Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

PasturesNew

GDB2222 wrote: »

I'd be interested to hear what colour that actually is. I thought moss is green, but that looks like brown?

Women and their colours, eh!

vivatifosi

silvercar wrote: »

Is this another parental responsibility of the 21st century? Completing offspring tax returns? My parents never completed mine, then again self assessment may be relatively new.

I look forward to the time when one of the boys has sufficiently complex income to be required to complete one.

I'd never leave my tax returns up to my parents. That would be worrying beyond belief. In the days that my dad did returns, and correspondingly there were real actual tax offices, he'd ring the doorbell at a minute to midnight on the day of the deadline and get the security guard on the building to take his submission. Every single time. And we wonder why there aren't tax offices any more.

ukmaggie45

PasturesNew wrote: »

I couldn't buy/wear that.... it says it's "longer length" so I'd trip over it - but then they don't say how long it actually is. )

It says the model is 5 ft 10. I'm 5 ft 2. So the thing will prob be around ankle length for me. I'll get OH to take a photo of me wearing it when it arrives.

There was just something about that long cardigan/jacket that spoke to me. I'll know in the next week if I was right or stupid. :rotfl:

GDB2222

Do you remember getting stuff when a child that had room to grow in to? Grrrrr!

ukmaggie45

GDB2222 wrote: »

Do you remember getting stuff when a child that had room to grow in to? Grrrrr!

Yes. Long dresses. Long coats. And then I did the same stuff to my girls.

But mostly they didn't mind I think - they did get it that we didn't have loads of money. We did always go bananas at Christmas though - loads of prezzies.

Generali

GDB2222 wrote: »

Smocking is very dangerous, according to Generali.



Just to save you looking back a couple of pages, this is not a reference to the risk of tetanus from a dirty needle, but a mis-spelling of smoking.

TBH I'm not sure what the risks of secondary smocking are. We should probably make this a non-smocking thread just in case in the meantime.

LydiaJ

michaels wrote: »

I think it would be a fairly unusual person who would begrudge their parents spending the money they had earned and saved...or a politician of the left....

Indeed. My dad seems to think he is merely looking after his money until he goes and it passes to us. I think it is his money, and he should spend it on whatever makes his life easier.

GDB2222 wrote: »

I actually don't want anybody other than the current DW. Perhaps your mum felt the same about her DH? Plus, there's the awkwardness about dating.

My dad feels like this. He told me that after my mum died, various people suggested he should find a new woman, but he doesn't feel any inclination to. He says he "doesn't feel the need for companionship". But then he says he was quite happy being single the first time round and never expected or particularly intended to get married. He met her, fell in love with her, and wanted to be with her, so he married her. Marriage as an abstract concept has never had any particular appeal for him.

silvercar wrote: »

My kids were explaining the rules to me. Funny how life has changed.

Apparently you can't be "going out" until formally asked to be BF/ GF and that takes a few months. Before that you are merely "seeing each other".

I foolishly asked, how much they need to see? But that is called "getting together".

Then there is some in between status that is 'seeing each other' but not exclusively so.

All sounds very complicated and makes me feel very old.

You need this kind of distinction when you are an adult.

When I was single the first time round, there were lots of single people my age, we had plenty of time for socialising with each other, and it was perfectly possible to get to know one's friends well enough to know whether one wanted to be a couple. So all you needed was "friends" (with lots of people) and "going out" (with one person at a time). Once you are an adult with a job, however, it doesn't work like that. You cannot get to know potential partners without going on dates with them. Agreeing to go on a date, or more than one date, clearly shouldn't commit you to anything exclusive or lasting, because you barely know the person when you agree to the date. Hence the "seeing each other" stage.

I don't like it really. I much preferred to get to know men while being just friends with them, so you had plenty of time to form an opinion of whether you liked them before the question of "do we want to be more than just friends" was on the table at all. Going on a date with somebody I barely know feels artificial, but it is the only way to meet possibles now that I am no longer a teenager or young adult, and my daily life can happen for months without bringing me into contact with any men who are both single and within spitting distance of my age bracket. Not that I am doing anything in that department ATM. Need to get my mental health to a less "overwhelmed and exhausted" state before any of that would be practicable.

GDB2222

Is crocheting as harmful?

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote: »

Indeed. My dad seems to think he is merely looking after his money until he goes and it passes to us. I think it is his money, and he should spend it on whatever makes his life easier.



My dad feels like this. He told me that after my mum died, various people suggested he should find a new woman, but he doesn't feel any inclination to. He says he "doesn't feel the need for companionship". But then he says he was quite happy being single the first time round and never expected or particularly intended to get married. He met her, fell in love with her, and wanted to be with her. Marriage as an abstract concept has never had any particular appeal for him.



You need this kind of distinction when you are an adult.

When I was single the first time round, there were lots of single people my age, we had plenty of time for socialising with each other, and it was perfectly possible to get to know one's friends well enough to know whether one wanted to be a couple. So all you need was "friends" (with lots of people) and "going out" (with one person at a time. Once you are an adult with a job, however, it doesn't work like that. You cannot get to know potential partners without going on dates with them. Agreeing to go on a date, or more than one date, clearly shouldn't commit you to anything exclusive or lasting, because you barely know the person when you agree to the date. Hence the "seeing each other" stage.

I don't like it really. I much preferred to get to know men while being just friends with them, so you had plenty of time to form an opinion of whether you liked them before the question of "do we want to be more than just friends" was on the table at all. Going on a date with somebody I barely know feels artificial, but it is the only way to meet possibles now that I am no longer a teenager or young adult, and my daily life can happen for months without bringing me into contact with any men who are both single and within spitting distance of my age bracket.

I understand this in an adult situation.

But these rules also apply to the kids. DS2 at uni has plenty of people to get to know without going on dates to socialise.

LydiaJ

Just got home from the staff charity curry and quiz night. Lots of fun. Our team was a complete mix of ages and subject backgrounds, which worked really well, and we won!