Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

zagubov

SingleSue wrote: »

Personally, I would go for more rooms which are bigger...but then I am greedy.

I really miss having a second downstairs room to relax in and my lounge/front room is not the biggest room in the world, for a lounge, it is really quite small. My kitchen is long but fairly skinny...so my personal choice for my house would be a wider kitchen, an additional reception room and a lounge twice the size it is now plus a downstairs cloackroom.

Upstairs, I would love larger bedrooms, especially youngest's room, an ensuite bathroom, a bigger main bathroom which can actually take a full size bath and ideally, an extra bedroom.

I seethe when I see property shows going on about merging rooms together as if bigger ones are more useful. There's a law in Japan that you must have a WC separate from a bathroom, and so it should be.

You need a wall to put things against and protect you from the noise of everybody's business (and vice versa). Our first house looked like nothing from the outside. On the inside it was divided up so it was like Narnia/the TARDIS. We worked out how to make the upstairs better by dividing a bedroom in two. We went away for a week one Hogmanay to find that our estate agent had a firm buyer at a much higher price than it had cost us.

Only problem is our next property was more expensive but not so liveable in. Still miss that first house. And although it was quite far inside the London boundary it overlooked a lovely park. We've probably all got places we look back on like that.

SingleSue

I married a non Christian, it wasn't that much of a problem to me as I have never been particularly orthodox in my manner of worship but my Christian values are strong and my faith is important to me...I thought I had more than enough to carry the both of us through. We did have things that were important to the both of us regarding the church mainly due to I think, his own Christian upbringing even if he did not have the true belief.

None of the boys are Christian although James shows a remarkable amount of Christian values for an atheist (as said by his philosophy teacher) and because he had the upbringing he had, he could see things from all 'sides' and very handily for their philosophy debates, could change 'sides' depending on which had the least amount of advocates and argue with the same amount of passion.

SingleSue

PasturesNew wrote: »

I wasn't even christened/baptised... just think of those future genealogists scratching their heads trying to find my parish

I was baptised and it was important to myself and ex hubby, that the children were too...will be no problem tracing me in years to come...actually, maybe not, I was baptised not only in a different parish but in a completely different county! :rotfl:

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote: »

Because it's not just about turning up to church and putting in a quid. For me, it's an entire view of "life, the universe and everything". Quite apart from the obvious two - that my approach to (a) sex and (b) money would be incomprehensible to a "regular bloke" - if my response to any remotely significant decision is to pray about it first, then how could I do any shared decision making with a bloke who didn't do likewise? If my concept of a Christian relationship is that we pray together frequently, whether there are decisions to make or not, ditto. It's not about judging people, or thinking that Christians are "better" or anything - it's a basic level of compatibility. I think the Jewish NP understand this from their perspective.

I get it. Though for jews it is either being a religious jew and wanting to be with someone who practises the same values, a cultural jew who just wants someone that has the basic understanding and accepting of practising differences but its "in the bones", or its someone who isn't bothered.

DQmayD: The big problem with DS2 and the GF is he is completely athiest (at the moment) but brought up jewish, she is a church going christian. Clearly, she is not as religious as Lydia but I can't see how those views are going to meet long term.

LydiaJ

Expert Psychotherapist has been to visit us at home to see the three of us in situ. Everything is looking a lot more promising that it did before. He makes me feel that my kids and I are being seen, heard and understood in a way that we haven't been up to now, as well as that he has what it takes to make a difference to us.

Also, does anybody know if there is such a thing as a private paediatric OT? And if so, how does one go about finding one?

We went to a climbing wall place with my brother last week, and DS found that he got his arm pain (usually only caused by writing) from the climbing. However, he was climbing with both arms, and only got the pain in his right arm. This suggests that the pain is probably a result of breaking that arm really badly in the accident, rather than being due to his hyper-extending finger joints. (Previously we had not been able to tell, since he only writes with his right hand, so we wouldn't expect his left hand to get the pain even if the hyper extension, which he has in both hands, was the cause.)

