Share house with new husband?

Fireflyaway

You paid for the house so it seems unfair that you could lose it if the marriage failed. Do you have kids? Does he have kids? If so that might make it easier. How would you feel if you passed away and then the house was passed to him and then his kids? That happened to a family member She died in an accident and then her husband died just 1 year later. His kids got the lot despite never having seen them for years!
I agree its not romantic but I would start from when you marry not back date stuff as you never know what could happen. People never plan to get divorced but it happens. Its not just that but what do you want to happen to the house if you die? Remember to plan for that too.

Errata

MaryJo wrote: »

I just feel like I should protect my house and not sure what to do here.

That's your gut feeling shouting at you. Listen to it, and on £70k you can easily afford very good legal advice about how to proceed.

LilElvis

Did you purchase the house yourself, or is it partly (or in whole) due to an inheritance? Given your age I would assume that an inheritance played a part. If this is the case then the money was left to you, not your partner, who had no ties to the benefactor.

Mojisola

MaryJo wrote: »

To be honest, I am quite happy with paying my £70k and his £20k salaries into a joint account, paying all of the bills from it, and each taking, say, £500 per month for 'personal expenses'.

MaryJo wrote: »

Our plan had always be to take advantage of the 'mortgage free situation' and stay in my house for a few years to save money for a deposit for a new 'marital home' together from our joint bank account.

We would then rent my house and pay that money into our joint bank account (along with our salaries).

I would stay unmarried but living together until you have the money for the new home and start married life in a jointly-paid for property.

By then, he will have had a chance to get himself established in a career and your incomes might be more equal.

You will both benefit from the rent paid for your current property.

The two of you will have had a bit longer to cement your relationship and work out how you both feel about the ownership of the house - it might not be anywhere near such an issue three or four years down the line.

Happier_Me

On the one hand I can understand your fiance's point of view - he could feel like a lodger in your house, even after marriage. But I would absolutely protect what's mine if I can and this comes from a happily married woman (together 19 years). I would suggest taking some legal advice about the best way to protect the equivalent value of your current home on marriage. That way the home and future homes could be yours equally but in the event of a divorce a specified lump sum would be allocated to you before the rest is split 50/50. Not sure if this is doable but its worth looking into.

Please don't be talked into this marriage without some protection. You bring much to the table financially, your fiance benefits from having a wife that earns a very good income who is prepared to share this with him.

In terms of managing your money after marriage, we have always pooled everything, irrespective of which of us has been the bigger earner (usually me). After 5 years this becomes a bit of a moot point anyway. I would ensure you both have the same personal spending money each month though.

74jax

We entered marriage with me having a house worth about 130k but I had a 40k mortgage on it and hubby with a 300k apartment (nor mortgage and much much more than that in the bank.

He wanted to protect his apartment should anything happen. I don't think it's unusual for you to think like this.

We also have a joint account for bills where he puts 3/4 and put in 1/4, as he earns way way way more than me.

enthusiasticsaver

I am in two minds about this. If you have a property, now mortgage free and obviously paid for before even entering into your relationship with your fianc! then very obviously it should be noted that it is yours and it is understandable you wish to protect it should anything go wrong. With the best will in the world no one goes into a marriage expecting things to go wrong but sometimes they do. Can he acknowledge the fairness of this returning to you should things go wrong?


Does he invest anything of himself into the property - ie does he do diy jobs, pay for home improvements etc etc? If so I can also see why it would gall for him to be living in a house which is yours alone. There is no easy answer to this and I think I would hesitate to rush into a marriage with such an impasse between you. In a few years time his career may have taken off a bit more and you may be in a position to buy a house together on a more equal footing. It depends on what means more to you.

bagpussbear

I feel for you as you are in a difficult situation.

When I got married, my hubby had zero assets apart from his car. The house is mortgaged in my name only, and there a fair bit of equity in it. I am aware that in the event of a divorce he could walk away with a lot of the equity and there would nothing much I could do about it.

However, he does pay towards the mortgage now, and puts in for repairs and upkeep of the maintenance of the house, so yes he should be entitled to a share god forbid if we ever divorced.

Obviously your situation is different in that the house is paid off in full, and he cannot therefore contribute to any mortgage. Your income difference is pretty big. There's nothing about the property he can really contribute to is there.

For house maintenance and repairs, are you expecting him to share those bills?

I'm a firm believer in going with your gut instinct.

Could you perhaps get something legal drawn up to keep the house separate, and then agree with your hubby that after say 3 or 5 years(?) you should have a conversation about how you both feel about the situation?

I realise he might not like that idea, as you might not change your mind!

I do understand his point of view though. Do you think if you stick to your guns he will pull out of the relationship?

Turtle

How long have you been together and how long have you been engaged? (If you don't mind me asking)

Cyberman60

My view is that you should protect what you have prior to the marriage, because that is fair. Divorce does happen.