small toddlers (maybe grandchildren?) Upshot is, that apart from me, most people in that lift NEEDED to go up in the lift, as walking 4 or 5 flights of 20 stairs would have been a huge struggle.

Well we were going from the ground to the 5th floor, and the lift stopped on the 2nd floor, and a woman was there with a man in a wheelchair, and there wasn't any room in the lift for them both (and the wheelchair) so the doors just opened and closed. As the doors were closing, she shouted up; 'you are all disgusting, using the lift when you don't need it and a man in a wheelchair has to wait for the next lift!'

Cheeky mare! How DARE she assume that nobody in that lift needed it? As I said, virtually all the people in the lift needed to use it. What a judgemental arrogant old moo.

However, it could be said that toddlers can walk up stairs so the lady with the toddlers could have walked and the lady with the buggy could have folded it and walked as well I have done this and seen this many times when waiting for a lift in town. I'm not saying that this is what I think personally I'm just giving another perspective Personally I would have just waited for the next lift but some people like to make themselves heard

itchyextremist

I generally stand up for pregnant or older people - just brought up that way

duchy

PasturesNew wrote: »

It'd depend on whether I liked her or not. If she looked like a sn0tty biatch, all glammed up and with immaculate hair, no. If she looked tired and sad and a bit glum and useless, probably, yes.

Do you like it when people judge you solely on your appearance and make assumptions about you too?

Georgiegirl256

In answer to the OP's question of would I have got up for her in this situation, then yes I would. It doesn't matter if you feel that she could have got the next train 5 minutes later. Maybe she had to be somewhere on time?

I've been brought up to have good manners, and therefore would also offer to my seat to anyone who looked they they were in need of a seat and were struggling, regardless of age. It's basic human manners. If you are fit, healthy and feeling ok, then I personally feel that you should at least offer your seat to someone who seems to be more in need of it.

I can see why people are questioning why the OP started the bread in the first place, but I also feel some people are getting on their high horses and giving the OP an unnecessarily hard time for not giving up their seat. Did you not see the part where they put they have problems with their legs? As the OP and Indie have stated, people should also remember that not all suffering/disabilities are visible. No one should be given a hard time for not giving up their seat, as you don't know what personal hardships they are going through themselves. You shouldn't judge, just because "they don't look like there is anything wrong with them, shame on them for not standing up"

LannieDuck

Yes I would have offered. Pregnancy is odd - some people are fine to stand, others really, really aren't. And sometimes it's early pregnancy that's the most difficult.

My first pregnancy I found I couldn't stand still for any length of time from about month 2 onwards. I was ok walking and moving around, but standing still on a tube - nope. Very strange.

My second pregnancy I had terrible pelvic problems and walking any distance or standing for more than a minute or two were horrible. Needless to say I avoided using the tube as much as possible.

Indie_Kid

Because of how I walk, I have been asked if I am in fact drunk.:(

I am also young. This has also led to me being questioned as to whether I need the priority seat on the bus. Along with whether I need my bus pass. you can't see the missing part of my eye or brain.

TBagpuss

I would have offered my seat if she had appeared to need it more than me.
However, the need is relevant. I can judge very accurately how badly I need to sit; I cannot judge as easily how much someone else may need to sit.

I am not old, but I do have some (invisible) issues which mean that strap-hanging, and standing in a moving tube are both difficult and quite painful for me, so if the pregnant lady wasn't in obvious discomfort I might well not offer her my seat on the basis that my need, while less visible, was probably at least as great as hers.

The one thing I find really annoying is when you give your seat up for someone and someone else steps in and nicks it. I had this on a bus recently, a very elderly man, using 2 walking sticks, and clearly not steady on his feet, got on, I offered him my seat, and then as I moved out of the way so he could sit down a young woman (who had seen and heard me offer the seat to him, and him accept) stepped past him and sat down. Fortunately she did get up again when I pointed out that I had offered my seat to the gentleman, not to her, and when she got Death Glares from most of he other passengers, but it did leave me wondering who on earth would think that was OK?
(She did not say anything to suggest she had an invisible disability or needed a seat)

lulu_92

TBagpuss wrote: »

The one thing I find really annoying is when you give your seat up for someone and someone else steps in and nicks it. I had this on a bus recently, a very elderly man, using 2 walking sticks, and clearly not steady on his feet, got on, I offered him my seat, and then as I moved out of the way so he could sit down a young woman (who had seen and heard me offer the seat to him, and him accept) stepped past him and sat down. Fortunately she did get up again when I pointed out that I had offered my seat to the gentleman, not to her, and when she got Death Glares from most of he other passengers, but it did leave me wondering who on earth would think that was OK?
(She did not say anything to suggest she had an invisible disability or needed a seat)

I was accidentally guilty of this once. I was on a bus that had pulled into the bus station. I was standing up and a guy had gotten up so I presumed he was getting off the bus. Turns out he was giving his seat up for a pregnant lady. Never have I been so mortified.

But yes, I would give my seat up to anyone if they needed it or if they asked. I do dread offering my seat to a pregnant lady, only to find out she's not pregnant..

nightsky224

I have been in the situation before, wanted to offer my seat but couldn't physically, I apologised to the person needing the seat loudly explained why I couldn't offer my seat, it soon shamed a fit and able person in to getting up!

Errata

I don't know why the OP is having a whinge as they very clearly state

I do generally give up my seat for people who need it.