Help husbands left me and 3 kids no money

FBaby

Why in a case of acrimonious separation, does it have to be that one of the other of the couple are a horrible selfish and spitful person?

In most case, it is frustration that leads people to separate. Frustration for not being to communicate any longer, that neither want to the same things any longer, or most often that one believe the other owe them to change in one way or the other and the change doesn't take place.

OP (I am also guessing they are the person referred to) is clearly angry, but that doesn't mean they are a dreadful person that deserved to be left. Similarly, her ex might have had good reasons for leaving the marriage that doesn't mean he is evil.

I hope OP finds it in herself to get over the anger and pain and move on from wanting to punish her husband.

superflygal

Thanks guys some good ideas, i will pass them on!

I obviously didn't state her ex husband was cheating on her with this new girlfriend. He had mo contact with my pal or kids for three months after he left. He said he was leaving as he was "stressed" . He made first contribution 4 months after leaving. No backpay.

Sfg x

superflygal

j.e.j. wrote: »

Are they getting divorced? She should get a good solicitor, imo. She may not have been contributing to the household financially, but she has been looking after the three children and the house, and enabling him to live the life he wanted. Take him to the cleaners!

Love it!! Ill tell her this! Cheers J. E. J XX

Mojisola

j.e.j. wrote: »

Take him to the cleaners!

This will make the solicitors on both sides rich and the separating couple much poorer.

Try to be reasonable and get things settled quickly.

Pollycat

superflygal wrote: »

I obviously didn't state her ex husband was cheating on her with this new girlfriend. He had mo contact with my pal or kids for three months after he left. He said he was leaving as he was "stressed" . He made first contribution 4 months after leaving. No backpay.

Sfg x

Actually, you did say (from your first post):

superflygal wrote: »

It was a real nightmare when he left her for someone else (although he denied this rigorously at the time)

The fact that he cheated on her and left her for someone else won't be taken into account.

Try not to encourage her to be too vengeful (I know from seeing friends in the same position how much it hurts) but she needs to move on and do the best for her and her children.
And wanting to 'take him to the cleaners' is not the right way to rebuild her life.

Seanymph

Nor to ensure he has a future, positive relationship with his children.

kingfisherblue

The courts will take into account the fact that she has been at home, bringing up the children. However, this is as a starting point of dividing everything 50:50. It does not mean that the court will expect her to continue to stay at home and rely on spousal maintenance (which is, as has already been said, rare in this country). She will now be expected to move her life forward, albeit as a single parent. This means either finding work or claiming benefits, whichever is most appropriate to her circumstances. If she claims benefits, she is entitled to Income Support until her youngest is five years old. After that, she will be transferred to JSA and will have to fulfil the requirements of job searching. This is, of course, assuming that she is not caring for someone ill or disabled and claiming Carer's Allowance.


Even if she chooses to work, she may still be entitled to some benefits such as Child Tax Credits. She should put in any claims that she intends to, and move on. Relying on her ex partner is not an adult way to behave, and will mean that she is constantly short of money. Any maintenance that she receives from her ex (the £360 that he is paying) must be declared, but will not be counted as income.

Pollycat

I've just reread the first post and strangely there's no mention of the house the OP's friend is living in:

duchy wrote: »

If the business is failed and she's getting less than £400 in child support -then she should be claiming child benefit , Income support or JSA and housing benefit if the property is rented (and if owned who is paying the mortgage?) and council tax benefit and the single occupant allowance.

I would have thought that that would be a major thing to want to get advice on and get sorted out.

duchy

Sounded odd to me too . I wondered if the husband is still paying this too

Spousal maintenance is meant for women who basically are incapable of supporting themselves (for example a woman in her fifties who has never worked but married young and has no qualifications and has never worked and is literally unemployable and incapable of supporting herself ). It's a bit of a throwback to the past as women nowadays have access to training courses and childcare is widely available so few women wouldn't be able to retrain or find some kind of a job . Just wanting to be a SAHM isn't enough reason to be awarded it by a court in most cases.

peachyprice

superflygal wrote: »

Love it!! Ill tell her this! Cheers J. E. J XX

You'll pass on the worst piece of advice on the thread? Says is all really.