Dear Diary Love from Rebecca

Rebecca01

Hi

My boyfriend is actually really frugal and has had never lived beyond his means.
In a nutshell. His Mother had worked hard all her life decided to buy a business. She asked my boyfriend to help and be liable with him. The recession hit. They lost the lot. They fought someone in court. Lost more and ended up in 60k business debt on a ccj. They are both paying this back at 200 a month. He has actually been recommended bankruptcy but he is just paying it back slowly.

So while it may disappear off his credit report in 6 years. The payment would still be there and asked about by a mortgage advisor or even sent to court again.

To be honest it is a single venture for me anyway . Being divorced and then a single parent . I am wary and want security for my daughter. So early days for me and boyfriend really.

bellevie

Gosh he is in a pickle.


So on your income only - which makes the best sense since you have been there before. Best bet in a nice area would be something that needs doing up a little, and things do come up, just not very often.


The plan could work, re staying at your mums until she gets into the school you want her in, gives you extra time to save up and once she is in, it doesn't matter what direction you move in as long as DD can get safely to school and back.


Cheap weekends away will break things up, like the £29 nights at premier inn, you & dd can set a plan up to visit so many cities on a budget, say one trip a month, then staying with your bf's now & then will help break up the time.


If push comes to shove, as long as a cheap place leaves you some room to save you will still get there, just might take a little longer.


Glad you are feeling better

Rebecca01

Thanks Bellevie.

I like the idea of going away once a month. I get the same school holidays as my daughter. So we usually go then. I would have to set a budget and stick to it as I find it easy to spend a few hundred quid on a trip.

I was just looking for Easter Premier inns. I want to see what my new bed will be like lol. However my ex just rang to say my daughters sisters are coming up for the two weeks. They live in Devon so she does not see them much. She is so excited. So I don't need to go away now. It is easier to be at home with parents when its just me.

The thought of staying another three years sends me into decline lol. I think the key is to not think about the timescale but just take it month by month. There's always the rental option too if needs must.

Well no NSD today as I just downloaded the new sophie Hannah book onto my kindle. My gulity pleasure.

Pondering my debt. I think I will start paying off my car loan as it is at a higher APR than my cc. I thought about leaving it and applying for a mortgage with it there. This would lower my amount though and I was thinking it would be nice to be debt free for the first time since I went to uni at 18.

We will see anyway. I seem to change my mind on a daily basis at the moment.

catriona79

Hey Rebecca,

Sad story re your bf. Great shame, but also a solid proof of bf's reliability and good character. And that's not easy to find in boyfriends, if I had to go by my experience.

Re your parents/ your living arrangements. So difficult. There's an argument for both sides. Have you worked out how much you can save each month, and how many months there are still to go until you have the desired amount?

I know that in the past, when I was too strict, I'd then go on a binge and spend a lot of what I had saved, which then sent me in a low mood. I'd have big expenses, like your bed, and then feel guilty, and be again further away from being where I need to be. So sometimes, it's better not to put yourself in a position where you spend to make yourself feel better. It's different for everyone, but it might help to identify your spending triggers. That might inform your decision about whether to stay with your parents or move somewhere cheaper with your daughter.

But on a motivational note, how many more months of saving before you get to that deposit?

Rebecca01

Hi Catriona

Thank you for the message. Nice comment about my boyfriend. I had not really looked at it that way.

I think you are right about being too frugal and binging. This is me with food too.

I can realistically save £1200 a month. I owe about 10 k with my credit card and car.

I need 5 k to get the terraced house or 30 -50k to get a semi lol.

There are older houses that come up that need doing. So really I probably need £25k.

There was actually one in my mams street that an old lady lived in a that came up for 100 k it needed gutting though, pointing on the outside and had a bit of subsidence . So needed a lot of work. Not sure I want the same street as my parents though as they would be spying out of the window to see if my car was there.:rotfl:

I took my daughter to her Dads today. He is American. He told me his mam has booked him and the three girls a two week holiday to Key largo and at her house in Carolina. So that is something to look forward to for my daughter in August.

I fancy booking something myself as something to look forward to but its right over the GCSE results day and I feel guilty not going to school. I will have to think.

I have spent too much on takeaways and chocolate eggs this week. So next week, healthy eating and 30 minutes of insanity max 30 six days a week. I love Shaun T.:D:

SmithfieldPartDeux

Hi Rebecca, thought I'd check out your DFD after you said hello in mine.

Mind me asking how much the car is currently worth? 6500 seems like a lot. Is there anyway you could get it sold, pay the difference and just have a clunker for bit that you own out right? (less debt, less payments)

If I am reading this right you have £1000 savings and £4k on the card, £3k and rid of the car debt and you would be getting very close to getting all the debt gone (plus an extra £172 a month to snowball), being 3k away from debt free instead of ten might give you that extra bit of motivation to really get it all gone in a few months. It might also be that real mental step in terms of commitment to getting to the new house and debt free.

Just a thought. Sometimes when debt is a huge number, things all seem too far away but when its closer and a smaller number its easier to get it done and smashed to bits. Other than the car debt, the rest is pretty small with your salary, just think with a written budget and you could have the credit cards gone in 3 months.

Getting depressed and thinking I'm 36 in parents bedroom and then spending, is a vicious cycle. You aren't a victim, you can really take charge of this situation and have credit cards gone from your life in few months.

You appear surrounded by people that love you from your diary, that is really positive. Money isn't everything, you are clearly very rich in other ways.

SmithfieldPartDeux

Just read your post, personally, I'd go for the 5k terrace, once debt free and then keep saving.

Gets you a place to call your own that shouldn't be too expensive, and pretty do-able short term.

Rebecca01

Thanks Smithfield.

I may well do that. I will see how I feel when I actually have that in savings. It is my daughters school that is the concern though. The terrace is on the border for catchment with a bad school and a good school . My friend who lives near there she just got a place at the bad school for her son. So thats my concern.

Also yes I do have 1k in savings. I panicked as there were reduancies at my school. I will pay this off something next month most likely. It is nice to have an emergency fund though.

My car is worth about 8k. I have thought of selling it , it is an idea.

Thanks for your post it was lovely . I feel a lot better now. I think I had a bad week.

Kitten868

The car and selling it comes down to how much you use it. As you don't use it much I would sell.
I would say yes to the holiday for lo. Sounds amazing!

Kitten868

The one in your mums road could be good though as you're in a great place to do it up - you'll be able to build it up to move over - no more waiting just building up to going. X