Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

Twitchy, unsettled morning ....

Was fed last night - that was nice
Also got given an old garden parasol and base (still in the car) and offered two plants which I'm awaiting a call about imminently on how/when to collect.

Twitchy because .... had a text early yesterday evening, there'd been another fall, so I've been expecting another/more calls to say further falls, but nothing so far.... makes one restless.

V understandable to feel unsettled.
Sending hugs. :grouphug:

GDB2222

PasturesNew wrote: »

Twitchy, unsettled morning ....

Was fed last night - that was nice
Also got given an old garden parasol and base (still in the car) and offered two plants which I'm awaiting a call about imminently on how/when to collect.

Twitchy because .... had a text early yesterday evening, there'd been another fall, so I've been expecting another/more calls to say further falls, but nothing so far.... makes one restless.

Is it now necessary for your mum to have 24/7 care? Somebody to sit with her at all times, day and night. The home can't provide that from their own resources, but the NHS/your local authority can and probably must do so.

Other people, with more experience can tell you best how to get the gears in motion, but in default of better I would be tempted to call the ambulance to take her to hospital, then refuse permission for her to go back to the home until the necessary provision is in place.

This is potentially a big-budget expense for the NHS/LA, and they won't go out of their way to take this on unless you force their hand. However, once she is in the NHS's care, they can't easily just send her back, given the repeated falls - which of course you would explain fairly forcefully to the hospital staff.

phoebe1989seb

Sorry to jump in uninvited here Nice People, but I couldn't help but notice your posts PN. My parents were both in a nursing home - mum had Alzheimer's and dad had Vascular Dementia, both now deceased - paid for from the sale of their home back in 2012 and despite being in a terrible state, both mentally and physically, neither was considered to qualify for NHS Continuing Care when the assessments were carried out.

My dad had numerous falls - both at home (before a severe fall caused by a stroke hospitalised him) and subsequently in the nursing home - and obviously the staff were not always on hand to prevent/assist. At that time we were living some 90 minutes drive away restoring a wreck of a property (and I don't drive ), and the home would regularly call us - sometimes in the middle of the night - expecting us to accompany either parent to hospital as they were too short-staffed. They actually stated that if we were unable to do so, my mum/dad would be sent without support in the ambulance or (if the situation were not severe enough to require one) they would have to wait at the home till someone was available to accompany them by car.....on one occasion poor DH had to change my dad's nappy in the middle of A&E

Eventually last year my dad had a severe stroke at which point he was re-assessed for NHS CC and it was finally awarded. The nursing home didn't want to take him back, saying they lacked the resources to cope - despite employing many nursing/EMI staff. They finally agreed - about ten days before he passed away - and employed additional agency staff so that he had one-to-one care 24/7. His room was adapted with high-sided bed with padded sides and they placed inflatable mattress-type pads with alarm/sensors on the floor surrounding it just in case, although by that point he was more or less incapable of walking.....that didn't stop him attempting to climb out though

Sorry, I know this is not really of any help - and I'm not aware of all the facts in your situation - but I just wanted to say that additional support can sometimes be available. As someone once advised me - I think it was on the Alzheimer's Forum - the person that shouts loudest gets the most help. Unfortunately DH and me are very private people and don't like asking for assistance. Not only that but we were dealing with three parents with Dementia at the same time (his dad passed away in 2013 after suffering from Vascular for eighteen months) and tbh being only in our mid-late forties we were not expecting to face these issues with our parents for some years yet I think the whole experience was a shock to our systems and we were just knocked sideways by it.

Hopefully you will get the help you need both for your loved one's sake and for your own peace of mind.

My mum passed away in March, so it's over for us (and all our parents) thank god.....

{{{hugs}}} to you x

LydiaJ

phoebe1989seb wrote: »

Sorry to jump in uninvited here Nice People,

:hello:
Hello phoebe!
Do hang around and post some more. What are your views on mushrooms? Are you Jewish*? Have you any children who are dyslexic and/or on the autistic spectrum? Do you live in Inner Hertfordshire (ie actual Hertfordshire) or Outer Hertfordshire (ie the rest of the world)? If you've been lurking for a while, you probably know you can talk about anything and everything here...

PasturesNew wrote: »

You're more than welcome. All we ask here is that people are nice while on the NP threads....

What PN said.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I don't want to over-burden this thread with my OAP woes

PN, post as much as you need to about your parent stuff. The NPT should be a place you can be listened to by people who know and understand you (even if only virtually in some cases) and anyway, you're not the only one. A lot of us are at the "elderly parent(s) needing support" stage of life. I'm not too bad ATM because my mum's gone now, and my dad's OK for the time being, but I appreciated the NP's support when my mum was deteriorating, and if/when my dad needs more support, I'm sure I'll be posting about him.

*Just in case any new lurkers see this question and wonder if the NP are anti-semitic, here's some small print to explain that being Jewish or having a Jewish partner is just one of many things that we have found more common among the NP than the general population. Jews and members of other faiths or none are all equally welcome here.

phoebe1989seb

Hi and thank you both for the warm welcome PN and Lydia

Perfectly happy with the request to *keep it nice*, being a naturally nice person, lol! Usually I frequent the Green Fingered Forum - to which LIR will attest - as I'm a bit of a gardener who also happens to have restoring unloved period gems (house-wise, that is ) as a hobby......

Currently we reside in the West Midlands, having sold our Wiltshire [STRIKE]project[/STRIKE] house last year. We fell in love with the new house on RM, drove umpteen miles to view it and offered on the spot. Originally we hail from Hampshire, have also lived in Essex, but despite appearing to be trying out all the English counties, have never lived in Hertfordshire - so definitely *Outer Herts*, lol :rotfl:

Hate mushrooms and not Jewish - although find myself strangely drawn to the Jewish faith for some unknown reason. No autistic children, but one slightly Dyslexic DH

As I said, my passion is saving old unloved houses, gardening and I'm a bit of a fan of all things Arts & Crafts/Nouveau/Pre-Raphaelite

We're both 48, work from home (have an online business), have one DS (flown the nest, lives in Brighton with GF), three mad cats, two even madder dogs and sadly no parents left between us.

That's me in a nutshell really.....

xxx

LydiaJ

phoebe1989seb wrote: »

Hi and thank you both for the warm welcome PN and Lydia

Perfectly happy with the request to *keep it nice*, being a naturally nice person, lol! Usually I frequent the Green Fingered Forum - to which LIR will attest - as I'm a bit of a gardener who also happens to have restoring unloved period gems (house-wise, that is ) as a hobby......

Currently we reside in the West Midlands, having sold our Wiltshire [STRIKE]project[/STRIKE] house last year. We fell in love with the new house on RM, drove umpteen miles to view it and offered on the spot. Originally we hail from Hampshire, have also lived in Essex, but despite appearing to be trying out all the English counties, have never lived in Hertfordshire - so definitely *Outer Herts*, lol :rotfl:

Hate mushrooms and not Jewish - although find myself strangely drawn to the Jewish faith for some unknown reason. No autistic children, but one slightly Dyslexic DH

As I said, my passion is saving old unloved houses, gardening and I'm a bit of a fan of all things Arts & Crafts/Nouveau/Pre-Raphaelite

We're both 48, work from home (have an online business), have one DS (flown the nest, lives in Brighton with GF), three mad cats, two even madder dogs and sadly no parents left between us.

That's me in a nutshell really.....

xxx

With an introductory post like that, it's clear you'll fit right in here if you choose to stick around....

Doozergirl

Hello, phoebe. Lovely to have someone else to bolster the Midlands contingent.

Take that, Inners Herts

lostinrates

Hi phoebe.....yeah....she's with me.

michaels

lostinrates wrote: »

Hi phoebe.....yeah....she's with me.

Don't worry Phoebe, NP will keep an open mind

Percy1983

Not posted much recently, been rather busy.

Business is booming, decided on a name for mini me and made the discision we won't get him christened/baptised. That conversation came up as we have been invited to a christening of a child of 2 non believers, I don't know how they do it as I couldn't go in a church and make promises I have no intention of keeping.

For the record I do identify myself as a humanist, I believe in being a good person without the fear of a divine entity forcing me do it.