Standing up for Pregnant lady

Flyonthewall

Chlorine7 wrote: »

There is a ticker that states when the next train is (as there is at any other station) and the next train was clearly empty.

I have considered the whole needs to get somewhere quicker - but if that person didn't...

Well she might not notice that (or read it properly) if she's in a rush or not feeling 100% or even just has other things on her mind and she may not catch trains often/at all to know that the ticker says that. She may have thought the train she got on wasn't as full as it was.

If the next train is 5 minutes later then would it be obvious to her it would be empty? Could she see it or does it say anywhere?

You don't know if she did need to get somewhere quicker or if any thing else was the reason unless you question her about it. So the nice thing to do is give up your seat, not ignore her or make her fill out a questionnaire beforehand to see if she deserves it!

Chlorine7

Flyonthewall wrote: »

Well she might not notice that (or read it properly) if she's in a rush or not feeling 100% or even just has other things on her mind and she may not catch trains often/at all to know that the ticker says that. She may have thought the train she got on wasn't as full as it was.

Yes, I suppose this is true.

Flyonthewall wrote: »

If the next train is 5 minutes later then would it be obvious to her it would be empty? Could she see it or does it say anywhere?

The train next train is in the platform so yes, I expect she can see it.

Flyonthewall wrote: »

You don't know if she did need to get somewhere quicker or if any thing else was the reason unless you question her about it. So the nice thing to do is give up your seat, not ignore her or make her fill out a questionnaire beforehand to see if she deserves it!

Agreed, I don't know if she needed to be somewhere quicker or not.

duchy

So you've asked everyone at work ........and now you are asking on here.

Why do you need validation?

Essentially anyone decent would offer their seat to someone they felt had greater need than they have. I've seen elderly women offer their seats to pregnant women whilst men in their twenties and thirties ignored the situation (usually one of the men then sheepishly offered their seat to the old lady though so maybe they simply didn't notice-unlike you who did notice and decided your needs outweighed her's. Only you can know if they did or not- your edit did make me laugh though)

I suspect deep down you know the right thing would have been to offer and the good guy side of you feels bad -it's the only explanation for why you want the opinion of the world and his dog- unless you are boasting about your selfishness which is hopefully unlikely.

Errata

As you're young you've obviously yet to learn you can't control other people's actions, and clearly you don't "generally give up my seat for people who need it."

aileth

It's a pretty tricky situation. I think on this occasion you can't presume that she knew the other train was there, or her reasons for getting on the fuller one. I would've offered if I saw she was pregnant and/or struggling.

I ride the tram to work, and have always given my seat up for pregnant women or elderly people.

I've had incidents where a pregnant woman, whom must have been very early on in her pregnancy, berated the whole carriageway for not offering her a seat. Everyone was very bemused, as looking at her you couldn't tell if she was just a bit chubby or first trimester.

I've had incidents where very heavily pregnant women have refused a seat, and also those that have accepted it graciously.

And as for the elderly, I've had plenty whom I've offered to and have accepted it graciously, but I've also had quite a lot who have blown their top and got completely offended over the suggestion they might want to sit down.

I think the best thing is to offer regardless and take the higher ground.

And re young men being the ones least likely to offer, don't get me started!! Happens almost daily. Older people offering to pregnant women, pregnant women offering to older people, infirm people offering to any of the above, while the young/middle aged men sit attempting to act like they haven't seen the lady in her 80s wobbling about.

duchy

Chlorine7 wrote: »

As stated: "Would you have got up for her in this situation?"

In essence how much consideration would others have.

Absolutely I would

I was raised to offer my seat to anyone in greater need than me on the bus -when I (allegedly ) grew up and was travelling on the tube and British rail commuting to work it was already an automatic response.

I realise sometimes people don't notice sometimes as we can all be a bit self absorbed on London transport but if I see someone obviously notice and not do anything I do draw my own conclusions about them .Selfish or badly brought up mainly. I wouldn't say something unless it was a desperate situation -I once saw a woman faint on the train and still no b*gger offered their seat til I shamed them (as a group not one particular person) into it. Obviously if I'd had a seat myself I'd have offered it but I was standing too.

I have noticed that when I do offer my seat up - someone else will then offer their seat to me though

southoftheriver

Chlorine7 wrote: »

There is a ticker that states when the next train is (as there is at any other station) and the next train was clearly empty.

I have considered the whole needs to get somewhere quicker - but if that person didn't...

But how do you know she didn't? And why is it any of your business which train she was on? Unless she was dictating that people move and give her a seat maybe she was happy to stand?

It seems like you want to create an issue out of nothing.

Pollycat

Chlorine7 wrote: »

Agreed, I don't know if she needed to be somewhere quicker or not.

And that is the whole point.

Do you think it's any of your business (or the people you work with) to decide which train is best for someone else?
She may have missed the previous 2 trains and been desperately late for an important anti-natal appointment.

I'm over 60 but I would give up my seat to a pregnant lady or a person who appears to be older than me - without being asked.

thorsoak

Chlorine7 wrote: »

As stated: "Would you have got up for her in this situation?"

In essence how much consideration would others have.

I most certainly would - and do - and I'm a 71 year old woman!

Soleil_lune

I would have offered. Me and my OH gave up our seats on the train for a heavily pregnant lady who was standing with a small infant the other week. Nobody else even looked at her. Me and my OH still had 40 minutes of the journey to go, (we had been sat down for 50 minutes,) and we let her and her child have the 2 seats.

We had to stand for the remaining 40 minutes, but we didn't care, as we are two fit and healthy 40-somethings, and neither one of us is heavily pregnant! She had been stood for about 4 or 5 minutes, and looked really flushed and hot and weary, and had to pick up the infant as she was stressed and tired too. She was very grateful when we gave our seats to her. She said her destination was another 90 minutes yet, and she was worrying how she was going to stand for another 90 seconds, never mind another 90 minutes!

On the way home from the station, we found a 10 pound note on the pavement. Bought us a lovely Chinese takeaway that did.

Almost like reverse karma finding a tenner an hour or so later! :rotfl: