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Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

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Comments

  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    vivatifosi wrote: »
    Glad you are home safe Lydia.

    :)
    Nikkster wrote: »
    I think that if you feel its something you can mark in a positive way then go for it. I think you're an amazing, strong, independent woman.

    Thank you. I don't feel like it, so it's nice to be reminded that other people see me that way.
    Nikkster wrote: »
    And 10 years of leaving something that wasn't right and getting yourself to where you are now is worth celebrating.
    But I'm probably biased ;)

    I don't really have a date like that. I know when I moved out, but it was over a long time before that. Every day is a mini celebration of not being there any more :)

    Ummm .... he left me. I was doing everything I could to try to save the marriage, but he was still seeing her, on and off, so nothing I did made any difference.

    Had a weird conversation with my mil yesterday. She disapproves of her niece's soon-to-be-ex-husband's new woman for making a move on a married man with children. Neither of us mentioned LNE's affair. I still don't know how she feels about it.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • silvercar
    silvercar Posts: 49,899 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Name Dropper
    Had a weird conversation with my mil yesterday. She disapproves of her niece's soon-to-be-ex-husband's new woman for making a move on a married man with children. Neither of us mentioned LNE's affair. I still don't know how she feels about it.

    Too embarrassed to mention it?
    I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
  • Generali
    Generali Posts: 36,411 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    silvercar wrote: »
    Too embarrassed to mention it?

    I suspect this is the case.
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    silvercar wrote: »
    Too embarrassed to mention it?

    DQWD
    Yes, I'm sure we both were. But was she just talking about her niece, or was there some element of trying to tell me she didn't like the way her son treated me? I'll never know, I expect.

    He believed, as adulterers usually do, that his affair was my fault for being such a dreadful wife that he was driven to look elsewhere. I've always wondered how much he managed to convince his parents that I was all the bad things he thought of me. I know they're far too polite to let me know any of the bad things they may think of me, anyway.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • ukmaggie45
    ukmaggie45 Posts: 2,968 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    We're having a bit of a tough time here. After the car kerfuffle we finally got my car back, they haven't done anything to it, but OH has had long conversations with Motability Engineer, and is happy enough to take it back (he did do a test drive before accepting it back). Think that was Thursday evening. Since then week has gone downhill. :(

    Woke about 2.30 am yesterday morning with dreadful itchy hives. :eek: I suspect from the fish from our local chippy the previous evening. Simply couldn't sleep the itching was so awful. OH very kindly made a pot of tea for me, and about 5 am I was so shattered was able to get a couple of hours sleep.

    DD1 and family came to pick up the Skoda ready to drive to cottage today, they stayed with DD2 last night. Did have a brief chat, :) but by time they'd collected the various bits (eg travel cot) and packed them in car I'd fallen asleep again. So didn't see much of them. :( But GS3 (age 2) had done me a nice drawing on the train, so that was cheering. :j

    This morning OH wakes up with what he thought was infected tooth. :( So emergency dentist, took ages to sort it out, but he got appt this afternoon but bloody miles away. About 3/4 hour drive. Dentist apparently very nice though, and said not tooth, but infection from placque (sp?) and has given him a course of antibiotics and instrucions to brush his back teeth more carefully. :T

    So still not getting off! I'm much better today, but still have some itchyness, so glad not to be trying to pack again. Bit of a nuisance as we were supposed to collect a guest from Pwllheli station this afternoon, but we think prob DD1 will manage to do that. If he has to take a cab we'll re-imburse.

    OH's cousin and a couple of his friends went to caravan for a couple of days this week, and have more or less sorted the wasp nest out... Only prob was that the wasps had started to re-locate under the deck where it's dry! :eek: At least our guest will be able to keep re-hydrating boat until we get there... Don't think we'll get much sailing done now though! :( Will rather depend on how well Duck has taken up the water by time we do actually get there!
  • Nikkster
    Nikkster Posts: 6,391 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Lydia: not quoting, but sure you can work out what I'm referring to anyway.
    I didn't choose for my ex to be a lying, cheating thief either. I did everything I could to try and save him from himself but it made no difference. He would only have walked away at the point where he have found someone to walk to. As it was, I stayed way to long (by at least 3 years and a few £k).
    By all accounts you dealt with the situation you were presented with, with dignity and as well as anyone could hope. And continue to do so. None of us are superhuman.
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    Nikkster wrote: »
    Lydia: not quoting, but sure you can work out what I'm referring to anyway.
    I didn't choose for my ex to be a lying, cheating thief either. I did everything I could to try and save him from himself but it made no difference. He would only have walked away at the point where he have found someone to walk to. As it was, I stayed way to long (by at least 3 years and a few £k).
    By all accounts you dealt with the situation you were presented with, with dignity and as well as anyone could hope. And continue to do so. None of us are superhuman.

    Thank you. I appreciate your belief in me.

    I am so proud of you for walking away. It was, as you rightly say, a different situation from mine. We have all made mistakes - some of us with more catastrophic consequences than others. Wasting a few years trying to help someone that you had, at least at one point, loved is the sort of mistake that good people make. You have learned from it, and you are getting the last word by living free with your head held high and making your life into something to be proud of.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    edited 1 August 2015 at 8:31PM
    Saw Speedy Dog again today. She is *very* full of energy. Had a good discussion with the staff member at the centre. Since we will often be walking her with our friends next door and their dog, the people at the centre want us to take Next Door Dog in and introduce them to see how the two of them get on. They say it may take several visits but they would like the two of them to be able to get on OK with each other before Speedy Dog comes to live with us. (She had been paddling in water just before I took this pic, which is why the fur on her legs is all wet. The arm belongs to the shelter staff member.)

    20150801_153101.jpg
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • Nikkster
    Nikkster Posts: 6,391 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Speedy dog looks lovely :) Very eager little face :D
  • SingleSue
    SingleSue Posts: 11,718 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    LydiaJ wrote: »
    DQWD
    .

    My ex husband justified his affair in the same way, apparently I was an awful mother and wife, he did everything whilst I lazed about, I deprived him of sex, he did all the stuff with the boys, appointments, therapies etc etc etc.

    His friends were against him initially but he successfully managed to get his version out and that is now the version being believed....even by my own brother. The boys went mental when my brother came out with it about a year ago as they remember just how much (or how little) their father did around the house or his involvement in their lives when we were together. From memory, he came to just one appointment out of over a hundred and then declared it was a child related thing and thus, my department.....that also went for all therapies, behaviour management controls, modifying parenting etc.

    Unfortunately, we seem to be trying to fight a losing battle.....
    We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.
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