How to catch a thief in the house.

merlin68

Hundreds of reasons. Girls need it for homework. I need it for shopping and finding out information.
Its saved me far more money than it costs.
How else would you know about things your entitled to, i can talk to other people when i cant get out.
Most things are done online now benefit claims for starters.

Better_Days

merlin68 wrote: »

Hundreds of reasons. Girls need it for homework. I need it for shopping and finding out information.
Its saved me far more money than it costs.
How else would you know about things your entitled to, i can talk to other people when i cant get out.
Most things are done online now benefit claims for starters.

My bolding. Agree with this totally.

Information, advice, shopping, homework and as you say moving to benefit claims online. Really don't see how you can do without it nowadays.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

merlin68 wrote: »

He cant do anything that involves reading or money he cant even count change, i sent him in a shop once with a tenner and he spent a pound and come back with 4 quid so i told him to go back and ask for the correct change.
Makes him so vulnerable.
Like having another child, he does all the physical stuff and i sort all the paperwork and money etc.
Its everything though, i can tell him something and he'll come back later and not remember.
you have to tell him how to do stuff, once his in a routine of doing it his ok.

Are you absolutely certain he hadn't put it in his pocket, thinking that you'd let it go?

I knew somebody who would claim to have got mixed up with money, but would be pocketing a little bit here or there. Didnt matter whether he knew exactly how much or not, he'd know a few thick yellow coins or a note would be enough for some beers.

That person always claimed they had no capability to comprehend computers and he would never be able to learn them. Last I heard of him, he had his own laptop.


Would your OH starve to death if you were ill and your children were away at university - or would they be expected to give it all up to come and look after him for the next 20 odd years?


I've worked in adult literacy and numeracy. There's not been one who couldn't learn enough to get by if they were motivated enough to do so - the biggest barriers to learning weren't an inability to do so, it was feeling bad about it, expecting to be told they were stupid and given detentions, or, very commonly, they were comfortable with their partners mothering them. The only reason many were there was that they had been sent by the job centre when they'd got too old to work on road maintenance, muck out the animals or heft boxes of bananas about at markets. But they learned. And they learned very quickly, once they stopped and actually listened, watched and did it, as often it's presenting things in a way they can process it that makes the difference.

For example, if he can count already, five pound coins in a row. One two three four five. You spend one, he slides that away. How much is left? One two three four pounds.

If he resists, saying he's being treated like a child, well, they use these methods with children because they work. I've had lessons where division has meant my frantically drawing cartoons showing sweets or presents being shared. I've shuffled from left to right to explain place values changing and up and down steps to show how number lines work. And I've shown people that I count on my fingers to work things out. Because it's not something to be embarrassed by. And it can be dealt with at any age. It's even free, not out of the kindness of the government's hearts, it's because it's worth paying for.

Quite frankly, if he's learned to walk and he's learned to talk and to not drink from the bottles under the sink, he's got the ability to learn.

The money's annoying, yes. But, to me, the fact that you are having to look after a fully grown man as you would a toddler, is far more pressing a concern.

j.e.j.

I think to be fair it sounds like he's what they used to call ESN, which is (imo) a more honest way of describing it than the rather wooly-sounding "learning disabilities", which can mean anything. A lot of people with learning disabilities are actually quite bright!

My cousin was/is ESN and she can't look after herself, and she certainly can't read or handle money. She needs her mum all the time.