Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

Generali

Doozergirl wrote: »

Lol. No, they cancelled the zebra .

That reads very strangely in isolation.:rotfl:

mystic_trev

Doozergirl wrote: »

Lol. No, they cancelled the zebra .

American Dentist got there first?

zagubov

Doozergirl wrote: »

Lol. No, they cancelled the zebra .

Generali wrote: »

That reads very strangely in isolation.:rotfl:

It's definitely one of those sentences you can get quite far into the year without needing to use.:cool:

Doozergirl

mystic_trev wrote: »

American Dentist got there first?

Needs thanking more than once!

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Doozer, thank you for saying that so well.

I have to admit. I have felt alienated to the point of departure over this discussion before. Particularly from the culture from which I was brought up. While its popular to bash the Catholic Church these days, I have made clear my respect for some of what I was brought up in, and I know some would feel the same as some of the Christians here have voiced, but by no means all, including the Monsignor I feel was a guiding light in my childhood. I have recently been talking to another Monsignor in Rome, and I think a lot of Vhristians with the 'closed' attitude would be probably equally alienated by his open attitude. While I no means consider my self Christian, I do consider myself throroughly of Christian tradition ( I guess like a secular Jew) and i am very glad I had some of the more open arms people in my childhood, as I think I would be a more closed alienated person from the church otherwise.

I was brought up in a family where one parent was staunch aetheism, one was catholic. My elder sibling, was by her other parents staunch decree, christianed not into Catholism but his denomination. I explored faith from quite early, knowing I could not in 'good faith' be confirmed. From the Christian tradition i was brought up in, and what I take with me, I believe we are the same, every man, every sparrow. A block between me and others would seems a block created by me something else made in the image of the God that made them: a rejection against the questions asked of me not my them but by something greater.

I am sorry if my statement cause offence. But I feel I should say that since this subject rose last time it caused me great discomfort, sadness and indeed challenged the way I felt about NP and certainly how I felt I related to the community here not just individuals but as a whole, which I accept is totally unfair overreaction based on my emotional vulnerability at the time.

I say to others that if they feel greatly discomforted to the point of reaction its time to step out for a while. So I think its time for me to take my own advice.

lir

I don't know what to say - maybe "Noooooo" or "I'm so so sorry" or "I'm devastated" or "Please please don't go away" or all of the above.

I'm so saddened by the idea that what I've said is a block against other people. Yes yes yes, I completely agree that all people are made in the image of God. I don't want to "reject" any of them as people. Does it seem equally upsetting to you if I say that I wouldn't consider a "relationship" with somebody who'd want me to move to another part of the world to be with him, not because there's anything wrong with other parts of the world, but because I already have a commitment to my kids, and they've been through enough upheaval, so right now they need me to stay where I am for at least the next 10 years? Because that's the same kind of reason as the reasons I outlined when I answered PN's question about the faith issue - about commonality, not value or judgement.

lir, you are so important to this thread. I don't want to be the person who pushed you away. It would be much better, I think, if I delete all my contributions to the recent discussion, and commit to regarding "Lydia looking for a new bloke" as a "not nice" topic that can't be mentioned on the NPT. My faith doesn't seem to cause upheaval if I mention it in any other context. Would that make you come back? Please?

I'd be grateful if people could delete where they've quoted stuff I've now deleted, please.

lostinrates

N o one of us is 'more important' to the thread than any other here.

But no. It makes no difference. Erasing, deleting makes no difference to what has been said and emotions its created, in fact, I'm almost glad they outed, if that's how you feel its better I know. I felt that when this last arose too and stepped back.

Its not n issue of you, like the faith issue,

Its a block that has been put before me I must overcome.

And no, it doesn't make since to me the other comparisons. Because, in such a relationship other compromises work. For example, fir and I have been a couple in different countries, as I was from my parents continents apart. My cultural background would suggest to me that if you had met this man then it was for you to make it work in such a way that was possible for all, to reach compromise, or to give him opportunity to relocate and commute...smaller issues than the one you raised. Or that maybe the place offered better opportunity for your children .....a plethora of considerations that to close your eyes to before looking at options was not beneficial to you, them, or even in the way I have been taught what the Christian idea of love and trust in God is. Of course, I see people love and trust in God very differently, and I do not feel wish to judge for them, as I find myself unable to do so at all, as I could not find a place where I felt the church really was loving and trusting in God. I suppose your statements really challenge my very respect for Church ( as in people) and make me think of a time when I said I felt your church sounded like somewhere I would feel comfortable and realise how wrong I was. That saddens me.

Its me, not you I guess.

ivyleaf

Yorkie1 wrote: »

However, one thing which I think is vastly different today from when we were kids, is the birthday party culture. From an astonishingly young age now, it seems that it is expected to hold a party for lots of kids, plus party bags - and that 'keeping up with the Joneses' in this way is essential. It just gives another way in for bullying to occur.

And you hear stories of schools not allowing party invitations to be circulated on school premises unless the whole class is invited.

I do feel for families now.

DD2 and her DH are on a very tight budget, but their children go to a school where most of the families are middle class and there is huge pressure to spend more than they can afford on things like parties.

DD1 and her DH, on the other hand, lived in a HA flat and when it was their son's 6th birthday, they held his party at home, with sandwiches, crisps, jelly and icecream, and traditional party games.

The guests' mums reaction was "OMG, you're so brave! I'd never cope with organising a party like this, but my DC has had a brilliant time!"

It was a huge novelty to the other kids, who were all used to going to a "venue" to parties with some form of "entertainment".
I don't think you could do a traditional party at home for older primary school children these days though. Expectations are too high.

LydiaJ

I have hurt my friend, whom I love. I have broken a community that is important to me. I am sad.

lostinrates

I would just like to confirm that as far as I am concerned the subject of Lydia finds a man IS still a nice topic ( edit and was not the topic which actually caused my reaction, but something said twice in this context not to do with men at all. )

I have said as much to Lydia private and expressed as I have here, the issue of how I ReAct remains soley My responsibility and Nobody else's.

I really don't see a big deal in me stepping out for some time. I am pleased I have the authenticity to voice why this time.

Oh, and no communutiy rumbles on when people come and go. Thank fully it is greater than individuals. Its almost a church of its own, in the best way, a community of people pulling together in love and support.

GDB2222

LydiaJ wrote: »

If the pain is the result of the accident, then we should be able to get the defendants to pay for treatment. We really need to see a paediatric OT urgently, not just for treatment but for getting him medical evidence for needing extra time in exams - he will be doing timed practical assessments in science next year, and unlike essay subjects, he will need to do them with a pen rather than a keyboard. (Typing, I'm glad to say, is painless for him.) Unfortunately the NHS paediatric OTs round here are understaffed and have an excessively long waiting time, so since the climbing incident I am wondering if we might be able to speed things up if the pain is really a consequence of the accident.

Any advice gratefully received. Thanks.

When I was in my twenties, I fell down a flight of stairs in the underground. I badly sprained my ankle (as well as getting concussion). That ankle took over ten years to heal fully, ie much, much longer than a broken bone. So, based on my anecdotal account, it's entirely possible that DS's pain is as a result of the car accident.

Could you perhaps take him to see a physio privately? That would not be all that expensive, and you might get some insight.