Help husbands left me and 3 kids no money

superflygal

Dear Msers

Posting for my dear pal

Husband left last June , my friend has 3 kids under 10, She has no Job as she has a business that was in its infancy and hasn't been able to make a success of it due to being in such distress after her husband decided he was unhappy and walked out.

He has given her since October £360 a month of his own accord. She contacted the CsA 2 weeks ago, the CsA said 271.75 is all she is entitled to based on his declared income of £18,000 he failed to make contact on 5 occasions with CsA. He has given her no spousal maintenance. She found out he is not earning 18,000, he is earning 35,000 plus 2,000 bonus. She found this out by googling the job on indeed and monster.

I wondered if any kind folk could advise what she should do. She has a little baby as well as two young kids and I worked out he is earning 2314 a month after tax and his new girlfriend is earning 30,000 a year gross salary she has no kids. To give his wife and child 360 a month is an insult.

She wants spousal maintenance backdated to last June and child maintenance also if possible. To clarify, she is a brilliant mum and was a lovely wife who drove her husband (who got himself banned from driving for drinking and driving) to work 50 miles each day and back. It was a real nightmare when he left her for someone else (although he denied this rigorously at the time)

He has no real contact with the kids and has moved 400 miles away.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Sfg x

kingfisherblue

superflygal wrote: »

Dear Msers

Posting for my dear pal

Husband left last June , my friend has 3 kids under 10, She has no Job as she has a business that was in its infancy and hasn't been able to make a success of it due to being in such distress after her husband decided he was unhappy and walked out.

He has given her since October £360 a month of his own accord. She contacted the CsA 2 weeks ago, the CsA said 271.75 is all she is entitled to based on his declared income of £18,000 he failed to make contact on 5 occasions with CsA. He has given her no spousal maintenance. She found out he is not earning 18,000, he is earning 35,000 plus 2,000 bonus. She found this out by googling the job on indeed and monster.

I wondered if any kind folk could advise what she should do. She has a little baby as well as two young kids and I worked out he is earning 2314 a month after tax and his new girlfriend is earning 30,000 a year gross salary she has no kids. To give his wife and child 360 a month is an insult.

She wants spousal maintenance backdated to last June and child maintenance also if possible. To clarify, she is a brilliant mum and was a lovely wife who drove her husband (who got himself banned from driving for drinking and driving) to work 50 miles each day and back. It was a real nightmare when he left her for someone else (although he denied this rigorously at the time)

He has no real contact with the kids and has moved 400 miles away.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Sfg x

A couple of points. Firstly, spousal maintenance is rare in this country and I doubt if she will be entitled to it. I wasn't, and I'm carer for our disabled child.


Secondly, job adverts are not always accurate when it comes to wages. It is possible that his firm does not pay him as much as £35000.


Thirdly, his new girlfriend's income is of no concern to your friend. It has nothing to do with her what the other person earns. It is not taken into account for CSA purposes.


Your friend has, I assume, applied for Income Support (she will be entitled to this as she has a child under 5). She can also apply for child tax credits, housing benefit/LHA (if renting), council tax support (and single person's discount). She will receive free prescriptions, eye tests and dental treatment if she is on IS.

Gigglepig

I am sorry to hear about your friend's situation.

If the ex is not declaring income I'm not sure what your friend can do apart from asking to have his income reassessed. But I don't understand how she could find out his salary on indeed/monster - even in the same company for the exact same role people are not necessarily paid the same.

Spousal maintenance does not seem to be that common, and your friend may wish to take legal advice regarding that.

Is there any reason why she cannot get a job and support herself, once the baby is old enough for nursery?

sarahevie1

I could have written this myself. My hubby left me in Oct last year. We have 3 kids under 6. I get a private arrangement not CSA, he has paid this consistently. I get no spousal maintenance, nor would I expect.

The welfare state is there if you choose this route, income support, housing benefit, tax credits etc. Personally I work 6 days a week. Have no family close by so look after the kids solely. They're my responsibility, I knew this from the moment they were born.

specialboy

Why did she contact CSA if he was already paying for his kids?

sarahevie1

specialboy wrote: »

Why did she contact CSA if he was already paying for his kids?

Suspect she wanted to make it more official so more secure payment. If my child maintenance stops I'd have to via CSA. At the moment I don't need the bureaucracy as its working ok .

maman

It's hard to comment without knowing his specific job but unless it's something with a fixed national pay scale and she's certain where he is on this then anything else is speculation as jobs vary so much.

superflygal

His payments have been sporadic. A lot of b$$$$$t and "i have no money" statements whilst simultaneously enjoying luxury holidays with new woman. I just want her to be looked after. She works really hard looking after the 3 kids. Why should this scumbag live the life of riley while she slaves away trying go make ends meet. Its a sure sign of a sexist society if the man gets to please himself whilst the wronged wife suffers after being nothing but a brilliant, faithful and loyal wife.

sfg x

superflygal

I am sure she will get a job once the baby is old enough. She has not claimed any benefits and has no desire to. Shd is still married to this man hence my question as to his legal obligations as husband

sfg x

sarahevie1

Hardly living the life of Riley, hes not living with his kids anymore. It depends if you perceive the so called luxury holidays as more important than having the privilege of raising the kids. I know which I'd take.

It does sound jealousy about his financials without having anything accurate to go on. The new partner could be funding the hols, there's no evidence of his wage, job adverts isn't a clear indicator.

Instead of focusing on how he's so much better off and she's hard done by, focus on where he's hard done by and how she is better off, it helps the bitterness believe me.

CSA amounts may seem low and an insult. However that's the system. The same system that pays for people to raise their kids without having a job until the child turns 5.

Its not easy when you believe you have been the dutiful wife, but unfortunately he didn't feel the same, she has to come to terms with that in order to move on. It isn't easy, I'm going through it myself but it is the reality.

How old is the baby? As working is great for meeting people and self esteem I couldn't have got through it without work as a distraction.

Homeownertobe

superflygal wrote: »

His payments have been sporadic. A lot of b$$$$$t and "i have no money" statements whilst simultaneously enjoying luxury holidays with new woman. I just want her to be looked after. She works really hard looking after the 3 kids. Why should this scumbag live the life of riley while she slaves away trying go make ends meet. Its a sure sign of a sexist society if the man gets to please himself whilst the wronged wife suffers after being nothing but a brilliant, faithful and loyal wife.

sfg x

You seem to know a lot about their relationship for a 'friend'.

Perhaps there were three people in their marriage and that was a difficulty? Perhaps you just don't know everything? Or perhaps you're the alleged 'brilliant, faithful and loyal wife' in question?