If the pain is the result of the accident, then we should be able to get the defendants to pay for treatment. We really need to see a paediatric OT urgently, not just for treatment but for getting him medical evidence for needing extra time in exams - he will be doing timed practical assessments in science next year, and unlike essay subjects, he will need to do them with a pen rather than a keyboard. (Typing, I'm glad to say, is painless for him.) Unfortunately the NHS paediatric OTs round here are understaffed and have an excessively long waiting time, so since the climbing incident I am wondering if we might be able to speed things up if the pain is really a consequence of the accident.

Any advice gratefully received. Thanks.

silvercar

Also, does anybody know if there is such a thing as a private paediatric OT? And if so, how does one go about finding one?

If you ring a major private health insurer like BUPA they will have a list of consultants in each field and will know the areas they specialise. Either a paediatrician who specialises in OT or an OT that specialises in young people.

Generali

silvercar wrote: »

If you ring a major private health insurer like BUPA they will have a list of consultants in each field and will know the areas they specialise. Either a paediatrician who specialises in OT or an OT that specialises in young people.

Not sure about the UK but every GP in Aus has a directory on his desk which lists all public and private specialists in the state (health is a state not a Federal matter).

My GP managed to find me a facial surgeon who started working life as a dentist and so was extra good at dealing with the type of cancer I had.

Doozergirl

silvercar wrote: »

I get it. Though for jews it is either being a religious jew and wanting to be with someone who practises the same values, a cultural jew who just wants someone that has the basic understanding and accepting of practising differences but its "in the bones", or its someone who isn't bothered.

DQmayD: The big problem.

Why is that a big problem? Do they think it's a big problem?

If they find common ground in the short and medium term, I don't see why it would be a problem in the medium term. Love for the individual is clearly greater than one's faith in this instance.

If they're already prepared to embrace that they were brought up with different backgrounds and can embrace that, why would it change? As they spend time together, they will influence each other anyway. Growth would likely be together.

I believe that faiths are all spokes of the same wheel, leading to the same hub. There isn't a right or wrong. We place too much focus on our differences and not enough on commonality. I absolutely respect Lydia's need to have someone that fits her exactly, and I see the logic in that where rituals are strong and important, but I also think it's possible to live with someone of differing faith if you can simply accept that love should always be the over-riding feature of all faiths and all life.

We'll either all end up satisfied that we've ended up in the place we thought we would, or we'll all end up in the same place with some of us in trouble. I know what I choose to believe.

lostinrates

Doozer, thank you for saying that so well.

I have to admit. I have felt alienated to the point of departure over this discussion before. Particularly from the culture from which I was brought up. While its popular to bash the Catholic Church these days, I have made clear my respect for some of what I was brought up in, and I know some would feel the same as some of the Christians here have voiced, but by no means all, including the Monsignor I feel was a guiding light in my childhood. I have recently been talking to another Monsignor in Rome, and I think a lot of Vhristians with the 'closed' attitude would be probably equally alienated by his open attitude. While I no means consider my self Christian, I do consider myself throroughly of Christian tradition ( I guess like a secular Jew) and i am very glad I had some of the more open arms people in my childhood, as I think I would be a more closed alienated person from the church otherwise.

I was brought up in a family where one parent was staunch aetheism, one was catholic. My elder sibling, was by her other parents staunch decree, christianed not into Catholism but his denomination. I explored faith from quite early, knowing I could not in 'good faith' be confirmed. From the Christian tradition i was brought up in, and what I take with me, I believe we are the same, every man, every sparrow. A block between me and others would seems a block created by me something else made in the image of the God that made them: a rejection against the questions asked of me not my them but by something greater.

I am sorry if my statement cause offence. But I feel I should say that since this subject rose last time it caused me great discomfort, sadness and indeed challenged the way I felt about NP and certainly how I felt I related to the community here not just individuals but as a whole, which I accept is totally unfair overreaction based on my emotional vulnerability at the time.

I say to others that if they feel greatly discomforted to the point of reaction its time to step out for a while. So I think its time for me to take my own advice.

Doozergirl

Lol. No, they cancelled the zebra .